When I Lay Our Baby Down
by Chronicleofabutterfly
Summary: Sequel to 'Redeeming Olivia': Had Olivia known it could be the last time she ever layed her baby down in his crib perhaps, she would have given him an extra kiss and tucked him in just a little tighter.
1. Chapter 1 I Missed That

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 1 I Missed That

A/N: This Is the sequel to Redeeming Olivia, if you haven't read it this will make absolutely no sense to you. I don't own the characters that come from SVU, but I have been known to make some up of my own! Please review!

Olivia lay asleep on the couch with her twelve-week old son Isaac, quietly asleep on her chest. Olivia's hand held a book still open and resting casually on her thigh, it seemed she had nodded off while reading. The last twelve-weeks had been amazing for the new mom who was petrified at becoming a mother but, who, has since found no greater joy than holding her son.

Olivia, at times found herself overwhelmed, especially when her husband, Elliot, had to return to work. She had one week left on her maternity leave and she spent all the time she had basking in the presence of her son and reading any parenting book she could get her hands on. Everything from learning how to pump her breast so Isaac would take a bottle when she returned to work, to childproofing the house, to reading Dr. Seuss. Her mother hadn't laid the proper foundation for her as she grew up and she had a lot to learn if Isaac would have a chance.

Two weeks after Isaac was born Olivia found herself willingly saleing her prized 1966 mustang to purchase 1998. It wasn't the old style muscle car that she loved but the newer mustang would keep her son safer and ultimately that was all she cared about.

Elliot opened the door to their home quietly, knowing that at three-thirty in the morning, Olivia would probably be sleeping or trying to get Isaac to sleep. Whatever the case was, he needed to be quiet and not disturb the silence. He loosened his tie and placed his shoes in the closet as he observed the pale light in the living room. He smiled discovering his sleeping family and the smile Olivia had as she slept with her hand possessively covering her young son's body.

Elliot gently gathered his son into his arms, careful of his head and walked him to the nursery. He layed his tiny body into the crib and pulled the blanket over his chest. Isaac had his mother's nose for which Elliot was thankful, his eyes were a direct result of Elliot but, his blond hair was uniquely his own.

Elliot returned to his still sleeping wife and gently took the book out of her hand and smiled at the title, "101 Lullabies". It never dawned on him until that moment that when Olivia said she knew nothing about being a mom she wasn't exaggerating. He brushed her bangs away from her sleeping eyes and smiled remembering how he had to show her how to change Isaac's diaper, how embarrassed she was to ask him how to do it.

"Liv," he whispered, "honey, wake up." He kissed her softly as he leaned over her body. "Liv?" He smiled knowing she was completely exhausted from Isaac's eating schedule. He slipped his arms under her slender body and carried her close to his chest as he walked into the master bedroom and placed her gently on the bed. Pulling the comforter over her body, he kissed her mouth gently, "Good night faker."

"Night sweetie." She giggled, "Girls got to do a lot for a free ride around here." She ran her hand along his shoulder and rested it on the nape of his neck and drew him closer kissing him softly back before resting her head again for sleep.

Elliot leaned forward into he stream of hot water allowing it to assault his body. The last year had been bitter sweet, arresting Olivia's brother for her attack, letting her father die, marring her and having Isaac, his heart ached and at the same time soared. With the birth of his son he felt as if things could only get better but there was always a since of foreboding that crept in the back of his mind. It was something he couldn't shake.

He extended his arms against the cool tile of the shower and rested his head allowing his emotions to finally surface. Seeing Olivia go through the last year had driven him to the edge, his tears fell quietly lost in the stream of water from the shower head.

"Elliot-" He was startled to feel Olivia's arms encompass his waist. "Honey, what's wrong?" she stepped closer allowing the water to douse her body.

"Nothing." He whispered turning to face her, "I missed you today, how was Isaac."

"I missed you to," She said feeling the tenseness in his body, "Isaac was a joy as always, and you're changing the subject." She caressed his wet face noticing the red swollen eyes that she'd rarely had the honor of seeing with all of his macho testosterone.

"I think I'm just a little stressed." He said pulling her close. He held onto her tightly, almost cutting off her breathing.

"Elliot, talk to me please." She slid her hand up his slick back and kneaded the twisted muscles. "Your back is in knots." She informed him softly as she rubbed the plane in its fullness. "Did you catch a case today?" she asked wondering if his stress came from work.

"No." he whispered shaking his head harshly as if trying to shake a memory from his mind.

"Elliot," She took his face in her hands, "What happened?"

"I had a dream…a nightmare." He finally managed turning the water off and pulling a towel from the wall offering it to Olivia who wrapped it around her body as Elliot pulled another off the wall and dried himself.

Olivia watched as Elliot left the bathroom seemingly defeated in stature. She dried quickly and deposited the towel in the hamper before covering herself with her robe. She found Elliot slipping on a pair of boxers as she walked to him.

"Want to tell me about it?" She asked resting her hands on his hips.

Elliot sat slowly drawing her to his lap, "I thought I lost you guys." His voice cracked.

"What? Who?" She asked softly.

"You and Isaac, I had this nightmare, that you guys were gone, I woke up and you weren't there, when I checked for Isaac his crib was empty." He rested is chin on Olivia's shoulder.

"Elliot,' She pulled his hands tightly around her body, "when did this happen?"

"Last week." He sighed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked not in judgment so much as curiosity. "You don't have to hold onto things like that, I know it kills your body honey." She turned to him and grazed his mouth with his own. "Come here." She whispered.

"Where?"

"Just come." She tugged at his hand and walked him into Isaac's room.

"What?" He whispered trying not to wake their son.

"Look at me." She guided his face to hers, "I'm right here,' He arched her neck to kiss him, she sucked softly on his bottom lip and traced the contours of his lips with her tongue, "And so is our son El." She motioned to the tiny body in the crib, "Promise me something Elliot." She whispered.

"Anything,"

"Don't hold onto your pain, please tell me when something like this is bothering you." She kissed him softly again and was preparing to pull away when he embraced her tighter and separated her lips with his probing tongue, he felt her breath cascade from her nose and he delighted in simply tasting his wife while he held her body in his hands.

"Olivia?" He whispered taking hold of the robe's belt, "I need to know you're here." He said pulling the fabric belt gently.

Olivia covered his hand with her own and whispered in his ear, "Then make love to me Elliot." She smiled softly taking hold of his hand and leading him back to their bedroom.

"Don't you have to see the doctor first?" he asked as she turned to face him.

"I did this afternoon and they said my incision is fine and I can return to normal activity, which I'm assuming, means making love to my husband." She smiled tracing his jaw line with her fingers.

Elliot untied the knot that held the robe in place and opened it slowly exposing her body. They hadn't made love since Isaac was born because the doctor hadn't given them the green light until almost two weeks after her staples were removed.

"You have to be the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen Olivia." He said observing her naked form and smiling as she blushed. "Your blushing." He laughed stepping closer and allowing himself to rub his forming erection into her body.

"Um…" she gasped as she felt him, "I think I have good reason." She laughed as he met her lips and searched her delicately as if it were their first kiss. He ran his hands along her cheek and traveled down the contours of her neck as he kissed her. She moaned at his delicate touch as it past over her breast.

Elliot separated from her mouth as he felt her nipple rise under his manipulating thumb, "Good to hear you again." He smiled lowering her softly on the bed. She sat up as he walked closer and pulled at the hem of his boxers removing them to release his erection.

"Did I do that?" She feigned innocence.

"Just the site of you." He smiled pushing her softly down and allowing her to pull herself to the top of the bed. Elliot hovered over her warm body and kissed her softly allowing his tongue and lips to explore her body. She felt his breath as he kissed her breast tenderly continued to explore her waist and rib cage stopping at the scar that provided life to their son as well as a new canvas of skin for Olivia's body.

"What do you think about this Liv?" He asked her kissing her softly.

"Um…" she arched her back, "I think it feels…pretty good." She panted.

"No," He laughed and traced the C-section scar. "I mean what do you think about not having a constant reminder of Oliver carved into your body?" He looked at her waiting for the answer.

Olivia touched his face softly, "I'm glad I never have to see that date again, I knew that having Isaac would change my life but I never knew he would save me from the pain of having to see that scar everyday."

"I'm glad you don't have to see it again either." Elliot whispered continuing his ministrations to her body. He stopped briefly at her belly button until he heard her whimper causing him to continue to his southern journey. He kissed her softly; surprised to see that in spite of being busy with a new infant in the house she had taken the time to produce a perfect bikini line. He kissed her softly and felt her body rise with the pleasure.

"Easy Liv." He smiled, "Want it to last don't you?" he kissed her again.

"It's been so long El." She pleaded with him.

"Patience is a virtue Liv." He smiled into her and probed her with his tongue. He tasted every crevice and fold that was uniquely her. He bit at her swollen clit and felt himself harden as she moaned.

"El…I"

"Shhh…relax." He said probing her deeper. "Come if you want, this is for you." He said placing his hand over her abdomen to control her bucking hips as he sucked harder on her cliterous. Elliot slipped a single finger inside of her and then another and watched her face as she moaned in pleasure.

"That….is so…good." She panted

Elliot felt her body contract around his fingers and he wihdrew allowing his tongue to finish what it had started. He moved frantically over her hearing her cry out and eventually he plummeted his tongue inside of her causing her to legs to contract as she cried out in release.

Elliot brought himself to her face and kissed her allowing her to taste herself within him. "Think you can handle another one?" he asked her rubbing his erection over her thigh.

"I…um" She panted trying to focus her attention on his words before deciding if she could handle another orgasm so close together.

"I believe in you." He smiled adjusting her leg for access to her body. He hovered her body watching her face; her eyes were closed in anticipation. "Open your eyes." He whispered rubbing himself into her oils. She opened her eyes and kissed him softly.

He withdrew his lips and inserted himself slowly watching her face as she adjusted to him; her breathing was fast and ragged as he filled her body. It had been too long since she'd been able to make love to him and it seemed as if her body was taking him in for the first time. He felt her muscles contact around him and he smiled knowing he was capable of making her cry out in ecstasy at any given moment. He decided to let her body calm itself as he rested inside of her.

"Please," She whispered bucking into his body.

"Wait." He smiled still feeling her muscles responding to him.

"I don't want to." She tightened her legs around him and pushed him deeper into her body. "Please…don't make me beg El." She took hold of his bottom lip and sucked it softly feeling him inside and wanting him to move within her.

Elliot moved softly as he kissed her gently on the neck "I need you so much." He whispered moving faster inside her, "I love that you're this tight." He smiled feeling her walls close in on him.

"Three months… with out you." She managed through his increasingly deeper thrust.

"Too long." He replied moving faster, building the friction that started in the base of his spine. "Too beautiful." He offered moving relentlessly in and out of her body.

"I love…" she pulled him closer and wrapped her legs around him tighter, "you Elliot."

Elliot tapped her cervix and moved harder and faster at her begging request as he moaned with his wife's whimpers and felt the sensation engulf his already aching body. "Liv," he breathed out.

"El.' She picked the shortest word to respond as she felt her breast flush and rise and her abdomen contract.

"Come with me." He whispered.

"I'm ready." She raked her hands over his back and in a manner of three deep and fast thrusts they cried out with one another. Olivia felt him bite gently into her shoulder as he dug her nails into his back as the orgasms past over both of them. Elliot rested his head on her shoulder and removed himself taking her into an embrace.

"I missed that." She smiled out of breath

"Me too." He placed a kiss on the back of her head.

Elliot felt Olivia's body relax against his as she fought against sleep and then finally surrendered. In spite of making love to his wife, in spite of how rewarding and loving it was he couldn't shake the fact that something was entirely wrong.


	2. Chapter 2 That's Just Wrong

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 2 That's Just Wrong

Olivia's eyes fluttered open to the sounds of her young son crying, she rolled on her side to find that it was only four-forty in the morning which was exactly sixteen minutes after the last time she'd breast fed him. She smiled and moaned at the same time as she pulled herself from the warmth of her husband's arms.

Olivia leaned into the crib watching as he son kicked his legs and moved his arms frantically as he cried.

"Hey handsome what's the matte honey?" Olivia smiled placing her hand on his swollen belly in an effort to sooth him. "You just ate" she smiled as she ran her index finger over his smooth hair. Normally, just the sound of Olivia's voice and her touch would coax Isaac back to sleep yet there seemed to be an urgency in his cry. "Are you wet?" she asked softly as she extracted him from his crib and laid him softly on the changing table. She pulled the buttons on the bottom of his onesies and changed his diaper. When she was finished she picked his fussy body up and held him close to her allowing his head to rest on her shoulder as he screamed in her ear.

When Olivia was certain it would take more than a simple rub of his belly she searched the room in the darkness, unwilling to turn the light on for fear it would be harder to get him to sleep, she continued searching for the lullaby book as she soothed him. "I know honey, you just want your mama huh?" It wasn't so much frustration as it was nervousness that she felt as she couldn't remember where the book was. She'd been working on memorizing a lullaby but couldn't recall the words, as his cries grew louder.

Olivia sat slowly in the rocking chair and bent her knees resting her feet on the ottoman. She lay Isaac between her thighs and tried to think of anything to sing to him. She reviewed a mental list in her head, Guns N Roses? Nope. Meatloaf? No. Simon and Garfunkel? Won't work. Olivia took a deep breath and gave it a shot as she rubbed Isaac's tummy.

"Hush little baby don't you cry…" she began to sing hesitantly as Isaac immediately responded to her voice, "Mama's gonna buy you a…" _Oh crap! What's the next line? Ah, Liv! I can't believe you don't know a lullaby_. She scolded herself as Isaac began to squirm again forcing her to make up lyrics to a tune she wasn't entirely familiar with. "Don't you cry…mama's gonna buy you a…thirty-eight." _A thirty-eight_? She chided herself knowing she probably shouldn't be singing to her child about guns but his cries were diminishing, "And if that thirty-eight don't…get a perp." She fumbled for things that rhymed but her life was about being a cop and those were the things that were in her minds forefront. "We use an undercover agent as bait…and if that agent don't lure him in…" She paused for a moment, "Then we'll come after him with Munch and Fin."

Olivia smiled half in awe that Isaac had fallen asleep to her 'lullaby' but also that it worked and in the middle of the night, she would take what she could get. She lowered him back into the crib and covered his body with the comforter. "Good night." She whispered.

Olivia left the nursery only to be startled by Elliot who waited for her in the hallway. "That was…interesting." He smiled walking to her in the pale darkness of the house.

"Elliot you scared the crap out of me." She laughed and slapped his chest playfully.

"Were you looking for something?" He asked holding the lullaby book out to her.

"Thief." She blushed. "How long were you standing here?"

"Well, Isaac didn't seem to want to let up on the crying." He steeped closer to her. "I remembered you fell asleep with this on the couch so I picked it up, but, by the time I got back here…you were making up your own songs." He smiled and kissed her softly.

"Think he'll have nightmares because of it?" she asked him resting her hand on his chest.

Elliot sensed her seriousness, "What? No- he seemed to enjoy it…it got the job done." He smiled. "I have to tell you that I kind of like it." He said as he kissed her forehead.

"Yeah? Well," she started to walk with him back to the room, "These lullabies aren't any better than mine, have you read these?" She asked holding out the book as they lay on the bed. "I mean listen to this one," She flipped through the book and read to a smiling Elliot, "Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!" she read with disdain, "And all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again?" She finished as if it were a statement.

Elliot chuckled as she flipped again "Oh, here's one…Rocka my baby in the tree tops," She looked at him alarmed, "Elliot, any woman who has an infant in a tree needs to go see Huang." She continued to read, "When the bow breaks the cradle will fall, down will come baby cradle and all!" she shook her head in disbelief, "This is supposed to sooth kids? No wonder the worlds messed up." She closed the book and cast it to the floor. "That's just wrong."

Elliot couldn't contain himself any longer and laughed hysterically, "Liv-" He tried to speak but only produced more laughter.

"What? What's so funny?" She asked in all innocence.

"Lullabies are just songs honey, nothing is really meant by them." He pulled her close, "It's the melody that sooths the baby, not the lyrics." He kissed her lips with a smile.

"Oh." She blushed, "I guess I didn't know that, but it makes sense." She chuckled.

"Your mom never sang to you?" He asked with furrowed brows as he rested his head on his palm and draped a hand on her waist. The room may have been dark but his eyes adjusted enough to see her smile fade.

"No." She said flatly as she moved just a little closer to him. "Isaac was crying one morning and he wouldn't stop," she spoke softly, "I called Fin to find out what to do and he laughed and told me to sing her a lullaby. When I got off the phone it dawned on me I didn't' know any." She offered a weak laugh.

"How come you didn't' call me Liv?" he asked a little shocked.

"Elliot, I didn't want you to doubt me, I mean I didn't even know how to change my son's diaper or give him a bath until you showed me…thank God you were the oldest or we'd be screwed trying to figure this out." She laughed, "I just didn't want you to think that on top of everything else I couldn't even get him quieted down."

Elliot smiled at eh complete innocence of Olivia, she may be a no nonsense detective who never second guess laying out a perp but when it came to her son, she second and even triple guessed every move she made fearing it might have longer range consequences. "You're a great mom Liv, your just new to the field is all." He squeezed her tightly against him.

"Am I a great mom Elliot?" She asked, "I mean I just told Isaac I would by him a thirty-eight and use cops as bait with Munch and Fin." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Liv-" He smiled rolling her body on top of him. "You worry too much."

"Elliot-"

"And you talk too much." He laughed at her fake sense of hurt.

"Well, what do you suggest I do to fix the situation?" she whispered kissing him fully on the mouth as she nested her body over his.

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Olivia woke to find an empty bed and quiet house, none of which had happened since Isaac had come home. She pulled herself quickly from the bed and donned one of Elliot's shirts, buttoning it as she walked to the nursery. She peered into the empty crib and felt her body temperature rise when she found it vacant. She retreated to the living room. "Elliot!"

"Yep, right here." He whispered back.

Olivia smiled seeing Elliot dressed for work as he bottle fed Isaac with a spit-up cloth over his shoulder.

"Elliot, is that regular milk?" She asked nervously.

"No Liv," he reassured her, "It's the breast milk from the fridge, I warmed it." He smiled.

Olivia walked closer and smiled, "How come you didn't wake me? I would have gotten up to feed him." She whispered reaching for him.

"Whoa" Elliot laughed, "Back up mama bear, I'm feeding my boy." He smiled.

Olivia slid her tiny frame next to Elliot in the oversized chair and realized that she was becoming selfish of her time with Isaac. "Sorry." She kissed his cheek.

"No problem, it's nice to see you with him." Elliot affirmed her returning a kiss to her own cheek.

Olivia wrapped her arm around Elliot's shoulders as she stroked the blond hair of their son. "I'm happy." She whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Happy, could you do me a favor?" He asked rising to his feet and laying Isaac in his playpen.

"Sure, what'dya need?"

Elliot turned around and fumbled with the tail of his tie. "This new tie you got me, I can't get it to go." He smiled sheepishly.

Olivia fixed his tie quickly and smoothened out his shirt, "You're a gorgeous man." She smiled.

"Only next to my sexy wife." He laughed retreating to the door and disappearing for work.

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Olivia had just stripped Isaac down to his pamper for a bath when the doorbell rang.

"Just a minute." She called as she placed Isaac in his playpen. Olivia opened the door and was completely startled at her discovery.

"Alex!" She chirped, "What…how…Casey said you left right after the trial." Olivia automatically opened the door wider to let her friend in.

"It's good to see you too Liv." Alex smiled. "What? No hug?"

Olivia embraced her friend warmly, "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too." Alex whispered before letting her go. "You look fantastic, Casey told me your married…to Elliot…looks like it's doing something for you huh?" she teased.

"Well, I don't know about looking fantastic but I'm deliriously happy." She laughed pulling two waters from the refrigerator and posing a more serious question. "How long can you stay this time?"

"Actually," Alex smiled and took in a deep breath. "Looks like I'm staying."

"What!" Olivia choked on her water. "How is that possible? What about Valdez?"

Alex bowed her head, "Olivia, you know I can't give specifics but let's just say there's no more credible threat." Alex pressed her lips together and waited for a response.

"Who knows your back?" She asked still in shock.

"Just Casey, I had to get your address." Alex laughed, "I wanted to tell you first."

"Have dinner here." Olivia smiled.

"Huh?"

"Have dinner here on Sunday, we'll surprise everyone with…you!" Olivia waited for an answer.

"Free food? Sounds good to me." Alex laughed taking a drink of her water.

"Okay, so when are you coming back to SVU?" Olivia asked anxiously.

"Um…well, I'm not…I'm sticking with my current profession, I landed a job as PS-82."

"PS-82? Why do they need a prosecutor at a school?" Olivia asked.

Alex laughed, "Liv, they changed my career when I went into the program, I'm not really practicing law."

"Principal? Administrator? What?" Olivia asked curiously.

"Try…kindergarten teacher." Alex smiled causing both to laugh hysterically.

"You've got to be playing me." Olivia wiped a tear from her reddened face.

"Nope, just call me, Miss-Cabot-Johnny-ate-my-crayon." Alex's comment forced them both to laugh harder.

"Well…" Olivia tried regaining her composure. "Are you happy with it?"

"Actually, I am. At first I didn't think I would be but it's good to see kid's happy and free instead of on some witness stand being torn to shreds by some ass of a defense attorney, you know?"

"Well, I'm glad for you Alex." Olivia motioned for her to come to the living room, "I want you to meet someone." Olivia smiled picking her son up and walking him to Alex. "Want to hold him?"

"Oh…Liv, he's beautiful." Alex smiled reaching out for him and bringing him close to her. "What's his name?"

"Isaac Reagan Stabler." Olivia smiled pulling her hair around her ear.

Alex let out a laugh, "Liv, you realize the initial's don't' you?"

"Yeah," Olivia laughed, "But it was already a sealed deal before we realized it. Besides this way we get to torture Munch by telling him we loved the federal government so much we wanted it embodied in our son…he almost crapped himself."

"He's so small." Alex said holding his pampered body securely against her chest.

"That reminds me." Olivia laughed picking up a towel." I have to bathe him…want to help?"

"I don't know how to bathe an infant." Alex protested.

"Ah-" Olivia scoffed as she walked to the kitchen sink, "Either did I at first, but it's cake." She laughed motioning for Alex to lay the baby in the water basin.

Olivia laughed inwardly at the fact that she was actually teaching someone to care for an infant. As he caught up with the life and romance of Alex, she shared how Eliot and her evolved to where they are now and they blessing of Isaac; and while Alex saw that Olivia was entirely happy with her life she read a sense of worry in her eyes, perhaps it was being a new mom…perhaps it was something else.


	3. Chapter 3 Surprise

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 3 Surprise

"Elliot Hurry" Olivia called to him, "They're driving up right now."

"Liv, my tie." He walked to her quickly, "Save me." He smiled.

"Your hopeless." She laughed as he pinned her gently against the front door and kissed her. "Elliot they're on the porch." She squirmed.

"Think Munch and Fin have any bets going on?" He asked grazing her breast.

"Oh spare up!" a voice called through the door causing Olivia to blush and Elliot to finally break away and allow the company to come in.

"Geez, you all fit in one car?" He laughed watching Fin and Munch enter followed by Casey and Paul and heading up the tail was Cragen.

"No," Fin smirked, "While you two were playing tonsil hockey, the rest of the them pulled up."

"Well, it's good to see you all, I've missed you." Olivia shared embraces with her friends and offered them drinks to which they momentarily declined because they were still on call for work.

"Where's my nephew?" John asked clapping his hands and looking the room over.

"He's asleep." Olivia raised a brow suggesting he not wake him up.

"Oh man. I had a theory I wanted to run by him." Munch smacked his lips in disappointment.

"John," Cragen warned with a smile, "Don't you dare corrupt my only grandbaby."

"What?" Munch asked clearly offended but smiling, "He's the only one that listens anymore."

"That's 'cause he can't tell you to shove it." Fin chimed in.

"Hey, now," Olivia offered a smile, "No blood on the floor, dinner is on the table." She ushered them to the table and watched as her friends that had been with her through one of the most trying years of her life smiled and laughed with one another.

Olivia was just about to sit when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." She smiled.

"I can get it," Elliot stood, "Who else is suppose to be here anyway?"

"Relax Elliot, it's a surprise, can you go check on Isaac please?" she kissed his cheek and retreated to the door as her guests looked at one another in confusion.

"I'm glad you made it, I think they are going to die." Olivia whispered, "Wait right here."

Olivia returned to see Elliot passing Isaac to Cragen as everyone else called dibs on the next holding session. "Hey guys," Olivia got their attention. "I want to introduce you to someone," Olivia eyes Casey who smiled as Olivia's partner in crime for the evening.

Elliot took his seat as Olivia called out, "Come on in…Alex."

It's been said that if you are very quiet and you listen intently you can hear eyelids click when they blink, if that were true, there would have been a steady rhythm produced when Alex walked into the dinning room.

"Holy hell." Cragen whispered and then cringed realizing he still held Isaac.

"Hello to you too Don." She smiled. "Got room for one more?" She laughed and laid claim to a free seat.

"Surprise!" Olivia chuckled at the men's' expressions and at Paul who still smiled in spite of being in the dark.

Cragen passed Isaac to Casey who took great delight in sharing him with Paul. Olivia saw Casey's eyes beam and was happy to know that Isaac was living up to him name bringing laughter into their dark world.

As the friends caught up on Alex's life and shared their own, Casey interrupted.

"Well Liv, we all have a surprise for you and Elliot." She laughed.

"Huh?" Elliot and Olivia answered in unison.

"Yep," Fin smiled holding Isaac, "We got the kid and you and Elliot got the rest of the night out."

"What?" Olivia smiled, "Guys, we can't leave Isaac."

"Come on Liv," Elliot encouraged her, "We haven't been out on a date since Isaac was born, it'll be fun."

"What if he gets hungry?" She protested as Elliot pulled her up from her chair.

"Then they'll use the breast milk in the refrigerator." He smiled

"But, what if he needs a diaper change?" She offered another excuse.

"Liv-" Cragen interrupted, "I'm sure one of use six can figure it out, go…it's an order Olivia."

"Yeah Liv," Alex smiled, "Well play catch up here and you two…well….you can play what ever you want." She winked at them.

Olivia opened a drawer laughing at Alex's remark and her own paranoia. "Fine." She took a pen and wrote quickly. "His doctor is Dr. Hollan, here's his number and our cell phones poison control is on the fridge with first and police-"

"Olivia," Fine interjected, "In case you haven't noticed, were all cops here who happen to already know your cell phone numbers, now get the hell out of your house." He smiled, "And have a nice time."

Elliot and Olivia finally found their way out of their home when Elliot stopped dead in his tracks.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked handing him the car keys.

"Hold on." Elliot turned and opened the door peeking his head through and yelling "Munch – Fin."

"Yeah?" Came the unison cry.

"Don't break anything! And don't loose my kid!" he laughed before finally leaving.

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"I'm so stuffed!" Olivia laughed as they walked out of the restaurant.

"What!" Elliot was shocked, "I think that's the first time I've ever heard you say that!" he laughed and pulled her closer to him as they walked.

"I think Casey got us back." Olivia smirked

"You think she's been planning it?"

"Oh, yeah, she's as sly outside of the courtroom as she is inside of the courtroom." She chuckled.

"What do you want to do Liv?" He asked her looking at his watch knowing they were defiantly on borrowed time.

"You know what?" she embraced his arm tighter, "I just want to walk with you."

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"Well, it's getting late and I have to be in front of the Morrison Commission in the morning." Cragen stood, "I've got to go."

"So, do I." Fin fought back a yawn as he stood.

"Wait what about the kid?" Munch protested looking at Alex.

"Sorry John, I start my new job tomorrow and I need sleep." Alex slipped her coat on.

"Ah, we got him." Paul laughed, "Go home – I'm off tomorrow and Casey isn't do in court until nine." He explained.

"Well you don't have to offer twice." Munch followed the crowd out leaving Casey and Paul in charge of the infant.

Paul scooped the tiny boy in his arms and sat next to Casey. "He's beautiful" Paul smiled.

"Yep, lucky he doesn't take after his father." Casey smiled jokingly as she rested her head on Paul's shoulder and looked down at the innocence they held.

"Hey Case?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" she yawned.

"Want to try for one?" He whispered.

"One what?" she closed her eyes.

"A baby…want to try for another one?"

Casey's eyes flew open, "Um, I don't know, I hadn't thought about it, were still in counseling, and I think we should take one thing at a time-"

"Will you just think about it?" he asked softly interrupting her million and one excuses.

Casey smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek, "Yeah, I will."

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Elliot and Olivia laughed quietly on the porch of their home noticing that the men's cars were gone but Casey's remained. "Poor Paul didn't have a getaway car." Elliot laughed pulling Olivia close to him and kissing her softly. "I had a really nice time Liv." He smiled.

"Want to come in with me?" She smiled and wiggled her brows as if they were on a first date.

"Why Mrs. Stabler, what would your husband think?" he smiled into a kiss.

Olivia grazed her hips over his and smiled, "I don't' think he'd mind."

"Whoa" Elliot pulled away "Don't get me too happy, we got company in the house." He laughed softly as Olivia quietly opened the door incase her company was asleep, and motioned for Elliot to be quiet as well.

Olivia turned the corner of the hall to see Paul sound asleep on one couch while Casey sat Indian style on the floor in front of Isaac who was propped up in the oversized chair. Olivia smiled at Elliot as they watched their friend give Isaac his first lesson in law.

"All right Isaac," she spoke seriously as if he could comprehend her ramblings. "You want to size up your jury as best you can, and how do you do that?" she asked sounding almost as if she were expecting him to answer. Olivia smiled watching Isaac clueless and helpless face as Casey continued. "That's right," she played with his pajama laden feet. "You build the jury, if it's a female defendant try to get male jurors, if it's someone with an insanity defense you want to get people who you feel may not buy into it, you understand what I mean right?" she tilted her head to the side.

Elliot and Olivia covered there mouths in order not to laughed hysterically as Isaac fought sleep and Casey continued, "Now, when you secure a search warrant, you got to pick the right judge especially when-"

"Casey!" Olivia finally laughed out loud, "I think Isaac is a little young to learn how to secure a search warrant."

"Ha!' Casey stood taking Isaac into her embrace. "Let me tell you something Isaac, you're never to young to get a leg up on Judge Petoskey."

Elliot laughed in an effort not to wake Paul up in a start as he reached for his son. "Give me him before you scare him into becoming a defense attorney."

"How'd it go?" Olivia asked noticing that they had even cleaned up the dinner dishes.

"It was fun but Isaac wore Paul out." She laughed rubbing Paul's back lightly to wake him up.

"Oh Case, honey, I'm sorry I dozed." He sat up and adjusted his glasses.

"Dozed?" She scoffed," Your lucky there wasn't an avalanche with that snoring.

Olivia winced at Casey's cruel humor, "Ouch," but noticed that Paul took it in stride.

"Well," Paul wrapped his arm around Casey, and gave a suggesting look at Elliot, "We'd better let you too…finish up." He laughed kissing Casey on the cheek and ushering her to the door.

When the door closed Elliot smirked, "Somebody is rushing off to have sex tonight."

"Elliot!" Olivia slapped his arm then smiled, "You think those two are…ah…. tonight?"

Elliot laughed, "Oh, yeah."

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Elliot and Olivia lay in bed facing one another in their nightclothes as Isaac lay between them.

"He looks like you Liv." Elliot smiled.

"You think so, with the blond hair and blue eyes he's got going?"

"He's got your nose and bone structure, kid's gonna be a heart breaker to the ladies." Elliot laughed gently as they watched their son fight sleep. "He's even stubborn like you."

"What?" she feigned hurt.

"Yep, fights everything, even sleep." He smiled.

"I'll put him down." She laughed scooping up her precious cargo and taking him to his crib. Elliot followed her slowly knowing she would be too consumed with Isaac to notice. He leaned against the doorframe and watched as she softly laid him down and paused with a smile, before speaking, "I love you little guy."

"Liv?" he whispered as she pulled the comforter over him.

"Yeah?" she walked back to him.

"Can I ask you something?" he rested his hands on her hips.

"Sure, what's up?" she flipped the light switch off and lead him out of the room and into their own.

"What do you think about when you lay Isaac down?" he asked as they packed a diaper bag for his first day at a babysitter's that Cragen had recommended and even provided Olivia with a background check…at her request of course.

"What do you mean?" she asked tossing him a pack of pampers.

"Liv, I've watched you lay Isaac down since we brought him home and you always have that dopey look on your face." He teased her tossing the pampers that he didn't need back to her. When he realized she hadn't made an attempt to catch them he looked up and saw that her smile had faded as she folded tiny clothes and stacked them for Elliot to stow in the bag.

"Liv? Did I upset you? I didn't mean to?" he closed the distance between them, "Talk." He whispered taking the tiny socks from her hand and drawing her to the bed with him. "Don't close up Olivia." He whispered.

"Elliot," She faced him, "It's been an intense year and when I lay our baby down, I think, just for a second, that the world is okay. I think that I'm grateful you waited for me and he has a father-" her voice broke, "who isn't cruel and evil."

Elliot bowed his head unable to endure the pain that was written on her face as she spoke.

"I use to think if he knew me he would have to love me in spite of how I was conceived, then when I found him and I knew what he'd done to me, I knew he was never going to love me, it just would never happen."

"Liv? Can I ask you something hard?" he asked taking her hand.

"Yeah."

"What hurts you more? The fact that you never knew him but wanted to love him or the fact that he knew you and still didn't love you?"

"I don't know…I think they both hurt, I'm just not sure which one is more hurtful, I'm just glad Isaac has you." She leaned into him.

"I loved Isaac the minute he came onto the scene." Elliot offered a weak laugh as he felt the foreboding creep further into his soul.

A/N: REEEEEVVVVVUUUUUEEEEEE


	4. Chapter 4 I'm Sorry I Scared You

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 4 I'm Sorry I Scared You

As Olivia lay peacefully asleep, Elliot watched the figure closely as it hid in the shadows of the dark night. He squinted his eyes watching the bright amber spot move up and down with each drag of the cigarette. Elliot leaned closer to the bedroom window searching for the figure that suddenly disappeared as if it simply vanished. It wasn't until Elliot heard the slow creaking sound of the back door opening that his body tensed as the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He looked at Cracker and Jack who normally would be barking and was surprised to see them sleeping soundly on the bedding in the corner.

"Liv wake up." He hissed but she didn't move.

Elliot moved quickly to the nightstand searching for his gun that was suddenly not there. He ran his hands through his hair as he heard the slow footsteps coming down the hall, the sound of a gun being cocked registered in Elliot's ear. He moved to Olivia, shaking her quickly, but being unable to wake her. He thought it was odd she wouldn't wake but as the foot steps grew closer Elliot had no choice, he pulled the comforter over her entire body and moved himself along the wall watching as the man dressed as a dessert soldier in a tan camouflaged uniform walk slowly turning into Isaac's room with a .9mm berretta raised parallel to the floor, it's safety disengaged with the hammer pulled back.

The soldier saw Elliot and smiled as the evilness flowed through his grin and he simply continued his agonizingly slow walk into Isaac's room. Elliot shifted to the other wall and followed the soldier inside his son's room.

"Who are you!" Elliot yelled as the soldier turned his body to face Elliot and lowered his gun to Isaac as he slept peacefully in his crib.

"It's pay back Stabler." The soldier closed the gap between Isaac and the muzzle of the weapon.

"Get away from my son!" Elliot ran rushing for the soldier's gun as the blast shattered his hearing and the smell of gunpowder raped his senses.

"ISSSSSSAAAAAACCCCC!" Elliot yelled sitting straight up in the bed startling Olivia awake.

"Elliot, what is it?" She tried to reach for him but he wrenched away so violently he almost fell off of the bed.

"Isaac! Isaac!" he yelled opening the nightstand drawer and pulling out his. 9mm.

"Elliot!" Olivia yelled trying to get his attention as he moved stealthily through the bedroom and down the hall.

Olivia moved to him careful not to startle him while his weapon was drawn. She moved into Isaac's room as Elliot stood in the middle of the nursery in his boxers with his weapon drawn and his finger resting heavily against the trigger.

"Elliot." Olivia tried to speak calmly as she kept her eyes trained on her son who had since woken up and was starting to cry and Elliot's trigger finger. "Elliot, it's me, Liv."

Elliot kept his gun trained on the window as if there were something there as he sidestepped to his sons crib and felt for him. When his hand made contact with Isaac's crying body he looked down, unsure if Isaac was really there or not.

Olivia watched him closely as his thumb disengaged the hammer and slid to the left to engage the safety.

"Olivia?" His voice was hoarse and cracked. "Liv?" he spoke crying, as he lowered his weapon onto the changing table and reached for his son.

"Elliot, no." She stood between Elliot and the crib. "What is wrong?" She asked sternly as she saw his body shaking and his eyes searching the room as if it were spinning. "Elliot, look at me." She called to him over Isaac's cries, she had no choice but to leave him in the safety of his crib until she figured out what this sudden outburst from Elliot was.

"He's dead!" Elliot struggled for air.

"What?" Olivia searched his face trying to figure out his statement "Who Elliot, who's dead?"

Elliot turned sharply to the window, "The soldier killed Isaac, you didn't wake up, why didn't you wake up!" he yelled causing "Team Cracker Jack to bark.

"Elliot!" She spoke his name over the barking of the dogs and the labored crying of her son, as she reached for his face grabbing him sternly. "It was a dream Elliot….a dream." She spoke seeing the confusion and fear in his eyes slowly dissipate. "Elliot," She whispered, "Isaac is in his crib, look." She turned and picked up her now screaming son and held him securely in her arms. "It was a nightmare Elliot." She rested her hand on his chest and felt his heart racing as if it were on the verge of exploding; his body was hot and dripping in sweat as his chest heaved for air.

Elliot took a step back and took in the sight of his scared wife and terrified son and shook his head in disbelief. He rubbed his hands over his face and backed out of the room, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He whispered as he moved slowly backwards and disappeared into the hall.

Olivia soothed Isaac by humming the tune to her made up lullaby, figuring there had already been enough gun action to last Isaac until he was a toddler. Within minutes, which, felt like hours, Olivia lowered her sleeping son back into his crib and retrieved the .9mm from the changing table. She released the magazine and removed the round from the chamber before double checking and rechecking the safety. She walked slowly down the hall, not entirely sure where Elliot was and stowed his weapon next to hers in a locked drawer near the front door. She took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair before returning to the room and to Elliot.

She found Elliot sitting on the bed against the headboard with one leg extended completely and the other bent with the knee meeting his elbow that allowed his hand to support his bowed and seemingly heavy head.

"Elliot." She whispered, standing at the doorframe.

Elliot shook his head and kept his palm in his eyes in an effort to stiffen the tears, "Liv." He whispered. "I thought he killed him."

She moved to him closing the distance between the two and took his sobbing body into her arms. "Elliot, he's asleep, you saw him." She whispered stroking his back in and effort to calm him.

"I thought he killed him, he killed him, he killed him." He repeated holding her tighter with each utterance.

"Talk Elliot." She spoke into his ear and kissed his cheek softly. She was terrified having never seen Elliot in this condition. "Talk now sweetheart, what happened?" she pushed him gently away forcing him to look at her as he struggled to explain the terrifying nightmare of a soldier who murdered his son in front of him.

"It felt so real." He whispered unable to look at Olivia knowing he must have scared her.

"It's not real, our son is sleeping Elliot." She reassured him softly.

"Did I hurt him? You?" He asked her holding her forehead against his.

"No, but you scared us both pretty good." She slipped her hand over his cheek, "Were okay Elliot, he's okay, and I'm right here." She reassured him, certain she still saw confusion and fear in his eyes.

Elliot took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, gathering his composure, "I'm so sorry Olivia." She shook his head at his behavior.

"Elliot, dreams feel real sometimes, you were petrified, I understand, I've had nightmares too that feel so real that I was almost positive they happened. It's okay Elliot. Yes, that scared me and Isaac but you don't need to apologize for reacting to what you thought was seeing your son being murdered." Her eyes teared at the very thought that crossed her mind as she forced herself to speak it in order to sooth her still shaking husband.

"Go wash up, Elliot and come back to bed, it'll be okay." She pulled him up and made sure he got a couple of splashes on his face before she left the room and checked on Isaac once more. The intensity of what she had just felt seeing Elliot react in such confusion sucked the energy out of Olivia and she felt it. She returned to see Elliot slipping into the bed a look of confusion and she swore…regret was inscribed on his face and he dropped his head into the pillow and let out a long shuddering sigh. Olivia slipped in next to him and rested her head on his chest allowing her to hear his heart beat that was still unusually fast. "It's okay Elliot." She offered as a soothing notion and when she felt his body shudder in his sleep she continued to hold him and tell him she loved him. He woke up throughout the night perhaps as much if not more than Isaac, and when he did she listened to his fear as he spoke about how real it seemed that Isaac had been killed.

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Olivia woke up as the alarm sounded. It was her first day back to work since Isaac had been born and she would be operating on zero sleep. She turned the alarm off and rolled over to see Elliot curled into a fetal position, a position she had never seen him in.

"Elliot," She kissed him softly, "Honey, we have to get ready for work." She rubbed his stubbled cheek and kissed him again. "Well be late." She pulled herself out of the bed and turned to him again. "You can join me in the shower if you want."

Olivia washed her body and hair quickly and allowed several minutes to pass while she waited for Elliot, she was disappointed that he chose not to join her but she understood just the same. She was terrified last night, which meant he must have been petrified. She stepped out of the shower and towel dried her body before slipping into her panties and bra. She stepped out of the bathroom to find an empty bed. She grabbed her slacks and pulled them over her body and she threw her shirt over her arms and ran to Isaac's room where she found him sleeping peacefully in his crib.

Olivia let out a sigh and finished buttoning her blouse and tucking it in her pants. She decided to finish dressing herself before waking Isaac. After a light cover of make-up and a little finessing of the brush Olivia found herself presentable and walked to the kitchen to find a very haggard looking Elliot leaning over the counter with a cup of coffee in front of him.

"Elliot" she slipped her arms around his waist. "I love you." She affirmed him as she reached back and wrapped his arms around her drawing her into a hug.

"I'm sorry." He whispered holding her, "I don't know what happened."

"Elliot, there's nothing to be sorry for, but for now on, were keeping the guns locked, not near our bed understand?" She offered not a suggestion but as a statement that she would not back down from.

"I agree." He said kissing her softly. "I'm sorry I scared you."

"It wasn't your fault." She smiled weakly noticing he hadn't even attempted his tie. She took hold of it softly and manipulated it into a perfect knot. "You're a gorgeous man." She kissed him taking hold of his bottom lip and sucking on it lightly, not entirely sure of how he would react to her touch, but when his tongue probed her mouth she relaxed into his kiss. Elliot felt the tenderness of his wife, he understood that his son was soundly sleeping in his crib and he knew that Olivia felt no anger towards him, so why then did he feel as if was simply waiting in the eye of a storm that was threatening to break his family apart?


	5. Chapter 5 Who's Catchin?

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 5

"Who's Catchin?" Cragen soke loudly as he flipped through a file.

"I never thought I'd love to hear that again." Olivia laughed, "We are Cap."

Cragen looked at Elliot and Olivia who seemed raring to get out in the field. "Fine." He handed Olivia the file, "The vic is a woman in queens who's home was broken into and-"

"Were on it!" Olivia jumped to her feet and tossed the car keys to Elliot, "Let's move slow poke."

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Elliot waited at the red light as Olivia filled in the blank spaces of a report sheet. "Did you see the little surprise I left for you on your desk?" Elliot smiled turning the Crown Victoria left.

"Oh you mean besides the stack of month old paperwork that isn't finished…and definatley isn't mine?" she asked sarcastically with a smile.

"No, the other surprise," He joked slowing the car for a dip, "Although, I though the paperwork would be an added bonus." He offered another smile but Olivia could still see the restlessness that crept into his eyes and she wondered if it was the same restlessness that was consuming her. She reached her left hand out and took hold of his in an effort to calm him. "Yeah, I saw th epitucre of you and Isaac…I love that picture." She smiled remembering whe she snapped the picture as he slept with his son in his arms.

"See El, if you would start your paperwork at the beginning of the case and not the end, you wouldn't have those huge piles." She laughed recapping her pen after she completed the begingin stages of the report for the case they would be working on today.

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't be able to see that vein pop out of your forehead when you give me your disapproving look." He joked back as he pulled the car along the curb and stopped it behind two uniform cars. "You ready to get back in the game?" he asked her looking at the sea of officers outside of the house.

"Can't wait." She said sarcastically. While Olivia loved her job she hated questioning victims and making them relive their nightmares.

Olivia brandished her badge to get through the front door knowing it would be swarming with CSU and uniforms that would have no clue how to comfort someone. Olivia spotted a young woman with a tear streak face and suspected her to be a victim but called for a uniform to fill her in.

"Tell me what I just walked into." She told the young cop as Elliot allowed his eyes to wonder around the livingroom gathering information.

"Samantha Ficina, Caucasian, 32. Looks like she was beat up pretty good, her husband was already taken to the hospital."

Olivia shook her head in thanks and then turned to approach the young woman who sat huddeled on her couch. "Hi," Olivia said in a low voice that was both compassionate and strong. "I'm detective Benson, this is my partner Detective Stabler." She introduced him by pointing to him with the same hand that held her hand. He smiled sympathetically but stood off to the side preferring to observe the interaction Olivia had with the Victim.

"Samantha, can you tell me what happened?" Olivia asked poised to write as the young woman took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face.

"I came home and found my husband on the floor in the den, there was so much blood I thought he was dead" she shook her head as if her mind were an etch N sketch and she could simply remove the image she'd seen.

"Who called 911?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know, when I saw Mitch layhing there, I just remember screaming and then this tremendous pain in my head." She finished in a whisper as she bowed her head unable to make eye contact with Olivia.

Olivia took a breath bracing for the next question, "Samantha, did he rape you?"

Samantha looked at Olivia and forced herself to speak albiet in a whisper, "I don't know...when i woke up my face looked like this." she said motioning to the bruises that were already showing and her split lip that Olivia knew must hurt with each syllabal she spoke.

"Is there anything unique to your attacker? A smell? Did he say anything, do anything unusual?" Olivia asked and then regretted her last question.

"Other than rape me?" Samantha asked coldly.

"I'm sorry Samantha, I didn't mean that, it's just important that you tell us anything...no matter how small." Olivia touched the woman gently in hopes of regaining any trust she may have lost with her last coment.

"I already told you, I don't remember anything." She whispered and then sobbed.

"Is there anything missing from your home? Jewlery, laptop an-"

Olivia was cut off by the faint whisper that emmitted from Samantha's lips, "My baby."

"Excuse me?" Olivia was taken back, the uniform hadn't mentioned anything about a baby. "What baby?" She asked as Elliot walked through the hallway looking for a nursery or any evidence that an infant had in fact occupied the home.

Samantha stood and retrieved a picture fram from the fire place mantel, "this is Joshua, he just turned six months old." She offered a weak smile, and sat next to Olivia again. "Why'd they take him?" She sobbed into Olivia's arms.

Olivia tried to sooth Samatha's shaking body as she held her, "I don't know honey, that's what we got to find out."

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Olivia leaned against her desk and stared at eh pictures that were taped to a portable chalk board. _A young mom beaten, a father hospitalized and a baby that's vanished_. She thought to herself as she brainstormed the case and gathered information into her memory. Olivia had made it a habit to memorize every detail she possibly could for each case, the problem with her meathod was that with all the memorized information she was often tormented at night with nightmares and insomnia, still, it was a sacrifice she was willing to make in order to bring a small amount of peace to a victim.

"Gather around guys!" Elliot announced as he walked through the bullpen waving a folder over his head. "I got the CSU report."

Olivia stood and peered over his shoulder as he started to tape photos onto the chalk board.

She examined them closely as Fin approached.

"What do we got?" Fin asked adjusting a cufflink he seemed to be having a problem with all morning.

"Just your garden variety nut." Munch chimed in taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well," Elliot stepped back observing his collage, "there's not a whole lot." He pointed to the pictures as he spoke, "We've got a foot print with no tread pattern, every surface in the home is wiped clean, no hairs found in the house." He leaned up against his desk shaking his head, "Rape kit found evidence of spermicide but no seaman."

"She _was_ raped." Olivia's eyes widened as she starred at the picture of Samantha and knew that life as the young woman once knew it, would never be the same again.

"What about the baby?" Munch asked, "Any thing special that might require a doctor's visit?"

"Mother says that hes a perfectly happy little boy who likes his pacifier." Olivia said shaking her head. Why was it that people always preyed on the defenseless ones. "This guy knew what he was doing." Olivia said addressing the board again. "No hair, no fingerprints, laying in wait, he even thought to take the baby's diaper bag according to the mom."

"Maybe, the perp will get tired of a crying kid and drop him off somewhere?" Fin offered.

"No," Elliot shook his head, "No, you don't take a diaper bag unless your planning on having that kid for awhile...the question is, how long?"

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"Thankyou so much Mrs. Reynoso." Elliot smiled reaching for his son.

"We couldn't do this with our your help, your a life saver!" Olivia smiled embracing the older woman.

"Well," the woman smiled placing her hand on Olivia's cheek, "Any friend of Cragen, is a friend of mine, he talks about your both so highly." She squeezed Olivia's hand, "I'm glad he has you as his family."

Mrs. Reynoso gathered a few belongings of Isaac's and placed them in his diaper bag, "He is such a sweet boy, and so handsome." She chuckeled to herself and looked at Olivia who had since confiscated Isaac from her husband's arms. "He's got good genes." She smiled.

Olivia looked up quickly, "Excuse me?" she whispered.

"Well look at you two," the woman laughed touching Elliot with one hand and Olivia with the other, "Your both beautiful, makes since you would have such a striking boy." Olivia fought to keep her composure, there was something about hearing that she passed on 'good genes' that almost made her cry. She smiled softly, "Thankyou."

"I only speak the truth," she laughed escorting the family to the front door, "I'll see all of your pretty faces tomorrow."

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Olivia rocked Isaac slowly as she allowed him to suckel from her breast. Elliot had hit the shower as soon as he entered the house and promised to watched Isaac when Olivia was ready to shower. She smiled listening to her son's breathing pattern as he greedily took sustenance from his mother.

Olivia took another shot at the lulyby book flipping throught the pages and reading to herself as the gental hum of the shower sounded in the background. After passing through several disturbing lullybys and nursery rhymes she placed the book down, "just wrong." She muttered and then realized that Isaac had stopped suckeling and fallen asleep.

"Liv," Elliot whispered, "Shower's yours." he smiled taking the baby's sleeping body from her protective grasp.

"Good, burping duty is yours." she laughed and kissed Elliot softly on the mouth. "I'll be back in five."

Since Isaac had been born Olivia had gotten her shower time down to just under four minutes. She laughed feeling as thought it were like being in the academy again, always pressed for time. The truth was she didn't want to miss anymore time than necessary. She was greatful that the department kept her on 'bankers hours' and would continued to do so until Isaac was one, but being away from him for eight hours almost killed her. She was positive she would run out of minutes on her cellphone as many times as she called Mrs. Reynoso to check on Isaac. The woman was a patient woman and Olivia was thankfull.

Olivia dried herself haphazardly and pulled on a pair of boyshorts and camisole, happy she could fit into her clothes again. She walked down the hall and stopped hearing Elliot's voice as he talked to Isaac.

"I'm telling you son, I almost died when your mom walked into the station house the first time." His voice was happy but soft.

Olivia tiptoed lightly and peeked into the room seeing him bent over the crib smiling, "She, looked at me...and then kept on walkin'. Your uncle Munch told me I didn't have a chance, and I got to tell you son, I didn't think I did but, after only five years of begging her to go out with me...I won her over." he laughed. "What can I say kid, your father's a charming man." Elliot rubbed Isaac's tummy, "but your mom," Elliot's voice was much more serious, "She's amazing." Elliot lowered his head and kissed Isaac softly, "See you in two hours hungry boy."

Olivia sidestepped hiding herself from Elliot's vision. She heard the lightswitch flip off and saw the lights go black. "Elliot," She whispered pulling him by his tie, "that was a pretty cool story." she smiled kissing him, Elliot wrapped his arms around her waist and pushed her against the wall. "Whoa, little anxious huh?" She whispered smiling.

"Little." He stared at her as he grazed his hand up her naked thigh and over her clothed pelvis and further North he went extending his hand under her camisole and finally reaching her breast. He massaged them gently, knowing she was still sore from breastfeeding and took her top lip into his mouth.

"Elliot-" she gasped out his name as she felt his hand caress her backside as he slid it into her boyshorts.

"Can I help you?" he smiled grinding his hips into her and watching her arch her neck to the ceiling exposing her neck and allowing Elliot to fondel it with his mouth.

"Isaac." she reminded him that their son lay less than twenty feet from them.

Elliot inseted another hand into her underwear and kneaeded the flesh his hands found. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" He asked her taunting her. Elliot was fully aware that while she may have had the best focus while at work that he'd ever seen from a detective, but when he made love to her, she couldn't compose a logical thought to save her life and Elliot relished in the fact that he could fluster Olivia, that he could bring her to climax.

"Um..." She tried to think as he pulled the shorts down, "I...um"

"Did you forget?" he smiled devilishly as he rubbed his finger through her wettness causing her skin to flush.

"Um, yeah." She braced her arms against his chest as he created deeper and deeper sensations.

Olivia kissed him stoking his tongue with her own, "We can't." She whispered as she kissed him more. And moved her hand to unbuckel his belt.

"Oh," Elliot covered her hand, "I guess I should stop then." he stepped back and smiled but was surprised that she pulled him back to her and whispered, "I don't like you in clothes."

Elliot took off his pants...painstakingly slow, so much in fact that after the zipper was down Olivia helped him along until his naked body was rubbing against her own. "This is crazy." She panted feeling him rub his erection flush against her.

"What?" He smiled picking her up off the floor and allowing her to wrap her legs around him.

"Isaac, is asleep." She smiled as he pushed her to the wall and allowed her to lower herself onto him. She gasped at the new postion, the new feeling of having his arms support her entire body as he thrust into her plastering her back against the wall. She moaned loudly feeling him caress her back as he pulled down on her shoulders forcing himself deeper. "Elliot," She moaned but was stopped when he covered his mouth with a finger.

"Isaac's sleeping." he smiled watching her face as she closed her eyes focusing on his movements.

"Thats...my point." She gasped as he took hold of her nipple through her shirt and forcing her to moan even louder.

"Then I suggest, you not wake him up." he smiled moving further still inside of her.

"I can't...promise anything." She moaned into his shoulder trying to muffel her sounds. He laughed and finaly gave into her. He allowed her take control using his forearm for leverage as she rode him. He stabled himself with the other as he walked back to their bedroom feeling her body slide up and down his happy erection.

Elliot layed her on the bed and moved harder and then softer once her moans increased. "Good...to have...you back...today Liv." he told her in between thrust.

She brought her hands over his back, "I wanted...to pull you in the closet today." she whispered and then moaned as he thrust to her womb. She raised her leg gently and plowed further still feeling her muscels contact.

"I'm coming Liv." She said hoarsely, "I need too."

"Go," She responded back knowing she would explode with him as well. He pulled her body up moving deeper as she wrapped her legs and arms around him as she rode his lap. Her body shuddered and contracted with his last thrust as she took his lips into her mouth and felt him shudder inside of her.

"Did we just do that in the hallway?" she laughed as he wrapped her up in his arms.

"Um yeah, I'm pretty sure we did." he kissed her head.

"So, are you still stressed?" she laughed rubbing his chest.

"Um, no...but you exhausted me."

"Seriously Elliot," She propped her head up on her palm, "Are you okay? I know that dream really did something to you."

Elliot took a deep breath and pulled Olivia closer, "Interesting case today huh?"

"Yeah," She agreed, "And your changing the subject."

"I'm okay Liv." His eyes told her he was lying. She saw confussion and dare she say...fear?

"Why are you scared Elliot?" she whispered.

"Scared?" he pretended not to understand.

"Elliot, I barely mentioned it and your body started to shake." she rand her hand over his short hair.

_Hell yes I'm scared Olivia, something is outrageously wrong and I can't put my finger on it! _His mind yelled but he offered her something different. "It was just a dream, I'm good."


	6. Chapter 6 The Unfolding

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 6 The Unfolding

After waking at two O'clock in the morning to feed a now six-month-old Isaac, Olivia found herself unable to sleep. She poured herself a glass of tea and headed into the office of her home to review case files. She was happy that Isaac usually slept through the night waking, for some reason only at two for a feeding and then staying asleep the rest of the night.

Olivia pulled out the first case file that belonged to Samantha Ficina…and then six more that belonged to other victims of the same crime. All women were beaten and raped and there children stolen from their homes. Samantha Ficina's husband Mitch died after two weeks on life support. She flipped through page after page of notes; some were from Munch and Fin while the others were from her and Elliot. In each case the forensic evidence was the same, in that there wasn't any.

Olivia stared at the pictures of the seven women that hung on the whiteboard. She leaned back in her chair and simply stared allowing her mind to brainstorm. The only connection they had found over the last three months was the fact that all of the women in question were successful, educated and attractive with beautiful babies. The perp was most likely right handed based on the bruising patterns on the victim's bodies.

_Seven? Why did you just stop at seven_? She asked her self. There had been no action from the perp in the last two weeks and while Olivia had hoped he was done, she had also wondered why he suddenly stopped. Serial rapist weren't known to stop, they were known to evolve and get worse.

Olivia turned to the computer screen moving the mouse to activate the screen. She had found that could be one of the most unique and easily accessible tools she could use when investigating crime. She typed in the search parameter, "Meaning of the number seven" and hit enter.

Olivia took a drink of the tea and clicked on the first site listed. She read out loud to herself as she poured over countless pages of internet ramblings, "Odd number…prime number…blah blah blah blah blah" She rubbed her eyes feeling them burning and then suddenly narrowed them on the last definition the site had given. Meaning 54: The Biblical Number of Completion and/or Perfection.

_Cult? Religious freak? If so, then why the rape and brutal beatings?_ She printed the information and reviewed the case files a little closer looking for anything by way of religion. There was none and she knew there wouldn't be, it's not a standard question she would ask a rape victim, there's just usually no need, although she scolded herself for not asking and then tried to rationalize not asking because she didn't know that was what they would be looking for. It was getting late.

Olivia glanced at the clock, and moaned, she had been up for nearly two hours, which was going to make for a tormenting morning. With a few clicks she put the computer in hibernate and placed the case files back in her workbag before checking on Isaac.

She tiptoed into the nursery careful of the floorboard that had developed a creaking sound. When she was satisfied he was still sleeping she returned to the master bedroom, walking suddenly faster when she heard what sounded like Elliot's moans in the bathroom.

"El?" she called, walking hesitantly into the bathroom. "You okay?" she knew he wasn't when she saw his pajama-laden body hunched over the toilet, his body contracting with each of his body's attempts to clear his stomach. It had become a common site seeing Elliot in this position in the middle of the night and it pained her that there was nothing she could do about it. The doctor's attributed it to stress, she attributed it to the same reoccurring nightmare of the soldier he kept having.

Olivia kneeled next to her husband in the same loving manner he had done when she was having morning sickness. She stroked his back in silence as she felt his muscles contracting for another upheaval. She offered him a towel and helped his weak body to his feet. Elliot was a muscular man standing 5'8 at 180 pounds but since the dreams kept stalking him in the night his body barely tipped the scales at 160. His eyes were sunken in with dark circles, and in spite of the smiles he forced, and in spite of the strength he showed for Olivia, she often heard him crying in his sleep, or found him sitting in the rocking chair of Isaac's room in the middle of the night staring blankly at Isaac as he slept.

"Nightmare again?" She asked as he leaned against the bathroom counter.

He offered her no reply but simply shook his head as she extended his toothbrush with a bead of paste on it, to him. He leaned over the counter and brushed slowly as he stared at nothing. Olivia leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom and took a deep breath knowing the suggestion she was going to make was going to start an argument.

"Elliot, you don't look well." She spoke softly, "Maybe you should go see a doctor."

"Liv-" He spat the toothpaste in the sink and turned the water on to erase the residue. "I have, three times, and they say the same thing…stress, it comes with the job, you know that." He offered her the simple explanation.

"Elliot," She stepped closer and stoked his arm, "I meant Dr. Huang." She felt his body tense at her suggestion and she prepared herself quickly for the argument that was coming.

"You want me to talk to the department shrink?" He narrowed his eyes at her a look of disbelief on his face as he whispered, "You think I'm loosing my mind?"

"No, I-"

"You don't think I'm loosing my mind but you want me to see a shrink?" he asked incredulously as he walked passed her and into the openness of the bedroom.

_Well Liv, here's round one_. She thought to herself. "Elliot, have you seen yourself in the mirror? You look terrible." Her voice was compassionate not critical.

"I'm fine!" he growled careful of his voice, they had both agreed that they wouldn't yell at one another but speaking through a tightly clenched jaw had the same effect it seemed.

"Oh, well it's good to know that puking your guts out three times a week is fine." She folded her arms digging in her heels, if it took all night to convince him, she was going to be staying up.

"Liv…stop" he pointed to her as he moved away.

"No." she responded simply, knowing she was digging her own hole.

"I don't need a shrink." He said lowering his achingly thin body onto the bed.

"Why do you keep having this dream then?" she asked hoping to take the logical route.

Elliot shook his head unable to give her a reason. She sat beside him, "Elliot, I'm worried about you."

"Don't be."

"Don't be!" she asked clearly insulted. "I'm your wife."

Elliot finally had enough of the conversation a broke, "And maybe your should reconsider that!" he closed his eyes immediately feeling the regret of having yelled at her and knowing that what he meant to say was not what came out.

Olivia stood to her feet backing away as she spoke slowly and deliberately struggling to not let her hurt and anger show, "First of all don't you dare raise your voice at me Elliot." She clenched her jaw, she knew he didn't mean what he'd said but whatever was happening in his mind was clearly taking its toll; it was one thing for them to raise their voices in opinion of a case but never during a personal argument.

"Liv I'-"

"Secondly," She cut him off, "I have never once regretted marring you." Her voice cracked half out of hurt the other half out anger, "I know your hurting Elliot, I don't know why, but that doesn't change the fact that I hear you cry at night" she lowered her voice and positioned herself in front of him forcing him to look at her, "I feel the way you hold onto me at night…like your scared I'm going to leave you, I don't know why you can't talk to me about it, but if you can't talk to me you need to see Huang, I don't want to see you keep hurting." She wiped the single tear that fell from Elliot's storm tossed face. "When you want to talk, I'm right here."

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Elliot took a deep breath, knocking on the office door of Dr. George Huang and opening after he was instructed to.

"You got a sec?" Elliot asked casually.

George Huang narrowed his eyes at Elliot, knowing full well he hated psychiatrists, "Sure, what case are we looking at today?"

"Apparently, mine." Elliot bowed his head, "Liv, wanted me to come talk to you."

"About?" Huang asked motioning for Elliot to take a seat.

"Look, I really don't want to be here-"

"Then why are you here?"

Elliot looked at George suspiciously, "I just told you, Liv wanted me too."

"Elliot, you can't fix a problem of yours for the sake of someone else." Huang said leaning back in his chair and looking at Elliot. The strong man that once stood intimidating looked more like a cancer ravished patient.

Elliot bent over in his chair and rubbed his face, he was exhausted and feeling every excruciating second of it. "I yelled at Liv last night."

"How did she respond to that?" Huang asked fully aware that while the ranting of a perp couldn't shake Olivia, the slightly raised voice of those close to her could wreak havoc.

"I don't know, she controlled herself as much as possible but I know I hurt her." He sighed staring at the Dr. Freud post card on Huang's desk. _Why do shrinks have crap like that_? He asked himself.

"Why are you making this visit about her?" Huang decided to circumvent Elliot's decision to beat around the bush.

"Excuse me?" Elliot spoke irritated.

"You told me this was about you then suddenly it became about Liv, why?" Huang asked.

"Because it is about Liv!" Elliot barked.

"How so?" Huang asked unphased.

"I keep having this dream that someone is killing Isaac." Elliot spoke softly, purposefully leaving out the description of the soldier.

"You're a new parent Elliot, it's a common thing to be concerned for your son, have you talked to Olivia about it?"

"Yes, she knows about the dream, but she wants to know why I keep having it." He shook his head.

"Why do you keep having it?" Huang asked matter of factly.

"Isn't that your job?" Elliot snapped.

"I'm just curious why you think-"

Elliot stood to his feet yelling, "Because I don't deserve them! That's why!"

"Why?"

"Why?" Elliot seethed, "Why do you keep asking me all of these damn questions!"

"Elliot, sit down, I'm not your enemy." Huang offered a smile.

Elliot flopped his body back down in the seat and exhaled. "What?" he whispered.

"Who don't you deserve Elliot." Huang asked bringing Elliot back on track.

"Isaac…Liv." He furrowed his brows choosing his words carefully.

"Why?"

Elliot looked at Huang and stood slowly, keeping his anger barely contained. He pointed to Huang as he walked out, "This was a mistake."

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Elliot stared at the picture of Olivia and Isaac on his desk. He loved the picture of her holding Isaac in the hospital. She scolded him for having it on his desk citing her appearance as offending. _You'll hate me when you know_. He thought to himself as he stared at her smiling face. _You'll take our son and leave_.

"Elliot!" Olivia snapped her fingers and smiled. "How was La La Land?" she giggeled.

Elliot forced a smile and playful tone, "Always lonely without you Liv."

"I want to run something by you." She told him retrieving a notepad from her jacket and leaning closer to him whispering, "How was the doc?"

Elliot shook his head and lied through his teeth, "Great, it helped you were right."

"Good…now look at this." She pointed to various notes she had made the night before. "I looked up the interpretations of the number seven, did you know it's the biblical number of completion?"

"Okay…" He offered waiting for more of an explanation.

"Well, what if the motive, is that this is some twisted religious undertaking." She suggested.

"What's your theory?"

"Let's re interview the victims, find out their religious backgrounds, church attendance and whether or not they're…secure in their faith." She arched her brows.

"You think this might be a punishment for not practicing what they preach?"

"Maybe, maybe not, but it's the only thing I can think of." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Sounds good to me, split the list with Munch and Fin?"

"Yeah, I'll tell the Cap.

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"Alex, it's Liv." Olivia plugged one ear as she spoke on the phone it rush hour traffic.

"Ha, sounds like your stuck in traffic." Alex laughed hearing the blaring horns.

"Yeah, I need a huge favor." Olivia asked bracing her hand against the dash as Elliot slammed the brakes in an effort not to hit the car in front of him.

"Shoot."

"We just re interviewed some victims and I'm not going to make it in time to pick up Isaac can-"

"Say no more I love watching that little boy when I can. Five O'clock right?" Alex confirmed and ensured Olivia that Isaac is always a pleasure to be with.

"Alex you saved us again thank you so much. I'll see you as soon as I can."

"Take your time, Isaac's the only company I get these days." Alex laughed, "I'll cya Liv."

Olivia tucked her cell phone in her jacket and began reviewing the notes as Elliot negotiated the traffic. "You know," she smiled, "We are so lucky to have the friends that we do or we would be screwed."

"Yeah." Elliot agreed without purpose.

"Elliot? How did the appointment with Dr. Huang really go?" she closed her note pad and looked at him.

"Liv," he forced a smile and took hold of her hand, "I told you, it really helped."

Olivia turned her head looking out the window trying to discern the cause of the traffic jam, while she spoke, "Your lying to me."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, ya are."

"Liv-"

"Elliot, I'm not going to push, I just want you to be honest with me. I'm not asking what's bothering you, I'm just asking if you're any better than last night." She searched his face, "That's all."

"I'm better Liv." In comparison to what he wasn't sure, but he offered her what she needed to hear just the same.

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"Alright, what do we got?" Cragen bellowed as Olivia and Elliot walked into the bullpen. She eyed the clock not wanting to strap Alex with Isaac too long she addressed the group first, "We got all three females going to Victory Community Church, one is in attendance every Sunday the others are apart of a support group."

"Support group for what?" Fin asked.

"They wouldn't say." She shook her head. Olivia was always frustrated when victims tried to stonewall the investigation, but she certainly understood why, people don't like to be completely exposed she knew she didn't.

"Then this must be our link," Fin said flipping through his notes and grabbing a piece of chalk to write, "All the vics we interviewed are either apart of the church currently or separated from the church."

"Wait," Elliot interjected, "Why'd they separate?"

"Not _they_" Fin pointed to a picture of the third victim, "_She_." He emphasized, "Gina Fairbanks, she said that the leader of the group gave her the creeps."

"Well, did she say why?" Olivia fidgeted with her empty weapon holster, she probably didn't realize she does it, but Elliot smiled, she was always ready to hunt a perp…always.

"Nope, just said she left when he asked for a picture of her son." Fin crossed his arms watching Munch approach with a ridiculous grin on his face.

"Well boys and girl, I can't tell you why he wants a picture of the kid but I can tell you why our vics aren't so forthcoming about the support group."

The team looked expectantly at Munch as he smiled, "Hey, didn't your mama teach you to share?" Fin barked irritated.

"The support group is for people leaving the glamorous life of prostitution."

"How'd you find that out?" Cragen asked shocked and not exactly sure he'd heard correctly.

"Phonebook." Munch responded smugly.

"Phonebook?" Elliot folded his arms.

"Yeah, looked up the church, called and asked what ministries they offered, the lady was very helpful." Munch peered over his glasses and smiled.

"So what do we have then?" Olivia asked questioning the information. "The perp either runs or attends the group and targets the women with children?" Olivia shook her head.

"You're not buying it?" Cragen asked her, "What are you thinking Liv?"

"Well, there are two things that don't make sense."

"Enlighten us." Fin said folding his arms and focusing his attention on her questions.

"Well, all of these woman are educated and successful, so, why the prostitution? And secondly, if the perp is some religious nut, what's he want with the kids?" she finished by writing and underlining the words' prostitution' and 'kids' with a question mark next to each on the board.

"Well, when you say educated, what are we talking about?" Munch asked.

Olivia opened her note book, "My vics have everything from an A.A degree to a M.A., what about yours?"

"All with high school diplomas except one with a B.A. in liberal studies." Fin read from his note pad.

"Wait, now that doesn't fly." Elliot interjected, "These women have money and nice houses, you don't get that in New York with a high school diploma…what's the deal on the husbands?" Elliot asked flipping through a case file.

"Mitch Ficina," He said searching the page, "Was a banker." He wrote that on the chalkboard, "Someone read me the other husbands' occupations."

"CEO of Lance Plastics," Munch called out.

Olivia scanned a file, "Trust fund baby and corporate engineer."

Elliot wrote the occupations under each victim's photo, as they were read out to him, "Real Estate."

"Lawyer."

"Electrical engineer."

"And the last one is…" Munch spoke as if he were waiting for a drum roll.

"Spit it out old man." Fin scolded him,

"Stock broker."

"That's the motive then." Olivia stood motioning to the board as she explained her theory, "Check it out, all women, were involved in prostitution, they get their lives together and marry successful men. They seek counseling but don't want their secret exposed so where better to go than a church counseling session? It's not only free, so there's no paper trail back to the husbands but what type of person is going to infiltrate a church to expose someone's dirty secret?"

"And they don't want to loose the husband-" Elliot started

"Or his money, so they stay quiet." Munch finished

"I can buy that." Cragen agreed, "But what about the kids?"

Olivia raised her hands, "Hell if I know Cap."


	7. Chapter 7 Stabler Unravels

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 7 Stabler Unravels

"Liv! Come in, Isaac is sleeping." Alex smiled opening the door to allow Olivia to enter.

"Sorry it took so long." Olivia exhaled deeply as she ran her hand through her hair.

"Not a problem, Isaac and I sat around and did absolutely nothing but watch Court TV." She laughed offering Olivia a water.

"You missin' the courtroom Alex?" Olivia asked sitting at the table and opening the bottle.

"No…yes…I love my job, it's just that teaching the 'Zoophonics' alphabet over and over isn't as stimulating as battling it out in the courtroom." Alex sighed, "But I love having stable hours and weekends off where I'm not preparing long drawn out arguments so I suppose it balances out." She shrugged her shoulders and then narrowed her sights at Olivia.

"What's with the long face Liv?" Alex asked leaning onto the table.

Olivia took a deep breath and took a drink of her water, "Nothing really, I guess, I'm just a little stressed out right now…a case."

"Ah, see, that's the kind of stress I don't miss." Alex laughed and then steadied herself noticing Olivia's expression.

"Alright, Liv, what's really wrong?" Alex asked in a welcoming tone knowing it could be tough for Olivia to open up.

Olivia bit her lip, "Um, Elliot and I got in a fight last night."

"Ah, I see…you two doing okay?" Alex took a drink of her water.

"Yeah, I'm pretty confidant we are but he said something that really bothered me and I'm not exactly sure what he meant." Olivia rubbed her the back of her neck, "I'm sure he didn't mean it but that certainly didn't soften the blow." She exhaled.

"Have you been able to talk about it with him?"

"I'm scared to, he's going through something that he wont let me in on and I don't want to add more stress to his life." Olivia offered knowing that she just flat out wanted to avoid another argument.

"Well it'll come up one way or another and it's a lot less explosive if you bring it up before it brings itself up." Alex smiled as if she were speaking from experience.

Olivia was ready to offer up a counter argument when she heard Isaac's waking cries. "Ah, looks like I better get a move on, I'm not sure when Elliot is coming home," she spoke thankful Isaac had saved her from the rest of the impending conversation. "And this little guy needs a bath." She laughed pulling him into his embrace. "How much do I owe you Alex?"

"What! I'm insulted, I love having that kid here, don't even think about it and don't hesitate to call me again." Alex smiled offering the diaper bag to Olivia.

Olivia took Alex into a side hug and squeezed her tightly, "I'm so blessed to have you back."

Alex laughed, "Yeah you are!"

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Olivia cradled a cup of chocolate in her hands as she sat silently on the couch after laying Isaac down for the night. She turned the television on and muted the sound in order to let her thoughts wonder. _Maybe you should reconsider that! _The words mulled over in her mind. _Why would I want to? This is the happiest I've been my entire life_. She rested her head on her palm and balanced the mug on her bent knee. She didn't know exactly why Elliot was going through such a terrible time. He had seemed elated when Isaac was born; she smiled remembering how she had to practically pry the baby out of his arms when he insisted the baby sleep with them. It wasn't that she didn't like being with Isaac, she just didn't want him to get use to being in bed with mom and dad.

Olivia shook her head knowing she had been just as stubborn and just as wounded as he seemed to be in his current situation. She also knew that it was Elliot's patient love that allowed her to finally break down. She took a sip of her chocolate and wondered how long their rough spot would last. Her thoughts were broken when she heard the front door open and Elliot fumbling, trying to be as quiet as possible as he stored his shoes and weapon.

Elliot saw the blue glow from the muted TV and called softly, "Liv?"

"Yeah," She responded with equal softness but made no attempt to move from her space, she felt a tinge of anger flow through her at the sound of his voice. But when she saw his wounded eyes, it quickly subsided and was replaced with compassion.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked loosening his tie and rolling his sleeves up

"Sure," She settled her mug on the coffee table and drew a pillow over her legs that were tangled into an Indian style position. "What's on your mind?"

Elliot sat next to her, "I owe you an apology."

"For what?" She asked forcing him to say it, to verbalize his mistake.

"I'm so sorry I snapped at you last night." He said taking hold of her hand and searching her face. He could tell from her pooling eyes that he had hurt her deeply. "I'm sorry I told you to reconsider being my wife, the truth is that I would loose my mind if I couldn't come home to you every night."

"That really hurt Elliot." She whispered looking down at they're tangled fingers.

Elliot shook his head exhaling a breath, "I can only imagine, please forgive me Liv."

Olivia turned her face away gathering her reasons as to why she had the right to be angry and why she needed to forgive him. She weighed them carefully before responding, "You're absolutely forgiven," she whispered and cleared her throat in an effort to find a stronger voice, "but, can I ask you something?"

"Go for it." He narrowed his eyes, focusing on her, thankful for her willingness to forgive but equally worried about the impending question.

"When I'm hurting, your so patient and compassionate with me, and you force me to open up to you, but when things get rough on your end, you call our marriage into question…why?" She searched his face expecting to see his mind frantically working to backpedal and begin damage control, she found nothing of that.

Elliot bowed his head and readjusted him self on the couch. "Liv," his voice was almost inaudible as he swallowed, "I'm scared."

Olivia furrowed her brows not exactly sure she wanted to know the answer to her next question, she asked it anyway, "Of being with me?"

"No, I love being with you." He held her hand tighter. "I'm scared that you're going to leave me."

"Elliot, you make me smile everyday, you make me forget that I was once a miserable person who never wanted to love or expected to be loved. I'd never leave you." She whispered caressing his cheek and forcing him to look at her. "What's eating you up? Talk to me…Please."

"I don't deserve Isaac and I especially don't deserve you." He furrowed his brows in an effort to keep his emotions in check.

"What? Why would you say that?" She asked careful to keep her voice from sounding harsh.

"Liv, I've done something…" he bowed his head, "that you don't necessarily know about."

Olivia's eyes widened, _Oh crap_! She thought but forced herself not to flinch or withdraw her touch. "Elliot, I hate to burst your bubble, but there is absolutely nothing you can do to make me leave you." Olivia took his hand into hers, "Your shaking." She whispered and moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm not going anywhere." She separated from him and kissed his lips softly, not allowing herself to engage him completely, not wanting to change the subject but wanting him to understand her commitment, "I'm ready to listen if your ready to talk."

"Olivia," he cleared his throat, "You know the dream I keep having?"

"The soldier and Isaac, yeah I remember, did you have it again?" she asked hoping it would be as easy as this dream but knowing it was something far greater…completely darker.

"Yeah," he bit his bottom lip, wondering how it was possible that he had acquired Olivia's nervous reaction.

"Why does this dream consume you Elliot?" she asked not expecting a correct answer but wanting him to simply talk.

"In the dream there's a soldier, and he's in his battle dress uniform," Elliot took in a deep breath, "When I first had the dream I couldn't tell who the soldier was, but the more the dream reoccurred, I could start to see more evidence of who this man was."

"What did you see?"

"He was a Marine and after he shot…" Elliot paused unable to process the thought of his son being murdered. "I rushed him and when we hit the ground I was starring at me." She felt his grip on her hand loosen and she grabbed him tighter.

Olivia processed what Elliot was telling her as his eyes pooled with tears, her voice was choked with her own emotion finally realizing what Elliot was telling her, "You were the soldier."

Elliot shook his head confirming her statement but unable to look at his wife.

"Elliot, that soldier isn't you." She ran her hand through his short hair and traced his tense shoulders stopping at his chest. His heart seemed to be beating as if it were sustaining life for an entire nation.

"Yes it is." He responded shaking his head. "I killed him, I warned him and he wouldn't listen." Elliot tried to flee the couch but was held firm by Olivia's grasp.

"Elliot, I don't understand what you're telling me." She positioned herself digging her knees into the sofa and embracing him tightly kissing his forehead. "What are you telling me?"

Elliot took hold of her waist resting his head on her abdomen as he cried softly, "I was only twenty when I got orders to go to Dessert Storm."

Olivia closed her eyes knowing that what she was about to hear was probably something that Elliot had never spoken about in years, she prepared herself mentally knowing it was going to be another long night. She whispered holding him tightly, "Tell me what happened."

Elliot offered her freedom from his grasp and she released hers slightly but insisted on touching him and allowing him to touch her, she needed to let him know she was there no matter what he was going to tell her.

"We were coming into what we thought was friendly territory when snipers started firing." Elliot closed his eyes leaning back into the couch, "They train us to be killing machines, to kill without hesitation."

Olivia let him speak at his own pace, offered him time to gather his thoughts, his face was tense as if he was reliving one of the most traumatic parts of his life and she had a feeling he was.

"We took cover where we could find it and we ended up being separated from the rest of the pack, Velasquez followed me closely, I could feel his hand on my back as we moved through an alley, I heard a shot and then his hand wasn't there, I could feel his blood on my neck and I knew he was dead."

"All wars have casualties Elliot, even the best soldiers and marines die." Olivia offered her words but knew they were useless in comparison to what he was feeling.

"I think it was Sorino who took out the first sniper. We moved in quick and I remember another shot and the marine to my left falling…I ran into the house that was just across the way, the women were yelling and I couldn't understand them." He shook his head in disbelief, she didn't know if it was disbelief of the situation or of the pain and confusion he was expressing.

"Suddenly this boy is pointing an AK-47 at me."

"I raised my weapon and yelled at him to stop, he stared at me completely fearless." Elliot whispered starring into the cushion of the couch. "The women kept screaming and screaming and my finger was on the trigger and I yelled and yelled at the boy to put his gun down and he stepped closer." He exhaled deeply rubbing his swollen eyes.

"Elliot-"

"Liv," he cut her off forcing himself to keep talking, "He pointed the gun at me and when he took the third step and chambered the round" Elliot's voice was reduced to a harsh whisper, "I pulled the trigger."

"Your life was in danger," she offered him reasoning, "you reacted."

"He was ten." Elliot rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands, "Manjeet Arafin, was ten."

Olivia wrapped her arms around him again, she had no words to sooth him, no wisdom to offer him to make the pain go away and so she offered him what she knew, "I love you and I'm still here."

"I don't want to hurt Isaac." He whispered.

Olivia suddenly put the whole situation into perspective; somehow Elliot had made the conclusion that by shooting a boy during war, he was a child killer. "Elliot, look at me." She spoke firmly, "You reacted in a time of war to save your own life." She took his face in her hands, "That has nothing to do with Isaac, you're a good father…why do you think you would hurt him?" She asked wondering how this man who was her foundation, could doubt himself when it came to his son.

"I don't know," He shook his head "I never thought about that day in the war until this dream kept coming up over and over again, and when I brought the gun into his nursery and I saw your face and heard you yelling and Isaac screaming and screaming, it was like being in that house again and I saw myself shooting that little boy again."

"Honey, I can't even imagine what it must feel like to carry this for all these years, but you can't doubt yourself with Isaac, he needs you if he's gonna have a chance to make it in life." She rubbed his back gently feeling his body shudder as he tried to take in breath and hold in his tears.

"I saw you when you ran into Isaac's room with your gun drawn and I'm not going to lie, you scared the crap out of me. But I saw you and you never once aimed that weapon anywhere near Isaac, you were searching for someone that you thought was hurting your son Elliot, you were protecting him…that's what father's do when their family is threatened." Olivia smiled softly taking his face into her hands and kissing him gently, "I'm still here."

Elliot rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes in an effort to calm his aching body, "Thank you." He whispered, kissing her lightly and exhaling deeply.

"Can I ask you something?" Olivia decided since the ship was being battered it may as well broach one more swell. When Elliot shook his head in agreement, she touched him softly, "Why did you think I would leave you?"

Elliot pressed his lips together and then spoke with shame covered words, "because I killed that little boy, I took an innocent life and I didn't want you to see me as some…some…perp. I didn't want you to worry when I was with Isaac."

Olivia smiled gently at his own concern for his son, he may not have seen it as concern but in a twisted way she could. "I have never worried about leaving Isaac with you…Munch? Yes, but never you."

Olivia allowed Elliot to rest his head in her lap as he looked up at her. She rested her hand just under his T-shirt and drew tiny shapes with her fingers as she watched the tired and beaten man in front of her fight sleep. "Liv?" he said sleepily.

"Hmmm?"

"We don't have to work tomorrow, do you think we could go out just the three of us and spend some time together?"

Olivia lowered her lips to his kissing him, "You know what?" She smiled "I'd like that."


	8. Chapter 8 Questionable Genes

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 8 Questionable genes.

"Elliot!" Olivia laughed, "Stop, your gonna get him stroller sick."

"Stroller sick?" He made a disbelieving face towards his wife as he continued to bring the stroller up on it's back wheels with Isaac fastened securely inside, "Is that even a real condition?" He laughed.

"Well, when he pukes, I suppose it will be, he just ate." She smiled as he slowed his pace and allowed her walk side by side with him as he wrapped his free arm around her waist. "Did you sleep well Elliot?" she asked knowing that the previous night had to be miserable for him.

Elliot kissed her softly on her head, "Yep, sure did." He smiled sincerely. "So, what would you like to do?"

"Well, I was thinking that you and I could just walk around the town and see what suits us?" She asked slipping her hand into his back pocket.

"Sounds good to me." Elliot smiled as they walked along the sidewalk. "Hey, what do you think Casey and Paul are doing right now?"

"I don't know, she's been a little hush hush at work like she's got something on her mind, but when I ask what's up, she shuts me down." Olivia smiled.

"Well, maybe she'll show up drunk again." Elliot laughed.

"Elliot! Not funny!" she slapped his abdomen lightly.

"Then why are you trying not to laugh?" He pointed to her lips that threatened to form a smile.

"I'm not laughing Stabler." She tried to straighten herself.

"Yes you are _Stabler_." He teased her back emphasizing the last name. "Your cute when you try to be angry".

"And when I'm not trying?" she raised her brows,

"Well," he smirked, "then your just plain sexy."

"Oh spare me!" she laughed and then thought how good it was to walk down a sidewalk with her family and simply laugh at absolutely nothing.

"Hey," Elliot smiled, "Want to get some chocolate?" he said motioning to the café they stood in front of.

"The café looks packed, I can wait here with Isaac." Olivia suggested.

"Alright, I'll be back." He smiled and gave her a chaste kiss as he turned to enter the café, "Hey, Elliot," she called to him and waited for him to turn to her.

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell them to put a shot of cherry in mine please?"

"Sure."

"Whipped cream too!" She sang back to him smiling.

"Alright." He laughed, "Can I go now?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, "I suppose." She crouched down and adjusted the thin blanket that covered Isaac who was sucking frantically on his thumb. "Hey honey," Olivia smiled stroking his hair, "Does that thumb taste good?" She laughed as Isaac kicked his tiny feet in glee. "It does, doesn-"

Olivia froze mid sentence as the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. The smell of cheap aftershave stung her nose as her mind raced in a matter of seconds to process whom the smell belonged to. It absolutely was not Elliot's intoxicating scent.

As soon as Olivia's mind provided her with a mental image of the carrier, she stood slowly keeping her back to him and her hand firmly on the stroller.

"I swear you have a sixth sense." The voice spoke sounding as if the person were only four, possibly, five feet away.

Olivia turned slowly looking into the café to see Elliot next in line and then continued the turn until she was face to face with the offending voice with her body shielding Isaac.

"Then again," the voice continued, "you always wanted me, isn't that right Ice Princess?"

Olivia felt the rage pulsate through her body. "What do you want Nick?"

"I just came for coffee." He smirked holding his cup, "Looks like I was destined to find you two." He motioned to the stroller.

Olivia shifted her body hiding her son from his sight, "Your braking your restraining order." She reminded him. _Come on Elliot_, she thought to herself.

"Actually, my restraining order expired a month ago…didn't you get the memo?" he cocked his head to one side.

Olivia stood her ground aware that Elliot was now placing the order for their drinks and digging in his wallet to pay. Nick Ganzner stepped closer in an act of intimidation to which she neither flinched nor backed away from.

"I got to hand it to you Ice Princes, I never thought you'd keep the bastard." He smiled motioning to Isaac and trying to get a rise out of her.

Olivia offered her own menacing smile, "You should have studied your vocabulary words this week Nicky. My son was born _after_ I was married."

"Son?" he narrowed his eyes at her, "passing along those questionable genes?" he smiled faking concern, "Sure that's a good move Liv?" Olivia ignored his remark, although she felt it slice into her heart. "You were though, weren't you Liv?" He continued his verbal assault, "A bastard, I mean."

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, "Bastard…bitch…they're synonyms to me."

Nick stepped as close as he could to her causing the bile to rise in her throat, "When you least expect me Olivia," he whispered with evil happiness, "when you least expect me."

"Duck." Olivia said flatly.

"Wha-" before, Ganzner could decipher her instruction Elliot's fist had collided with the side of his head causing him to collapse to the ground. Elliot picked him up by his suit jacket and punched again forcing him back to the concrete.

"Stay away from my family!" Elliot barked.

Olivia knelt beside Ganzner and smiled as he rubbed his head, "When you least expect _him_ Nicky."

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Olivia pushed the empty stroller as Isaac hid safely in his father's arms.

"This is nice." Elliot said positioning Isaac's head on his shoulder.

"What is?" Olivia smiled as Isaac tracked her movements with his blue eyes.

"Me and you walking our son in the park." He smiled.

"Yeah after my husband knocked another man out." She giggled knowing full well that Ganzner deserved more.

"Seriously Liv, this is a good contrast to our job, I really enjoy being with you." He wrapped his hand around her waist.

Olivia looked up at her husband and was happy to see that the war she saw in his eyes only last night, had dissipated, "I love being with my two men too." She said referring to him and Isaac. She walked a few more feet remembering how Nick had held his head grimacing in the pain he was experiencing. "You think Ganzner is okay?" she asked with a smile.

"He's a slime ball Liv." Elliot informed her of the obvious.

"Oh, don't get me wrong." She protested, "I agree with you.' She laughed.

"What was he saying to you anyway?" He smiled rubbing Isaac's back.

"Ah- he was being his same cryptically stupid self, he said," Olivia cleared her throat and offered her best Nick impersonation, "When you least expect it Olivia." She forced herself to laugh in spite of the fact that her run in with Nick had made her suddenly incredibly uneasy.

"He threatened you?" Elliot furrowed his brows stopping their rhythmic stride.

"Oh, he was probably just showing his feathers…apparently his restraining order is up." She scoffed drinking the rest of her chocolate.

Before Elliot could voice his concerns about Ganzner, Olivia lowered her cup from her lips causing his to laugh.

"What tickled your funny bone?" She asked looking suspiciously at the cup as if it had some magic ability to make him laugh.

"You have a foamstache." He stepped closer smiling and revealing the shimmer in his eyes that Olivia had missed.

"A who?" She furrowed her brows.

"A foamstache. Here, let me help you." He leaned into her careful of the baby as he connected his mouth to her lips and gently ran the bottom of his tongue's tip over her top lip. He allowed himself to taste the chocolate wonder mixed with cherry and whipped cream before separating himself from her mouth and smiling at her expression of surprise and satisfaction.

"That's a foamstache." He smiled readjusting Isaac.

Olivia felt herself blush, "Well then, I should grow a foamstache more often."

"Well," Elliot held up his cup of chocolate, "I still have some chocolate if you-" Elliot was cut off by the sound of the cell phone ringing. "Figures." He mumbled passing Isaac to Olivia before answering the phone.

"Uh huh…about five minutes…we have Isaac…" Olivia watched Elliot and tried to make since of his side of the conversation and grew concerned when Elliot screeched, "Munch!…alright…fine were on our way." Elliot pocketed his phone.

"Who was that?" Olivia asked adjusting Isaac in the stroller and seat belting him in.

"Cragen. He wants us back at the house."

"Did he say why?" Olivia asked tucking the blanket over Isaac.

"Nope, but it can't be that important he said to bring Isaac and Munch will watch him while he talks with us."

"Munch!" Olivia exclaimed.

Elliot smiled, "My thoughts exactly."

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"Hey Cap." Olivia smiled standing at the door of his office, "You wanted to take us to lunch?"

"Lunch?" Cragen asked confused and from the bewildered look on Elliot's face he had every right to be.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, "Can't blame a girl for trying." She laughed.

Cragen chuckled at her brazen nature, "Alright, where's my boy?" he asked for Isaac.

"Oh Captain!" Olivia moaned, "You didn't call us down here because you wanted to see Isaac again did you?" She smiled and shook her head picking Isaac out of the stroller and passing him to Cragen.

"No." Cragen smiled remembering they weren't exactly thrilled the last time he'd called them in to see the kid. "But, if I had you would have brought him anyway." He teased her holding onto the little body.

Olivia knew he was right and she was fine with that. She watched Cragen pal around with her son and was happy to see Cragen enjoying himself. He deserved to be happy just as much as the next person but if there was one thing that SVU had taught her, it was that everyone had a past. Cragen took that one step further by teaching her that while we all have pasts; it is what we do in the present that alters your future.

"Sorry I'm late." Fin tapped on the door and looked at Olivia, "Your friendly neighborhood sitter is here Liv." He smiled and reached for Isaac.

"Oh, Fin," She smiled allowing him to take Isaac, "you don't have to."

"No, I want to. Besides, Munch went home sick…anthrax." Fin said rolling his eyes clearly annoyed with Munch.

"Again?" Olivia laughed, "That's twice this year."

Elliot joined in the laughter and allowed Fin to leave with his son, "Thanks." He muttered and closed the door behind Fin.

"So, what's going on Cap?" Elliot sat down.

"We got ourselves a problem." Cragen leaned against his desk and folded his arms.

"What sort of problem?" Olivia asked half way not wanting to know.

"Gina Fairbanks hired a lawyer and is refusing to talk." Cragen's voice was irritated.

"Well, can she legally do that?" Elliot asked folding his arms.

"Apparently, the group signed a confidentiality agreement and she's citing that agreement as legally binding." Cragen exhaled deeply.

"Let me guess," Olivia smirked, "she's the lawyer's wife."

Cragen laughed, "Yep, but Casey said there is something we can do while we wait for it to get pushed through the courts.

"Educate us." Olivia smiled as Cragen reached for two files.

"Well," he said, "I'm glad you're in a learning mood." He handed one file to each of them, "because you got a lot of studying to do in order to learn your cover."

"Cover, Sir?" Elliot asked opening the file. "De Velasco!" Elliot shrieked, "How am I suppose to pull that off?" he asked concerned with the origin of the name.

"It's not you they're gonna be paying attention too." Cragen lowered his voice but kept his eyes trained on Olivia as she read her file.

"It's Celeste De Velasco." Olivia said equally shocked at her cover. "Sir, I don't know if I really fit the profile of the victims." She said flipping through her cover story.

"No…but Isaac does." Cragen whispered.

"Whoa, stop right there." Elliot put out a hand as if he were directing traffic. "With all do respect Captain…did you bump your head? Because, there is know way we can knowingly put or son in danger."

"I have to agree with him Captain," Olivia chimed in. "I can't, in good conscience do that to Isaac."

"Before everyone gets their Hanes in a knot, hear me out will ya?" Cragen walked around his desk and sat facing two of the most stubborn and currently, suspicious detectives he'd ever known. "Here's the deal." He began his proposition. "Liv, you're a former prostitute-"

"I'm honored." She quipped dryly.

"I figured you would be. Now, you're married to Steven De Velasco who is an architect. Every Wednesday night Steven drops his wife off at what he thinks is a bible study. The couple is newly married with a six month old son whom they drool over…you shouldn't have any trouble adjusting." Cragen smiled pointing out the obvious.

"So, Isaac and I are more for decoration?" Elliot asked almost insulted.

"Exactly."

"And he'll never leave my sight?" Elliot asked for clarification.

"Elliot," Liv spoke up before Elliot decided for both of them, "I don't know about this." She shook her head with uncertainty.

"Liv, if I'm just dropping you off, then he'll be in the car with me the whole time. I think that we should at least try it once and if your still uneasy with it we'll pull out immediately." He offered her knowing full well she wanted in on the assignment. Olivia was a sucker for undercover work.

"There's some things that don't make sense here." She questioned the game plan before even offering a hint as to what her decision would be. "There's no profile, so how do we know Isaac fit's it?"

"I talk to Huang about the same thing," Cragen handed them both another sheet, "This is what we have on the case so far. Every description of the parents, the babies, education and if they use one ply or two." Cragen added the last as an exaggeration. "There's no physical profile because it's all about circumstance."

"Well," Elliot said looking at Olivia, "I'm lost, how about you?"

"Lost me at one ply." She shook her head, "Cap, if you want me to even consider this, it's gonna have to make perfect since." She said laying down her boundary.

"Alright, Huang said that the person we are looking for most likely has a complex wherein they feel that the parents must be punished for having a child-"

"She's a former prostitute and therefore unworthy?" Olivia narrowed her eyes at Cragen.

"Yeah, something like that and the fact that the Perp may feel that the husband has defiled himself by marrying a former prostitute." Cragen added.

"So, in spite of the woman trying to right her wrongs," Elliot began to summarize, "and a faithful husband committed to church life and his family it's still not good enough? What about forgiveness of sins?" He furrowed his brows.

"Well," Cragen exhaled, "Getting there lives back on track by attending church and group therapy might be enough for God-"

"But not this guy?" Olivia answered softly. She felt a tinge of emotion creep up within her but stiffened it before she could put a label on it. "Okay, so maybe that is the reason for taking the kids but what are they doing with them?" She asked and then offered, "They can't be keeping seven infants."

"Well," Cragen put the ball back in Olivia's court, "That's what I need you to find out."

Olivia leaned back in her chair and thought carefully as she analyzed the situation. "Okay, but with a few conditions." She threw the ball back.

Cragen smiled, "Wouldn't have expected anything less."

"Elliot and I are in constant communication…he hears me and I hear him."

"Done, what else?" Cragen asked jotting the requests down.

"Elliot is armed at all times and either Munch, Fin or you is armed in an unmarked care within a hundred yards of Isaac-"

"Liv." Cragen interjected,

"And no Crown Victoria crap it's a dead giveaway." She ignored his interjection. If she wanted her cooperation in this situation, it was by her rules.

"Anything else?" Cragen asked with a sarcastic but loving smile, "Maybe a beamer or porche?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders and replied with equal sarcasm, "I've always been fond of the Beamer."


	9. Chapter 9 Undercover Agony

When I Lay My Baby Down

Chapter 9 Undercover Agony

Olivia and Elliot flipped through files that contained their cover stories as they walked out of the office. "I can't believe were agreeing to this Elliot." she mumbled and then noticed Elliot was smiling. She followed his line of sight to see Fin had propped Isaac up in his desk chair and was speaking to him about something. Elliot and Olivia walked closer to see Fin manipulating two hotwheel cars on the desk.

"Listen up short stack." Fin said to the child whose eyes simply bounced around the room, "Chasing perps is a skill. Say you got a car," He held a Hotwheel up to Isaac and put it down on the table. "And you need to chase it. Always have your mom drive, she does crazy shi…err…stuff, behind the wheel." Fin crouched low to meet the child's eyes. " Now, what you do is run up on the side like this," Fin demonstrated the technique. "And lightly…which, is a word your Dad doesn't understand, hit the perps car."

"Fin," Elliot smiled his best cocky grin. "Didn't know you were into Hotwheels."

"Yeah, Fin, cool cars." Olivia joined in the teasing.

Fin stood quickly putting on his best 'Gangster' face and in one motioned opened a drawer and slid the cars in and shut it. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said straight-faced. "Take him, he's drooling on my paperwork…just like having Munch here." He smacked his lips.

Olivia laughed picking up her son. "Fin, as hard as you try to be, you're a softy."

"Hey!" Fin scolded her, "Don't say crap like that out loud." Fin scolded her looking around for any damage she may have inflicted on his reputation. When he was confident no one heard her remark he raised an eyebrow an offered a weak smile, "You know I love that kid."

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Olivia tried to steady her hand as she put her eyeliner on. Wednesday had crept up entirely too fast and the thought of taking Isaac on a sting didn't exactly set with her maternal instincts. When she was satisfied with her makeup she slipped the frameless drill mount eyeglasses on and was surprised to see that they complimented her face well. Olivia stepped out of the restroom as she fastened the back of an earring to see Elliot tying his sneakers.

"Elliot!" She startled him.

"Huh?…What?" He furrowed his brows.

"You can't wear jeans, you're an architect who's got boo koo bucks." She scolded him walking to the closet. "If your gonna be my decoration you'd better look good." She ran her hand over the hangers stopping at a pair of slacks. She moved quickly, retrieving the right blue shirt and the proper tie. "Start changing while I get your belt El." She said eyeing the clock, "Where gonna be late." She tossed the belt on the bed and moved to the dresser. "Heads up." She called tossing him his dress socks. "I'll get Isaac." She called to him as she disappeared across the hall to the nursery.

Olivia transferred her sleeping son from his crib to the car seat with absolutely no desire to wake him up. He'd been particularly cranky today and she found herself relieved when he'd finally fallen asleep. _Success_! She yelled inwardly as she adjusted the straps to fit him and covered the car seat with a pale blue blanket.

"Want me to carry him?" Elliot asked standing at the door. Olivia turned to see him and was stunned at his simple beauty. "Wow, you look sexy." She smiled.

"Thank you." He blushed and walked to her, "Those glasses Liv, that's hot."

"Shut Up!"

"No, I'm serious, you're cute in them." He brought her face to his and ran her hair behind her ear, "But your cute in everything." He whispered and met her lips with his own. He partook of one lip and then the other gently feeling her walk her hands up his back and rest them softly on his neck. Pulling her waist to him he tentatively explored her mouth before slipping his tongue over hers and slowly drawing her into his mouth. Her Listerine flavored mouth was fantastically cool as they explored one another. She ran her tongue along his teeth and felt the vibrations of his moan on her lips. She kept hold on his lip and sucked lightly before letting go completely.

"Amazing." She smiled, "my glasses fogged up." She admitted. "What was that all about El?" she asked taking hold of his tie and manipulating it.

"I just wanted you to feel how much I love you." He whispered watching her tie the fabric.

"Elliot, I don't know how you got through life the way you tie a tie." She laughed making a final adjustment but feeling Elliot's hips getting increasingly closer to her own.

"Clip on." Elliot said bluntly.

Olivia couldn't contain her laughter. "Excuse me?" She asked, "Tell me you just didn't say that."

"Sure did, but Munch told me you'd never go for a guy with a clip on so, I made the change."

"Your serious aren't' you?" She smiled remembering she had told Munch that the reason she wouldn't date the banker he wanted to set her up with was because he wore a clip on tie.

"Yep." He laughed resting his hands on her hip.

"Why do you torture yourself with these then? And I thought you said you've been tying a tie for twenty years?" She asked out of curiosity.

"Well," He pressed his pelvis into her's allowing her to feel him. " That was all part of the cover up." He laughed, "And besides this way, I get to have you this close to me, so I can smell in you in the mornings when you tie it. I get to look into your eyes when your standing in front of me and I can kiss your lips," He pressed his against hers, "and I know you like them." He whispered kissing her again.

"All that for me huh?" She smiled, "Nice to know you'll take one for the team." She turned to leave but he pulled her back whispering through a smile, "You do the same thing for me."

"Wow, your pretty confidant." She smiled.

"Come on Liv, you do the same thing for me…don't you?" He smiled holding her, as his devilishness was evident in his pelvis resting against hers.

"What? No I don't." She defended.

"Oh ya you do. Admit it." He grazed her breast with a tender down stroke of his fingers.

"Were gonna be late." She whispered closing her eyes at his touch.

"Tell me." He whispered knowing he was starting to engage her.

"Your not gonna let me go until I tell you… are you?" she supported her hands against his chest as she felt him growing larger against her.

"That's correct detective." He whispered lowering his cheek next to hers and grazing his lips over the softness of her cheek. "Tell me, what you wear to turn me on Liv."

Olivia felt her temperature rise, as the conversation grew more and more erotic. "Okay," she finally caved, "I'll tell you," she ran her lips along his jaw line, "My underwear." She smiled looking at the shock in his face.

"What?" She asked blushing.

"You wear underwear for me?" he asked confused.

"I wear the boy shorts for you, normally, I would wear bikini's." she lowered her gaze.

"Are you serious?" he asked stunned at her confession.

Olivia stepped back blushing, "You don't like them?" she asked nervously.

"Are you kidding me, I love watching you walk around the house in them." He smiled pulling her back to him. "I love the way they define your bottom half." He kissed her.

"That's good because Munch told me about a conversation he'd had with you wherein you stated you'd kill to see me in them." She kissed his lips softly knowing he was embarrassed by her inside knowledge.

"Munch knows too much," he whispered kissing her back, "talks too much too." He said before kissing her again and releasing her.

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Olivia felt her nerves kick in as Elliot pulled the Grey BMW along the curb in front of the church. "I can't believe Cragen actually took the Beamer bit seriously." Olivia laughed nervously.

"Ah, he's probably feeling guilty about Isaac." Elliot said looking at his son sleeping in the rearview mirror. Elliot took hold of Olivia's hand, "Ready for the show Celeste?" He smiled.

"Ready when you are Steven." She exhaled deeply noticing a small group of people in front of the church illuminated only by the outside lighting of the building. "Elliot" She reclaimed his hand with her own, "are you sure that this is a new group and none of the victims are going to be in here to blow my cover?"

Elliot looked at her closely, knowing it was the first time she had ever expressed doubt while undercover. "Liv, Cragen called posing as an interested party, he checked and double checked. Your gonna be fine and Isaac and I will be here to pick you up in an hour, were just gonna park around the corner."

"Yeah." She shook her head, "Okay, come on Stabler, we got an audience." She smiled motioning to the group that seemed to be taking an interest in the Beamer in the parking lot.

Elliot lowered the window on the rear passenger side before stepping out of the car. He opened Olivia's door extending his hand to her and watching her move her legs to escape the confines of the car.

"Bye honey." Elliot started the performance.

"By Steven." She smiled and kissed his cheek whispering, "I'd like to play more of this game at home tonight." Before Elliot could respond to her seduction she peeked her head into the rear window, "Bye Bye sweetie, mama will see you after church." She kissed her fingertips and then pressed them lightly over Isaac's sleeping form.

Olivia turned to her husband and let the fingertips of one of her hands lightly graze his abdomen, "I love you."

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Olivia grabbed a cookie from the refreshment table and stood off to the side of the room as she observed the women of the group interacting with one another.

"How ya doing Celeste?" Came Elliot's voice through her earpiece.

"Fabulous." She mumbled sarcastically taking a nibble off of the chocolate chip cookie. She scanned the room and made a mental not that there were no men in attendance.

"Alright ladies, if we could get started." Came the voice of woman who appeared in the middle thirties, brown hair and eyes and was far too giddy for Olivia's liking.

"Why don't we start with introductions." She said smiling. Olivia sat slowly and forced herself to pay attention as the woman spoke.

"What I want everyone to share is your name if you're comfortable with doing so. I want you to share with us what brought you into prostitution and who or what encouraged you to leave prostitution, and, although I know it may be painful I want you to share if you have ever been the victim of sexual abuse before you turned to prostitution.

_Shit! _Olivia cursed to herself and then grimaced when she remembered where she was. She listened as woman after woman told stories of being raped by family members in their youths, to turning tricks when their lives had fallen apart to meeting their husbands who offered them a second chance at life. Olivia made mental notes of the women who had children and so far there were only two.

"And what about you?" The woman motioned to Olivia. She felt a sudden burst of heat invade her body as she noticed all eyes were on her. "Um…" she crossed her legs and rested her hands on her knees as she fidgeted with her wedding ring. "My name is Celeste De Velasco," she began slowly and softly with a rasp in her voice. She cleared her throat and continued, "I grew up with an alcoholic mother who was single…"

Elliot sighed hearing her use her own personal story to make herself believable. He hadn't known she would expose herself in that way. While half of him hoped it would be good for her to verbalize her past, the other half allowed his heart to break as he heard the tenseness in his wife's voice as she recounted her past to a room full of complete strangers.

"My mother often told me I was worthless," Olivia found the exact center of the carpeted circle the groups placement had made and stared at it. "Unattractive and a disappointment." She took in a deep breath, "Beatings while she was drunk were as common as snow in the winter and they were usually followed by gifts or trips to the ice cream shop…I hate ice cream now."

Elliot took a sip of his coffee as Isaac continued to sleep. Olivia had never shared with him the abuse she experienced as a child and he wondered if this was the first she'd spoken of it besides the court trial.

"When I was sixteen," Olivia continued, "My mother came at me with a broken bottle, I kicked her so hard that she flew into the wall cracking the sheet rock. When she collapsed to the floor," Olivia's voice cracked, "I kicked her again…harder and I heard her gasp for air." Olivia adjusted the glasses that were slipping on the bridge of her nose. "I grabbed my school bag and left. I supported myself through school by working as an escort."

Elliot reached back and rubbed Isaac's tummy softly as he fidgeted in the backseat. He heard Olivia loud and clear and although he knew she had never been a prostitute her voice was still tender and completely full of stifled pain.

"I met my husband while I was in graduate school, he had just started his first job as an architect and I fell in love with him the first time I saw him." She smiled; she couldn't help the smile because she knew inwardly she was referring to Elliot, not some psuedo husband written in black and white.

"I graduated with my master's in English and I left the escort service I was working for but emotionally I'm broken, I am in constant fear of him leaving and after we had our son, the fear of him finding out about my past increased."

Olivia exhaled knowing that she was still talking about Elliot. There were times after Isaac was born that she panicked if Elliot wasn't next to her in the morning. Time when she felt he would leave her if he found out about the abuse her mother put her through. After all, abuse is a cycle isn't it? Although she never expressed to Elliot, the fear she had of hurting her son it was there, constantly creeping up in the back of her mind. Olivia's private thoughts were suddenly invaded by the sound of her husbands voice in her earpiece.

"Olivia I need you to know something, I love you…I adore you…your beautiful." He whispered softly before he rested his head on the headrest of the Beamer and looked at his watch. He was grateful it was time to pick her up. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. Olivia had walked though hell growing up and it seemed to never get any easier on her. He saw how happy Isaac made her but he often wondered if the love he himself provided her would be enough to conqueror her pain.

Olivia stood patiently outside of the church waiting for Elliot, but also waiting for someone to approach her to start a conversation. _Fifteen women_. She thought to herself, _What's taking so long to talk to me? _

"Hi Celeste," The voice came as if it were answering her thought.

_Oh, no, not you, crap_! Olivia thought to herself. After spilling her guts out to a room full of women she didn't' know she didn't want to have a conversation with the giddy group leader.

"Hi," Olivia turned extending her hand and plastering on a smile.

The woman responded with a cheesy grin and soft shake of Olivia's hand, "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so happy your attending the group."

"Oh yeah?" Olivia saw opportunity present itself; she maintained the fallacy of a smile and asked, "Why's that? There are several people here."

"Yeah there are, but I'm always happy to see the one's with children."

Olivia adjusted the glasses again narrowed her eyes toward the woman her mind had labeled as Ms. Giddy. "I'll do anything for my son." She smiled again wondering just how audacious this woman could be.

"I think it is so good that your hear getting things fixed in your life for your children and husband. It's a painful process, I know, but it's rewarding." She offered and patted Olivia on the arm.

"How long have you gone to church here?" Olivia questioned while she mentally prepared a suspect case file on the woman that stood in front of her.

"Oh, my husband and I started attending about ten years ago and fell in love with it from day one." She smiled and then looked into the distance. "Isn't that your husband driving up?"

Olivia turned to see the gray Beamer park into a stall and the engine die as the lights ceased. "Yeah, that's Steven, he thinks I'm at bible study." Olivia smiled faintly as she went along with the cover story.

"That's the case with all the women here Celeste, don't be ashamed, if you feel the need to tell him, we'll cross that bridge when we get there." She smiled.

"Liv-" Came Elliot's voice through the ear piece, "Fin is two cars to my right, I'm stepping out of the car with Isaac to come get you."

"No!" Olivia screeched and then realized her slip in front of Ms. Giddy, she recovered quickly, "I'm sorry," She smiled sheepishly, "I just don't think I could tell him."

"Some do and some don't, you'll know if it's the right thing to do." She assured Olivia who was concentrating on the sound of Elliot's dress shoes colliding with the ground. She turned and smiled suppressing the fear she had of Isaac being around a group of women that had a perp in it's midst.

"Steven, hi." She beamed and kissed his cheek softly. "Meet my friend Ms…." Olivia caught her tongue before she called her Ms. Giddy but she couldn't remember her real name.

"Sylvia Venville." The woman interjected and shook Elliot's extended hand. "And this must be your little one." She cooed down at Isaac who seemed unaffected by the woman's presence.

"Well honey," Elliot interjected, "We had better get going, mom's gonna watch Isaac while we go to catch that late movie." He wrapped his arm around her waist as she bid Ms. Giddy goodnight. Elliot escorted her back to the car ready for his butt chewing.

"Steven," she spoke low using the cover names just in case. "Why did you bring Isaac out like that he could have been hurt."

"Celeste, I know, Fin was right here and Cragen wanted to make you and your life the most visible which meant Isaac had to debut. It won't be happening again he assured me." Elliot spoke calmly as he opened the passenger door for her. He could see the worry on her face that was masking the pain she had just exposed during the meting. "I'm sorry I threw you off like that Celeste." He offered his apology as she buckled herself in.

"It's okay, I just want this case to be over." Leaned back into the seat as Elliot buckled Isaac into the car seat and then reclaimed his position as the driver. He looked at Olivia who stared out the window at nothing and noticed the rapid rise and fall of her chest. She was stressed out, worried and he had just scared the crap out of her by stepping out with Isaac. As Elliot drove the car back to their home in silence, Olivia reached for his hand as she continued her stare outside of the car. She slipped her palm under his and allowed him to interlace their fingers together. Neither one spoke a word as Isaac slept but Elliot was keenly aware she was hurting and just needed to be touched.

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Elliot held Isaac's sleeping body snuggly against his chest and lightly the bottom of the door to close it as Olivia placed keys on the counter. He kissed her softly, "Go take a shower and I'll put him down okay?"

Olivia offered no response but removed the glasses from her face and sat them on the counter shaking her head in agreement. Elliot placed his sleeping son on the changing table and gathered pamper changing items and a pair of pajamas. He moved softly and tenderly careful not to disturb the infant's slumber. Elliot learned quickly that the longer Isaac slept, the better off he and Olivia would be. When he was satisfied that the diaper change and clothing change hadn't disturb Isaac he placed him gently into his crib and tucked him in. "Good night big boy." He whispered and left to seeing how Olivia was holding up.

Elliot stood at the doorway watching his wife slip a pair of boy shorts over her freshly showered body. She pulled a tan tank top over her torso and gave her underwear one last adjustment.

"Quick shower." He said walking to her and embracing her tired body from behind. When there was no answer from Olivia he rested his chin on her shoulder and felt her hands pulls his arms tighter around her. It was a motion that let Elliot know she was hurting without her having to say it. He held her body flush with his tightly with his neck against hers until he felt the pulse in her neck slow to normal. "Want to tell me about it?" he asked softly turning her to face him.

Olivia rested her hands on his chest and shook her head softly declining his offer. He ran his hand up her back to back of her head and pressed her to his shoulder embracing her again. "When you're ready to talk, I'm right here."

Olivia lifted her head and offered a weak smile. She traced her fingers along the fabric of his tie. Elliot brushed the rebel strands of hair that separated them from the rest and placed them behind her ear. He traced the contours of her lips gently and leaned in to kiss her. When there was no response from her mouth and he felt the warmth of her tear on his lips, he withdrew.

"Talk." He whispered to her.

"I don't' want you to pity me." She blurted through the guise of a whisper.

"What?" Elliot asked shocked. "Why do you think I would pity you? Because of your mom?"

Olivia offered him no response to his question but instead offered her own as she struggled to fight back tears. "I don't want you to think I would abuse Isaac."

"Olivia, stop right there" Elliot held her face in his arms. "That never crossed my mind, you are doing a fantastic job with our son and I'm proud of you" he smiled. "You'd never do anything to hurt him…I wish you could have seen your face when I stepped out of that car with Isaac today." He smiled knowing her face had been a mixture of fear and anger. "You're a mom Liv…a good mom… a sexy mom." He offered the last to lighten her mood.

Olivia rested her head on his chest and exhaled, "Thank you. Do you want to go over the case?"

"You work too much." He smiled separating her from the strength of his chest. "Go to sleep, I'll be in after awhile." He kissed her cheek and watched as she slipped her slender frame into the bed.

Elliot changed his clothes opting for his pajama bottoms and 'A' shirt. He returned to the office and pulled out paperwork he'd taken home from the bullpen. He filled out one paper after another until after two hours the pile had disappeared. Rubbing his burning eyes he got up and walked down the hall noticing the light from the nursery was on. Elliot crept by careful not to draw attention to himself and stopped at the entrance.

Olivia sat in the rocking chair facing the window, with Isaac asleep on her shoulder; he smiled hearing her sing a real lullaby to Isaac. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when sky's are gray…" Elliot retreated to the master bathroom allowing her to be alone with their son. It seemed she'd found a nursery rhyme that spoke what she felt and didn't risk the chance of Isaac needing counseling in the future.

Elliot slipped his body into the bed and was just about to fall asleep when he felt Olivia slip in next to him. Without him asking or motioning for her, she moved to him until she was inches from his face. He wrapped his arm around her waist providing her with as much security as possible. "I see you found a lullaby." He whispered kissing her softly.

She smiled tracing imaginary figures on his chest, "Yeah, I like it, do you?" She whispered back to him.

"Not as much as I like you, but yeah it's nice." He slipped his hand under her tank top feeling the warmth of her bare skin. "I didn't hear him or I would have gotten him up."

"He wasn't crying" she assured him moving her hands along his ribs and stopping at his waistline. "I got up to check on him and he was just staring at the little mobile and I wanted to hold him." She kissed him softly as she moved her hands still lower.

"Liv, we don't have to do anything tonight if your tired." He whispered and then gasped feeling her hand grasp him inside of his flannel pants.

Olivia shifted her body over his and smiled, "I'm not tired."

Elliot gently pushed Olivia back as she straddled him and by the hurt look on her face he knew she was offended.

"Do I have bad breath?" She asked furrowing her brow and narrowing her eyes on him.

"No, Liv." He whispered resting one hand on the small of her back and using the other to caress her cheek. "Your breath is fine." He whispered with a smile, but he still saw the confusion as she rested on his hips.

"Are _you_ tired?" She asked softly as she searched his face looking for any clues he might unknowingly show.

"I'm never too tired to make love to you Olivia." He clasped his hands together in back of her just in case she tried to leave.

"Okay…I'm a little confused." She admitted with a sheepish smile.

"Olivia, I want you to tell me about your childhood." He requested softly.

Olivia provided him with a sneaky smile as she rubbed herself against him. "It was great." She leaned forward meeting his chest with hers. "I went to PS 57," she brought her voice down to a whisper as she kissed him softly on the lips. "I was MVP on the volley ball team in high school." She ground her hips against him in an effort to check if her seduction was working. When she was confidant it was, she continued, "I love science…particularly biology." She wrapped his bottom lip between her own and elicited a moan from Elliot, which encouraged her to keep going. She rested herself entirely on his body knowing he was perfectly capable of handling her slender frame.

Elliot, fully aware Olivia was seducing him to avoid the topic, and fully aware the seduction was working, shifted his weight and hovered over her warm body. He kissed her neck softly making his way along her jawbone to her lips. "That's not exactly what I meant." He whispered kissing her cheek gently and straddling her body with his knees on either side of her.

Olivia opened her eyes to find two very serious and very compassionate blue ones staring back at her. "Elliot," She exhaled, "I already told you everything."

"No Liv, you didn't." He said firmly but lathered with love."He saw no reason to hurt her.

"El-"

"Olivia, you told a courtroom of people at your trial and you told a group of women who are also strangers…but you've never told anyone who loves you have you?" he said suddenly realizing that her fears weren't just about hurting Isaac but they were entirely something more.

Olivia whispered in an effort to conceal the pleading in her voice, "Please let me go."

Elliot took a deep breath knowing that, with Olivia, love was an art form that was a delicate mixture of firmness and grace. He begrudgingly rolled away from her body and watched her disappear into the hallway.

After several minutes Elliot left the bedroom hoping she had had enough time compose herself. He turned the corner of the hallway to see her sitting with her knees curled up into her chest starring out the window and absentmindedly rubbing Jack's tummy as Cracker slept beside the couch. Elliot rubbed his tired eyes and walked toward her.

Elliot commanded the dog softly, "Jack – down." The fat beagle rolled its sleepy eyes as it stretched on the sofa. "That means now Jack." Elliot smiled at the dog's laziness as it slinked off the couch collapsing to the floor in sleep. Elliot looked at his wife who simply continued to stare into nothing. Her posture was defeated, her confidence seemed to be on shaky ground and her smile was no longer. He sat beside her and pulled her close to him allowing her to rest her head against his chest. He kissed her softly and rubbed her back slowly, "I'm sorry Liv." He whispered.

"Don't be." She replied flatly. "Your right…I haven't really told anyone about the abuse from my mother." She rested a hand on his abdomen and felt him kiss the top of her head again.

"Can I ask you why?" he asked tracing her spine through her tank top.

Olivia broke his embrace and positioned herself facing close to Elliot. She buried an elbow into the back of the couch and rested the side of her head on her hand. "I can accept a lot of things about my life," she spoke deliberately, "I accept that my mother was an alcoholic, I can even accept what Oliver and Victor did to me." She bit her lip and looked down as she traced the pattern of Elliot's pajama pants with her index finger. She cleared her throat and continued, "But I can't accept her beating me over and over in spite of me pleading with her."

Olivia shook her head and snuggled her body a little closer to her husband, "I would plead with her to stop. When I would tell her I loved her it seemed like she hit harder." She exhaled and forced herself to continue exposing another layer of her life she had just assumed kept dormant. "The pain was so intense one time that I…" Olivia's face suddenly cast a shadow of shame over her features.

"You can say it Liv." He assured her resting his hand on her thigh.

"I wet my pants and she got even angrier. She made me sit in it over night and when she woke up sober the next morning and found me she was compassionate. She told me it was okay…that I must have been sleep walking." She scoffed. "It was so confusing to love her." Olivia's voice cracked. "When I was sixteen I came home from my after school job a little late. I was changing when she burst into my room and grabbed the first thing she could find…" Olivia pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. "With my luck it was a wire hanger I'd forgotten to hang back up that morning…"

Elliot shut his eyes as his heart broke for her. "I managed to pull a shirt over my body before she took the first swing…Elliot," her voice broke, "It hurt so bad." She whispered as a tear escaped her eye and she quickly cast it away. "I never felt like a victim. Not with Oliver or Victor, but I always did with my mom and I hated her for that."

"Olivia-" he whispered her name through his own emotion, "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do it." She stroked his thigh lightly. "But it was in that second when I asked her to stop and told her I loved her, and she brought that hanger across my legs and yelled, 'Well, I don't love you.' that I decided right there that love didn't exist…and then I met you and I was so confused."

"It's completely understandable." He assured her rubbing his thumb over her thigh.

"The next night she came after me with a broken bottle and I snapped, I kicked her so hard…I always questioned myself after that." She bowed her head unable to look at the one person who loved her unconditionally.

"That's why you question yourself with Isaac?" His question was more of a statement.

"Elliot, do you remember that day in the interrogation room when you ended up in the hospital?"

"Yeah, how can I forget? I didn't think I'd ever see your smile again." He was surprised to feel his eyes pool with emotion.

"Did Fin or anyone tell you what happened after the ambulance took you away?"

"No, actually when I'd ask everyone froze, I pulled the tape but everything seemed normal…I figured you'd tell me when you wanted to." He offered a weak smile.

"I snapped Elliot." She blurted. " I walked through the door and shoved my gun in his face…inside, I dared him to move." Her eyes were wide with intensity while she recounted the story as if it were happening all over.

"Liv, that precipitated a tremendous amount of pressure…I can't say I would have done different if it was you being taken from me in an ambulance." He grazed her cheek with his hand but still saw the unrest and he knew exactly what she was still afraid of.

"Olivia, do you feel that because you defended yourself against your mother and reacted the way you did when I was taken to the hospital that your some kind of monster?"

Olivia exhaled deeply and shook her head affirming his suspicions. She offered him no audible words but the intense frustration and dare he say…shame ran rampant in her eyes.

Elliot drew her into a tight embrace and spoke softly into her ear. "You are many things Olivia. Outstanding mother, sexy wife and amazing lover…but monster isn't on the list." He kissed her damp check softly and felt her exhausted body shudder. "When I see Isaac in your arms," Elliot continued grazing her cheek with his own. "I know there's no place safer he could be."

Elliot stood to his feet and extended his hand as she stood. He embraced her waist and leaned his forehead against hers, "When I hold you, I know that nothing compares to you." He brushed her bangs gently from her wet eyes. "When you look at me, I know I'm the luckiest person in the world, and when I kiss you…" he bent to meet her lips, "I fall in love with you all over again."

Olivia closed her eyes blinking the tears loose and allowing them to fall. It seemed no matter how much pain she had; Elliot had enough love to pull her through. She slipped her hand to his cheek, "Elliot-"

"Shhh" he whispered caressing her cheek and resting his thumb over her lips. He covered her hand on his cheek and lowered it away from his face, "Come with me. " he whispered leading her back to where everything started that evening.

As Olivia stood in her pajamas, Elliot stood in front of her in his, "Elliot, I-"

"Shh, I'm not done talking to you." He kissed her lips softly and continued kissing her down her neckline while he raised her tank top by the hem. He separated his lips from her body to pull of the shirt and she rested her arms on his shoulders with her naked breast exposed. "When I see Isaac gaining strength from your breast," he whispered grazing her breast with one hand sliding down the center of her body, "I know that without you, he and I would never make it."

Elliot pulled his shirt over his head and was careful to toss it on Olivia's side of the room knowing if she got up in the night she would want to slip in on…she was peculiar with his clothing that way and he didn't mind. He slipped his pants off allowing them to stay where they fell and when he stood before his lover naked he caressed the lines of her bare back as he kissed her gently knowing that tonight, she needed to be touched, affirmed and loved. He gathered her into his embrace and took her to the top of the bed as he climbed onto the mattress.

"When I wake up to your face," he said hovering over her body, "I know that no matter how rough the day goes…I started it out right." He allowed his lips to follow the contours of her body taking the journey from her neck to her collarbone and stopping at her breast; careful not to suck too hard knowing she was sore. He fondled her delicately and moved further down her long abdomen stopping at the waist ban of her boy shorts.

"When you allow me to see you," he whispered looking at her as he pulled her underwear gently off. "I'm honored to know you waited to be with me." He kissed her belly button softly and allowed his tongue to walk the happy trail that was uniquely Olivia, always properly waxed, the terrain was smooth to his tongue as she whimpered softly at the feeling of his tongue sliding within her. He moved within her causing her body to arch and just before she climaxed he pulled away hovering over her with his hips snuggly resting against her own. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him back exploring his mouth tenderly with her tongue as a single tear escaped her shut eyes.

"When you allow me to rest between your thighs…I know I'm safe." He whispered before slowing pushing himself into her and enjoying the arch of her body and the whimper of her mouth. Neither said another word as he moved slowly pushing in every inch of himself and then withdrawing as Olivia's body clung to him in a desperate effort to keep him within her. He moved faster taking hold of her thigh and kissing her as he plummeted still further into the sweet endless abyss that he discovered his wife was.

Olivia felt the stubble of his unshaven cheek rub in contrast to her smooth skin as he breathed harder falling deeper into her. She grabbed his waist and moved further down grabbing him, forcing him deeper until she could no longer stand his invasion. She felt her self ready to climax and knew from Elliot's ragged breathing he would be soon.

They watched one another's body language and waited for each other as they both withheld their moans and came in agonizing silence in one another's arms. Olivia felt Elliot's breath as it cascaded over her body. When he was ready and, he could force himself to move, he withdrew himself and brought her into a face-to-face embrace. There bodies glistened with the mixture of one another's sweat and he kissed her softly. "When you let me inside of you…nothing else exists." He whispered.

Olivia kissed him softly back, "Want to know what happens to me every time you make love to me?" she whispered with all seriousness.

Elliot smiled, "Absolutely."

"Every time you make love to me…a little piece of my heart is healed."


	10. Chapter 10 Come Up For Air

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 10 Come up for air

Olivia ran her head through her hair and let out a frustrated growl as she tried to make sense of the information taped on the chalkboard. As she brainstormed and mulled information over in her mind she wrote the information next to corresponding photos and then erased the graphite when it was apparent to her that the theory wouldn't work.

"Frustrated?" Elliot asked offering a cup of coffee and leaning against his desk.

"Elliot." She pointed to the board, "There's nothing here! This is ridiculous!" she shook her head and took a sip of her coffee, the taste caused her to smile. "Where'd you find hazelnut?"

"I've got connections that extend to places you can't even pronounce." He smiled playfully.

Olivia returned his smile taking a few steps to close the gap between them, "How do you always get my coffee right? Especially when you use Munch's coffee as the base…it's got to be difficult." She stood closer to him.

Elliot noticed the smile but also the uncertainty in her eyes, "You okay after last night Liv?"

She smiled blushing as she casually took a last step closing the gap completely, "Depends on what part of last night your talking about. Are you tal-"

"If you two get any closer, I'll be forced to vomit." Fin interjected as he walked past reading a file.

Olivia and Elliot smiled at the fact that they'd been caught flirting at work. She turned back to the board and stared, "Got any Ideas Elliot?"

"Well, what did you get out of Sylvia Vinville? He folded his arms as they bounced ideas off one another.

"Nothing really, other than she takes some king of happy pill." She scoffed "No one is _that_ happy."

"Did she ask anything specific from you?" He asked her trying to trigger her memory.

"No. Nothing. Although, she did say she was pleased when the women with children came to the group." She turned and took a drink of her coffee. "She wasn't pushy or creepy, just obnoxiously giddy."

"So maybe she's feeling you out?" Elliot suggested picking up chalk and underlining the woman's photo. "Maybe she's our perp."

"That doesn't make sense though." She picked up another piece of chalk.

"Why not?" Elliot shrugged.

"Well," Olivia put an astrix next to the medical report pinned to the wall, "All the victims were raped with evidence of penile penetration, how is a female suppose to pull that off?"

"Well," Elliot looked at the board, "I guess we can also raise the question, "How can a woman as small as Sylvia," he said pointing to her picture and then the pictures of the beaten husbands, "cause this much physical damage to men twice her size?"

"Well," Fin called to them from his desk mocking Elliot's previous tone, "Maybe Liv's right and there's nothing there." He offered still buried in his own case file.

Olivia looked closely at the board and slipped her hands in her back pocket. She spoke softly as if she were speaking only to herself. "No. It's here, I'm starting right at it…I just don't see it."

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After having spent all of Thursday and Friday staring at the board brainstorming, filling out paperwork, theorized as to motive and suspect and chased leads that led to nowhere, it was time for Olivia and Elliot to go home.

"Surprised you didn't catch a case El." She laughed softly putting copies of the information from the board into her workbag. That was what the crew called the 'Elliotic Curse'. It seemed that nine times out of ten, when he was getting ready to leave for home he'd catch a case.

"Wouldn't matter, with the undercover work Cragen won't let us have any new cases."

"Yeah, thanks for the extra work load." Munch called peering over his glasses from his desk.

"Shut up John." Elliot and Olivia spoke simultaneously and laughed as they gathered their belongings and left the bullpen. As they walked down the hall Olivia stopped.

"Hey El, can I ask a favor?" She asked seriously.

"Sure what's up?" He placed his hand on the small of her back urging her to keep in stride with him.

"Um Casey wanted Alex and I to come over after work…would you mind?" She asked with a since of hope in her voice that cause Elliot to laugh.

"Liv," He smiled, "You don't have to ask me to go out." He assured her.

"I know, I just didn't want to stick you alone with Isaac, he's still breast feeding and its Friday night." She reminded him just in case he would change his mind.

"You have some milk in the fridge right?" He clarified.

"Yeah, there's enough and I'll have my phone on in ca-"

"Liv-" He kissed her forehead, "Have fun tonight!" he smiled and walked out of the station house.

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"Olivia," Casey greeted her with a smile at the door, "I'm glad you came," Casey embraced her and took the bag of soda from her hand. "I thought it would be next to impossible to get you separated from Isaac _and_ Elliot in the same night."

"Well, I think Elliot knew I needed a night away." She smiled, "This case is driving me up the wall." She laughed.

"Anything I can do?" Casey asked offering a soda from the bag.

"Yeah, show me the movies you rented." She grinned trying to lighten the mood as she read the titles, "Amityville Horror…Saw…Exorcist…Casey!" Olivia laughed, "I don't get sleep as it is."

"Oh come on, those aren't scary." Casey laughed, "More like psychological thrillers you could say."

"Never knew you were a horror flick chic." Olivia smiled imagining Casey watching a scary movie alone.

'Well, I didn't get to curl up to Paul, so I didn't watch them…but now." She blushed letting Olivia imagine whatever.

"Hey, you girls talking about me?" Paul smiled walking into the kitchen.

"Paul!" Olivia smiled happy to see him, "I didn't know you were here." She embraced him with friendly warmth. "How are you?"

"I'm great, gonna go out so you girls can do…whatever three gorgeous women do." He laughed and walked closer to Casey in the kitchen. As he walked behind her he grazed her mid drift and hip as he kissed her cheek softly. Olivia smiled seeing the couple falling back in love with one another.

"Need anything else before I go?" He asked Casey.

"Yeah, actually, can you fix that blind? Scary movies tonight…the living room has to be dark." She laughed playfully as Olivia rolled her eyes.

Paul moved to the window and pulled the vertical blinds to the right, "Whoa- Hey Casey – Liv, come here." He called to them with a boyish grin.

"What?" Casey asked as her and Liv approached the window.

"Look" he pointed down two floors to the street, "Isn't that Alex?" he asked.

"Whoa" Casey's mouth seemed to be stuck open in shock.

Olivia raised her eyebrows in shock, "Yeah, that's Alex…but I think a more appropriate question is-"

Casey finally managed to compose a question and cut Olivia off, "Who's the guy she's kissing?"

"She gonna come up for air?" Paul laughed.

"I don't think so." Olivia smiled back.

"Well she better, she's got the pizza in that car and at the rate she's going it'll be cold." Casey informed them.

"Anybody think that watching Alex right now is wrong?" Olivia asked out of curiosity but certainly not turning from the view.

"Only if we don't have popcorn." Casey said matter of factly.

"Alright, alright, shows over ladies." Paul closed the blinds and clipped two of the fallen vertical slats back into position before walking to the hall to leave.

"Case." He called to her as he patted his back pockets.

"Yeah honey?" She called back after taking another peek out the window and seeing no evidence of Alex.

"I lost my wallet again." He confessed.

Olivia watched as Casey walked to the exact spot she knew it would be as if he always placed his wallet in the same area. Casey walked to Paul and kissed his mouth separating his lips with her tongue as she slipped the wallet into his back pocket. "I'll see you tonight." She smiled and then shut the door and turned to see a very smiling Olivia.

"What?" Casey blushed as she wiped the remnants of the kiss from the corner of her mouth.

"Nothing," Olivia shrugged. "But between you and Alex, I guess there's no need for a chic flick tonight." She giggled.

"Shut up!" Casey laughed.

"How are you two love birds anyway?" Olivia asked taking a sip of her soda.

"Were doing good, counseling has completely changed the dynamic…" Casey paused.

"But?" Olivia spurred her on.

Casey exhaled and leaned onto the kitchen countertop, "Paul asked if I wanted to try for a baby."

"And?" Olivia smiled at the confession.

Casey beamed, "I told him I'd think about it a couple of months ago," Her beam turned into a blushing smile, "We started trying last night."

Olivia raised her brows as she smiled, "Case, that's great!"

"Yeah, I'm excited." She smiled like a schoolgirl and then was startled by the knock at the door.

"Oh, that's Alex." Olivia jumped up, "Let's tag team her."

"Your cold" Casey laughed "But I'm in." She walked to the door opening it for Alex.

"Alex! Good to have you." Casey smiled passing the pizza to Olivia who set it on the counter top.

"Yeah, even if you are late." Olivia teased.

"I know, I'm sorry." Alex followed them into the kitchen. Enrique puked on me, so, I had to go home and change.

"Someone put their tongue down his throat?" Casey quipped as if it were a standard question.

"Excuse me?" Alex gave a confused smile.

"Tell me something Alex," Olivia folded her arms and circled her as if she were a perp. "where were you, say, five minutes ago."

Alex was still confused but decided to answer in order to pacify her own curiosity. "I was pulling up to the building." She offered a short and concise answer.

"You were driving?" Casey shifted into prosecutor mode.

Alex laughed, "Guys, what's up?"

"Answer the question" Olivia encouraged, "Were you driving?"

"Why do I have the feeling-"

"Why won't you answer the question?" Casey smiled, "Must be hiding something."

Olivia smiled, "I bet that something is about six foot and maybe two hundred and twenty pounds huh?"

Alex blushed, "Busted."

"Who's Enrique?" Casey pressed.

"Wait a second." Alex laughed, "Enrique is a student of mine that had the flu today." She justified herself.

"Okay," Casey gave her that round, "Then who's the guy you were locking lips with?"

"No one." Alex tried to sidestep the tag team but Olivia stood in front of her.

"Didn't look like no one the way he was kissing you." Casey suggested.

"A cop and a prosecutor," Alex sighed, "Theres no way out is there?"

"Nope." Olivia offered.

"Huh uh." Casey chimed.

"Fine," Alex caved. "His name is Robert Gray, he's a middle school teacher I meant at a conference about two months ago."

"Two months!" Olivia asked shocked.

"Gee, thanks for sharing Alex." Casey pouted.

"Come on guys it's not like that, I really like him and I wanted to make sure there was something to talk about before I said anything." She spoke apologetically.

"Does he treat you well?" Olivia asked seriously.

"Far beyond what deserve."

"Does he make you happy?" Casey asked pulling plates from the cupboard.

"Yeah, I really enjoy him." She answered looking at the videos and giving Olivia a questioning look to which she mouthed silently, "Not me." In her own defense.

"All right girls," Alex smiled, "Enough third degree, it's show time." She smiled holding a video in her hand.

"Hey Alex" Olivia sat slowly on the couch.

"Yeah?" She responded handing the DVD to Casey who was setting the TV for viewing.

"You realize," Olivia smiled, "Elliot and I will be running a background check right?" she chuckled pulling a pillow into her lap.

"I had a feeling you would."

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Olivia tiptoed through the house stopping first to find Isaac's crib empty. She continued padding lightly across the hall to the master bedroom that was equally empty. Olivia was growing slightly nervous until she saw the pale light of the office room glowing.

She stood smiling and then remembered the camera. She continued moving about the house quietly until she located the camera and returned to her sleeping family. She laughed inwardly as she took the picture of Elliot's boxer clad body leaned back in the desk chair, his bare feet resting on the desk with Isaac on one shoulder. He held a bottle in one hand while his other hand rested on paperwork he must have fallen asleep trying to complete.

Olivia sat the camera down and gently pried her sleeping son from her husband's arms. She returned shortly after laying Isaac in his crib and gathered the bottle and blanket, smiling at the paperwork that was hers. Elliot was good to her; always making sure her needs came before his own. She ran her hand over his shadowed cheek and kissed him gently. "Elliot" She whispered his name softly causing him to stir and then grimace in pain.

"Oh my neck." He moaned looking up at her from his chair and smiling. "Hi."

"Hi." She smiled kissing his again and resting her hand on his abdomen. Elliot kissed her back wondering if she knew that the simple act of resting her hand on his abdomen drove him crazy with desire for her. Her touch was entirely soft, he could barely feel her fingertips but that was what was so sexy about it. He didn't know why, but when she did it he wanted her immediately.

"How was your night out?" He asked moving his feet from the desk and pulling her into his lap.

"Well, three horror flicks…I'll be sleeping pretty close to you tonight." She smiled resting in his embrace. "How was Isaac?"

"He peed on me." Elliot laughed.

"What is with the bodily functions today?" Olivia asked remembering Alex's excuse for being late. "How did he end up pulling that off?" She asked out of sheer curiosity.

"I didn't get the new diaper on in time…water pistol." He laughed and looked at his watch. "We don't have to go to work tomorrow." He kissed her cheek softly.

"Want me to get the knot out of your neck?" she asked pulling herself to her feet and offering her hand to him.

"I just want you to touch me." He smiled softly.

Olivia looked at him and then suddenly pieced the night together; Elliot had fallen asleep with Isaac for a reason other than Isaac being fussy.

"Nightmare?" She asked softly as he stood to his feet.

"Yeah. Same on." He confessed.

Olivia whispered softly in his ear as she walked backwards leading him into the bedroom. "I'll protect you."

Elliot smiled, "Good to know." He kissed her gently and laid her softly on the bed.

"Turn over, I'll do your back." She whispered as he kissed her neck and seemed as if he wouldn't stop. "El, come on…we need to get that knot out." She felt her skin beg for more as he left her body and lay on his abdomen.

Olivia straddled his back and massaged his body slowly hearing the satisfaction of his moans as she worked knots and muscles. When she was confidant he should be feeling better she leaned down and kissed the back of his neck, making her way down his spine and lower back. She repositioned herself and whispered playfully, "Guess who's got a boyfriend?"

Elliot tried to turn but opted to feel her hands against him instead, "Munch?"

"Try Alex." She smiled feeling Elliot's body move as he laughed.

"That's great! Is she happy?" he asked muffled from his pillow.

"Yeah, looks that way." She kissed his cheek. "Guess who wants to try for another baby?" she asked and felt Elliot's body shift under her until he was facing her. He pulled her into a kiss and then separated with a smile, "Us?" he offered a sincere answer that caused Olivia to rest back on his hips.

"Excuse me?" she smiled.

"Us." He repeated simply.

"Um…you realize Isaac isn't even seven months old right?" she repositioned herself again and kissed him. "Are you being serious?" she asked again.

"Would you want to have another one?" he asked running his fingertips over her back.

"I hadn't thought about it, but it's not like were using protection." She smiled.

"Wait…your not on anything?" He asked seriously.

Olivia smiled in shock, "How do you think we got Isaac."

"I thought that was just us forgetting the condom on the first time." He laughed realizing that they had been having unprotected sex since they'd been married and neither one was particularly upset about it.

Olivia kissed him again. "Do you want another baby?"

"I don't know." He smiled. "We could always go for a girl."

"Well, what do you say we keep doing what were doing and see what happens?" she offered.

Elliot smiled caressing her neck, "Sounds good to me."


	11. Chapter 11 I Think I Found Something

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 11 I think I Found Something

"Phone," Elliot mumbled through a sleepy haze.

"It's ringing." Olivia mumbled back equally tired. It was Sunday morning and they should be sleeping in. How dare someone call this early. The phone rang again.

"Phone," he mumbled again pulling Olivia close to him.

"We should answer it." Olivia buried her head into his chest in hopes of the phone falling silent.

"Let the machine." He muttered draping a leg over hers in an effort to keep her next to him.

When the phone finally fell silent and the answering machine cut out. Both exhaled softly and pulled one another closer in hopes of melting into the other. As Olivia thought about the possibility of offering a shower with her husband her cell phone rang.

"You can't be serious." Olivia grumbled recognizing the ring tone as hers.

"Must be someone from the office." He sighed as it rang again.

"I should answer it." She kissed his mouth softly.

"Yeah." He agreed.

"Well, in order to do that, you have to let go of me." She smiled.

"Right." He said kissing her back and then releasing her.

She rolled her body over and fumbled for the phone in what she just realized was the dark. "Sun's not even out." She mumbled locating the chord that was connected to the phone. She pulled it until her fingers recognized the phone.

"It's Sunday," She mumbled into the phone, "Very early on Sunday." She grumbled allowing Elliot to pull her back to him. "Uh huh…no leads…WHAT!" she screeched sitting straight up in the bed. "Are you kidding me? I've never been to one in my life…our cover will be blown." She explained.

Elliot sat up allowing his eyes to focus on her in the darkness as she continued to protest and offer reasons as to why she couldn't do whatever it was they were asking of her. "Sir," she protested into the phone allowing Elliot to know whom she was talking to, "The group is one thing but I wouldn't know how to act… fine…I give what time." Olivia growled, "Oh, who wakes up _that_ early…alright, bye."

Olivia flipped the phone shut. "Shouldn't have answered it." She sighed feeling Elliot kiss her naked shoulder gently.

"What's wrong?" he asked feeling her body tense up not from his touch but from the phone call.

"Guess where were going this morning?" She scoffed.

"Well I wanted to take you to breakfast actually." He kissed her neck.

"Well," She sighed and leaned into his kiss, "Better put that on hold."

"Why's that? He asked as he playfully pushed her back onto the bed and hovered over her frame kissing her softly.

"Because apparently, were going to church." She said flatly and then laughed as Elliot quickly sat back on his heels still straddling her.

"Excuse me?" He furrowed his brows.

"Oh yeah," She smiled, "It's true and it gets worse."

"What?" he questioned not really wanting to know.

"Apparently, Christians start church at the ungodly hour of eight…in the _morning_." She emphasized the last part just in case he didn't get her drift.

"Oh no." He said exhaling deeply and bowing his head.

"Oh yes," Olivia teased, "Which means we have to be up in an hour to get ready."

"We could do something else in that hour." He smiled adjusting himself to cover her body with his own.

"And what exactly did you have in mind?" she asked playfully.

"Well, we cou-" Elliot stopped when he heard the fussy cries of their son. "I'll get him." He offered.

"No, Elliot, you need your rest, besides I have a million things I need to get done before we go today." She gently pushed him off of her and pulled his shirt on over her body. "I'll see you in the morning."

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After finally calming Isaac who at first, refused to be comforted, Olivia laid his tiny body on the couch placing a pillow next to him incase he rolled. She sat at the kitchen table in the silence of the early morning and sorted through the stack of mail that had been left to grow throughout the week. Junk mail to the right and bills to the left while anything that may fall in a different category was opened on the spot.

Olivia had finished writing the checks for various bills, threw out the junk mail while saving the bills for filing when she tackled balancing the checkbook. Normally the task didn't bother her and she was done in minutes but this particular time she kept coming up four hundred dollars short. Frustrated and out of coffee she returned to the kitchen counter when she felt Elliot behind her.

"Good morning." He whispered pulling her body flush against his.

"Hey," She smiled turning to face him. "Isaac was a cranky baby." She laughed kissing him.

"Looks like you got the job done." He smiled turning to see a sleeping Isaac.

"Yeah the lullaby thing…good stuff." She rested her hands on his hips as he walked her into the counter.

"Yeah…good stuff." He whispered running his hand up her bare thigh to discover a pleasant surprise. "Your not wearing any underwear." He stated stopping at her hip and running his hand over her bare bottom.

"I didn't have time to slip them on I wanted you to-" She stopped speaking immediately when she felt him rub himself into her. "Elliot." She shook her head, "I can't."

"What's wrong?" he asked stopping the rubbing sensation but not withdrawing himself from resting against her.

"It doesn't feel right…were going to a church…I've never been to a church service before." She confessed.

"Really?" He furrowed his brows, "I didn't know that."

"I'm nervous." She continued her confession, "I don't want to do this and then go to church what if they can tell?"

"Liv," he smiled, "They're all adults, who I'm sure, make love to their spouses." He assured her.

"Elliot," she offered a compromise, "How about, instead of lunch after church…we have each other?" she hoped the offer would suffice and it did.

"Alright, but I'll have a lot of pinned up desire for you…you sure you want to wait that long?" He asked her slyly hoping he could change her mind.

"Can you balance the check book please?" she asked him still able to feel his growing erection and deciding that someone had to put a stop to their conversation.

"Huh?" he smiled cursing her one-track mind.

"It's off by four hundred." She smiled. "I'm assuming I made a mistake and didn't see a check or something." She tossed him the checkbook.

"Actually, you didn't see a withdrawal." He offered. "Munch asked to borrow some money and I forgot to write it in the ledger sorry." He spoke softly concerned she would be upset.

"El, you have to be more careful, that's a lot of money, what if I would have bounced a check or something?" she reminded him unangered. Neither one of them were concerned about sharing a bank account once they had gotten married but Elliot learned quickly that his technique of spending money until his gut told him to stop wouldn't fly with Olivia. She was masterful at finding ways to cut costs, save here and there, still look good and eat well. Her financial skills left more money in the bank account than Elliot was familiar with seeing.

"Your not upset?" he asked taking a pen out of the drawer and writing it in the ledger.

"No, but what did Munch need so much money for?" she asked pouring Elliot's coffee.

"Um, he kind of forced me to promise not to say anything, I have to respect that Liv." He spoke apologetically.

"Well," She handed him the cup, "Can you at least tell me if he's okay?"

"Yeah, I think he'll be fine…just hit a rough spot." He told her handing the checkbook back after making the adjustments.

"Okay, well I trust your judgment with our friends…I got to get ready." She kissed his lips savoring the coffee she found in the corner of his mouth. "If you lay Isaac down you can share the shower with me." She smiled.

Elliot moved quickly, "Done!"

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"You think the church will burst into flames when I walk in?" Olivia asked Elliot who was caring the car seat that secured Isaac as they walked down the sidewalk that led to the church.

"Liv, you're a great person, Heaven is probably happy to see you stopping by." He assured her. Elliot was the confidant one in his faith. Olivia had prayed once in the last ten years and that was when she found out she was pregnant with Isaac. "Now why exactly did we come here?"

"Cragen said just look around and see something." She smiled slipping her hand into Elliot's as they walked through the front door of the church.

"Good morning." The female usher smiled at Olivia and offered her a bulletin packet before they entered the sanctuary. "Would you like to know where the nursery is?" she asked happily.

"Sure," Elliot agreed but was cut off.

"No, actually, I think we'll take him in if that's okay?" she held one hand on the car seat, a motion that told Elliot there was no way she was letting Isaac out of their sight.

As they walked in Elliot smiled, "Celeste, it's okay, they would have taken care of him." He offered trying to sooth her as they filed in the back row.

"Steven, I'm not about to leave him with a stranger, you know why were here so please don't expect me to cut him loose." She whispered voicing her worries.

"Your right, I'm sorry." He said sitting next to her and taking Isaac out of the car seat and handing him to his wife whom he wrapped his arm around as the service started.

She wasn't sure exactly how Isaac fell asleep in the midst of the live worship band, but whatever did the trick was just fine with her. She laid him on his blanket in the padded pew and flipped through the bulletin announcements finding nothing of particular interest other than an interesting story that she thought would be rude to read while the pastor spoke.

Olivia was surprised to see herself actually interested in what the pastor had to say; it wasn't the hell fire and brimstone preaching she thought she would hear. Instead she found herself laughing at jokes the pastor made and enjoying the environment in general. For a split second she had forgotten that they were searching within the congregation for a perp who was responsible for the rapes of seven women, the murder of one husband and the brutal beatings of the other six.

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Olivia shifted back into the arms of Elliot, she had held up her end of the compromise in what proved to be a great time in bed with her husband.

"I don't know how you have so much energy for this Elliot?" she laughed nearly out of breath.

"Trust me, if you were me and _you_ got to make love to you…you'd eat your Wheaties and take your vitamins." He smiled kissing her.

"Oh shut up." She laughed.

"No really, I like knowing we can make love to one another whenever we want." He pulled her closer to him resting his hand on her hip. "I love knowing that you're always with me and that you want me as bad as I want you."

"I don't remember you being so confidant when we first met." She teased him. The truth of the matter was she loved how confidant he had become with her. How willing he was to tell her her own intimate thoughts as if he could read her mind.

"I can see it in your eyes when you look at me Liv." He grinned, "You always want me."

"Is that so?" she asked knowing he was absolutely right. There were times at work she had to leave his presence in order to not shove him into an interrogation room and have her way with him.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I turn you on…all the time." He laughed.

"And you think I don't see when you make excuses not to leave the cover of your desk?" she smiled grazing his inner thigh and working up to what was uniquely him indicating she'd seen him have an erection at work…probably more than once. "Yeah, I notice things too." She whispered. "Or how about when you blush when I walk out of the precinct gym? You watch me work out don't you?" She smiled knowing she caught him.

"Does that bother you?" he narrowed his eyes.

"No. Do you enjoy yourself?" She asked.

"Actually, yeah." He kissed her softly. "Want to go out for lunch or stay in?" he asked, "Maybe a movie?"

"No horror flicks, I've had my share." She laughed.

"Okay, well, let me shower and well go out huh?" he tried to leave the bed but was stopped when she put her arms around his shoulders and felt his chest rise and fall.

"I wanted to ask you something." She kissed his cheek from behind, "How are you doing? The dream I mean?" she clarified knowing he could worm his way out of an unspecific question.

Elliot exhaled and his shoulders fell, as he reached up and rubbed her forearm with his palm, "I'm still having it, it's still bothering me." He admitted quietly.

"Anything I can do for you?" she asked kissing the contours of his neck and shoulder.

"I'm sure it will go away soon." He mumbled and stood to his feet to leave but was stopped when she wouldn't let go of his hand.

"Come here." She whispered pulling him back to her as she stood to embrace him.

"You're a good man." She smiled searching his face to make sure it registered with him as she held his cheeks in her palms. "I love you." She embraced him again. "I'll get Isaac while you shower okay?"

She turned to leave when he called back to her, "Liv,"

Olivia turned to face him as he closed the gap between their naked bodies, "what?" She whispered seeing his face full of an emotion she couldn't recognize as he pulled her close to him and kissed her softly exploring her body with his hands as he explored her mouth with his tongue, "I love you too."

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"Elliot, I don't feel so good." Olivia moaned lying on the couch as the movie ended.

"Maybe it was that carton of whoppers you polished off without sharing." He smiled then realized she wasn't playing. "Flu?" he asked.

"No, don't think so." She struggled to sit up. "Can you check on Isaac please." She asked resting her head against the sofa.

Elliot returned in a matte of seconds but saw the stress in Olivia's features. "You worried about Wednesday?" he asked sitting next to her noticing her clammy skin when he touched her.

"No…yeah." She finally admitted and laid her head on his chest. "Can I ask you something Elliot?"

"Ask away."

"Do you actually believe what that pastor said today about uncondional love?" she rested her hand on his abdomen and felt his hold her a little tighter.

"Absolutely Liv."

"How do you know God loves you?" She asked softly.

Elliot was always aware of her feelings in relation to God. She proclaimed freely that he didn't exist but deep down she knew he did. It was the term 'father' that she had a hard time grasping and so refused to accept that there was a creator that loved her. He bent his head to her ear and whispered softly, "He gave me you."

She smiled up at him and rested her head on his lap extending her legs across the free space on the sofa. "I've had this feeling for a month now that something is wrong." She whispered staring at the wall as she rested a hand on his knee.

Elliot furrowed her brows knowing full well he was having the same darkness creeping in on his own heart. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, it just hits me sometimes, late at night when I can't sleep. When I can sleep I have nightmares and sometimes when I'm holding Isaac I'm scared I'll never see him again." She continued to stare at the wall her eyes stayed open as if caught in headlights although her voice was calm and collected. "Do you know what I'm talking about Elliot?" she asked.

"Liv, were both new parents and were both scared to death of hurting Isaac. I think that our minds are playing games with us."

"Minds?" she caught his use of the plural.

Elliot realized his slip and her command of linguistics but couldn't bring himself to tell her that he also was having dreams that confused him, dreams of her cheating on him, dreams of loosing Isaac and dreams of eating his gun…and the soldier that was him killing his son. "I'm scared too Liv, but I think were doing a good job with him don't you?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, I wish I knew more though…talk about no motherly instinct." She chuckled.

"That's not true Liv." He smiled, "Your such a lioness when it comes to him that it's funny."

"How's that?" she smiled faintly.

"I thought you were gonna drop kick the usher at church." He laughed rubbing her abdomen, hoping it elicited the same feeling in her that it did in him. He enjoyed the fact that she was no longer concerned with the scars that remained on her abdomen. It seemed, as long as the date that was a constant reminder, was gone, she was completely uninhibited by his touch and he made every effort to touch her.

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Olivia laid Isaac's sleeping form back in his crib after his two O'clock in the morning feeding. He seemed to enjoy eating at that particular hour because it was still the only time he woke up to be fed. Olivia whispered softly to him, "I don't know why you love eating at two, but your killing me honey." She smiled and tucked him in.

She returned to the kitchen grabbing a glass of juice and took a small drink leaning against the counter. It was her third or fourth drink that she caught the church bulletin on the counter and remembered the story that she had wanted to read, it was something about a boy who squandered his families fortune but his Father still loved him. She opened the folded paper and took another drink of her juice as she browsed the information. It seemed the church had classes for just about anyone with any interest. She was surprised to even find martial arts interest group and a group that met regularly for coffee. "Maybe being Christian isn't so bad." She muttered to herself.

It was the pale pink loose paper that was an insert that caught her eye. She hadn't noticed it before but she looked at it after she thought she recognized a name on it. "Gina Fairbanks…director." She read out loud, not sure what it meant but her gut told her it was important. She flipped the paper over and read the groups that were offered as she took another drink of juice and stopped mid swallow stunned at the connection she'd just made.

"Elliot!" she yelled placing the juice on the counter haphazardly and running back to the bedroom. "Elliot, wake up!" she yelled again entering the room. "Now El." She flipped the lights on and watched him cover his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked sensing her tenseness.

"I think I found something."


	12. Chapter 12 What Am I Looking At Liv?

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 12 What Am I Looking At Liv?

"Look at this bulletin." She said tossing it to him as she practically ran to the closet.

"It's pink." Elliot said still unable to focus his shocked eyes in the bright light.

"Your good Elliot," She said sarcastically, "Where's my gear bag?" she called back to him riffling through the closet.

"I put it on my side to give you more space." He said, "What am I looking at Liv?" He called back to her as he opened the pamphlet.

"Look who the director of the support groups is." She instructed as she pulled her gear bag from the walk in closet and tossed in on the bed.

"Gina Fairbanks?" He said shutting his eyes tightly and reopening them.

"Yep." Olivia agreed unzipping the bag and pulling out various items.

"Okay, so she's the director big deal." He said wanting to get back to sleep.

"Look at the main pamphlet under activity groups." She said still digging.

"Hey, they got a karate group here, is that what your all worked up about? If you want to go-"

"Got'em." She said holding up a pair of white kick shoes.

"What am I looking at Olivia?"

"Three years ago Otomix made this shoe for martial arts."

"Fantastic. Can I go to sleep?"

"Elliot!" She snapped, "Listen. You remember the foot print that had no tread and CSU couldn't match it?"

"Yeah,"

"I thought it looked familiar, but I couldn't place it until now, look." She said turning the kicking shoe over and revealing a completely tread free sole.

"No tread." He whispered.

"Elliot, this shoe was never on the market." She arched her brow and pressed her lips knowing she found something.

"Wait, honey, if it was never on the market…how'd you get them?" he asked examining the shoe.

"The shoes were gifts, they were given to all black belts as a test run, I never really wore mine because I never competed." She explained looking at the other shoe and memorizing the contours of the naked shoe.

"Test run for what?"

"They were trying to determine if having absolutely no traction on the soul would increase power in the kicks…long story short the shoe never made it." She said encouraging him to just accept that she'd found a lead.

"Okay, so if this is the type of shoe were looking for where does it fit in the case?" he asked tossing the shoe back into the gear bag.

"I think that we can cross reference the people in the martial arts group with the women in the support group…and see what we get…it's not like we have anything else to go on." She stood waiting for his opinion.

"Alright, we'll talk to Cragen tomorrow…now please, can you come to bed?"

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Olivia sat up after the obnoxious sound of the alarm slammed into her mind. She turned it off wanting to give Elliot a few more minutes of sleep. When she left the bed she was careful to bring the comforter back over Elliot's body to save him from experiencing a draft. She gathered her work clothes from the closet and hung them on the back of the door of the bathroom. The shower was anything but comforting without the presence of her husband causing her to rush though the motions of washing this and that.

After towel drying her body and slipping on her underclothes she bent over the sink to brush her teeth making a mental note of things she had to do for the day, _Pay Mrs. Reynoso, dog food, oh, I have to send in my range certification, crap._ She thought as she spat and then rinsed with water pulling out the bottle of Listerine and took a swig. As her mouth burned she continued, _Refrigerator is next to empty, and tomorrow Elliot's car is back in the shop._ She smiled to herself and spat the used mouthwash in the sink.

Olivia wiped her mouth and reached for her watch, she secured it firmly on her left wrist and then froze when she noticed the time and then realized she hadn't heard so much as a peep from Isaac. She moved quickly to slip into her slacks and through her olive green shirt on buttoning it only once to hold it together over her form.

She was keenly aware of her sweaty palms and racing heart beat as she left the bathroom taking notice of Elliot who was still sleeping. When she stepped out into the hallway she felt the chill of the house that brought about the fear that gripped her. It was when she stepped into Isaac's room and slowly approached the crib noticing it was empty that the fear became terror.

"ELLLLIIIIIOOTTT!"

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At the sound of Olivia's shrieking voice Elliot darted down the hallway to the master bedroom to see Olivia yelling and sitting straight up in the bed. He moved to her quickly embracing her tense body tightly.

"Wake up!" he told her sharply until he felt her body relax and her voice lower. "It's a dream, shhh, your okay." He soothed her.

"Where's Isaac," her voice was frantic again, "he's not in his crib." She tried to struggle free to check on her son.

"Liv, I couldn't sleep, I got up early and got him ready, Isaac is in the living room in the play pin. What happened?" he said separating her from his embrace to see her, "Liv, your nose is bleeding."

Olivia raised her hand to her nose while she looked bewildered at Elliot, "He hit me." She whispered almost dumfounded as Elliot retrieved a washrag from the bathroom.

"Who hit you Liv?" he asked sitting next to her and gently dabbing her nose.

"I don't know," She said holding her head slightly back and allowing him to take care of the blood. "I walked into the nursery and Isaac was gone…I yelled for you…and when I turned around someone hit me."

"The case bothering more than you're telling me Liv?" He asked out of concern.

"No, but I do want it to be over, I don't like Isaac being in the field with us, " she forced a little laugh, "Little guy can't even eat solids yet."

Elliot smiled at her attempt to lighten the situation, he kissed her softly on the mouth and leaned his forehead against hers, "Love you Liv."

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"Benson, this better be good." Cragen said folding his arms and leaning on Elliot's desk, "I can't believe you called me in the middle of the night to tell me about your shoes."

Elliot smiled at the fact that Cragen still referred to her as Benson but he also smiled at the fact that Olivia had called Cragen in the middle of the night, _she must have not stayed in bed to long after I dozed off._ He thought. _Sneaky_.

"Here me out before you cream me Cap." Olivia smiled retrieving the kicking shoe from her work bag."

"That's ugly." Fin quipped, "I can't believe you own that."

"It's for the case Fin, breath." She tilted her head and smiled. Even in a case Fin still insisted on looking good. "Where's Munch?" She asked noticing his absence, "Shouldn't he hear this?"

"Munch is out building another conspiracy theory to run by Isaac," Fin said annoyed at his partner's absence, "I'm sure he'll be back when he finds out who shot JFK."

"Olivia, I don't have all day." Cragen urged her along.

"Alright," She said walking to the board and removing the picture of the footprint from one of the crime scenes. "This is our crime scene print that we couldn't match because there isn't any traction."

"Yippee Skippy." Fin interjected.

"Well, Mr.-I-Got-A-Bug-Up-My-Ass," Olivia smiled and shook her head at his impatience, "This is the type of shoe I think were looking for." She handed the shoe to Cragen and allowed him to inspect it and pass it to Fin as Elliot took a drink from his coffee.

"How do we know there aren't a million other shoe out there without traction or the perp didn't devise it himself?" Cragen asked seeing if her theory could hold water.

"Well, that's where this comes into play." She said holding the pink piece of paper from the church bulletin in her hand. "Apparently, Gina Fairbanks wasn't just a victim, she's the director of the support groups." Olivia explained.

"And," Elliot interjected, "Apparently, the church has some sort of karate club."

"So what's the motive Liv?" Fin asked genuinely interested.

"Well, I'm not even sure if Fairbanks is who were looking for, but, I think we can cross reference the people in the martial arts group with the people in the support group and see what looks promising." She suggested flicking a pencil between her fingers.

"Wait," Cragen interrupted, "If that is a shoe for martial arts, there has to be millions just on the East Coast, how do you know it's from that group."

"Well, honestly, we don't." She confessed, "But, what we do know is that this shoe never made it to the market and only people with a black belt will have them."

"What's the purpose of the shoe? Why no traction." Cragen asked.

"No traction means faster rotation of the body," Olivia immediately went into an explanation of the shoe not realizing she would leave her self exposed to something she didn't want to share. "More body rotation in a kick means more power." She offered, "The problem with there being no traction is that people would slip on normal floors…safety issue. The shoe never went to mass production."

"How the hell do you know so much about this crap?" Fin asked suspiciously.

Elliot interjected quickly, "We called one of my Marine friends who's really in to this sort of stuff, loves martial arts."

Olivia looked at him with a thankful smile. It wasn't that she was embarrassed of her skills, she just didn't want people to know, there were laws and rules that came with her training and she didn't want to have to go up against the NYPD to be approved.

"Has no body caught the obvious?" Fin asked.

"What's that?" Elliot asked furrowing his brows.

"Gina Fairbanks told me she separated form the church-"

"The church that she's a director of." Olivia finished his thought for him.

"No, why's Fairbanks playing us about that?" Fin asked the open forum.

Cragen shook his head in agreement of the speculation "Good question. Stabler, Benson, go find out. Fin…where the hell is your partner?"


	13. Chapter 13 Nickel For Your Thoughts

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 13 A nickel for your thoughts

A/N: Shorty but I'm taking the kids trick or treatin

Elliot turned the blinker to the crown Victoria on indicating he would be turning right.

"Left please." Olivia said flatly as she made notes from Fin's report of Fairbanks.

"Left?" Elliot asked confused.

"Yes, it's the opposite of right." She snapped irritated.

Elliot, took into consideration the night she had and let the comment go responding gently, "It's a little lat, I'll go around the block." He informed her. As he made the turn he looked at Olivia who seemed to be debating something in her mind. She closed the case file and let out an overdue breath.

'Due to inflation," he said trying to lighten the mood, "a nickel for your thoughts?"

Olivia smiled at his attempt at humor and took hold of his hand, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that."

Elliot shook his head telling her he understood and accepted her apology.

"Can you do me a favor?" She asked without a hint of playfulness in her voice.

"Sure." He responded as he pulled into the left hand turn lane to circle the block, "If it's legal that is." He squeezed her hand in an effort to sooth her.

"It's legal, but your not going to like it." She offered a weak smile and ran her hand through her hair.

"Try me." He said making another left and working to get the car into the right hand lane.

"I want you to go to Huang's with me." She asked staring straight ahead but still feeling Elliot's shocked stare on her body.

"What!" he blurted taken back by her request.

"ELLIOT!" she shrieked bracing herself against the dash, "STOP!"

Elliot turned just in time to stop the crown Victoria from colliding with the blue Infiniti in front of them. Elliot offered an apology by way of a gentle wave and meek smile as the man looked at him via the Infiniti's rear view mirror. Elliot's apology was met with the wave of a middle finger causing Olivia to laugh.

"I wonder if he knows he just flipped off a cop?" she smiled.

Elliot smiled and made a right, "That's probably why we got flipped off." He laughed pulling the car onto the street that Olivia originally requested.

"_We_ didn't get the bird, _you_ did." She smiled noticing that while Elliot hadn't told her yes or no, he was making all the necessary turns and lane adjustments to got the Huang's office.

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"May I help you?" The stoic looking redhead asked as Olivia and Elliot approached the counter.

"Yeah, we're here to see Dr. Huang." Elliot said softly not wanting to draw attention to himself.

"Do you have an appointment?" She asked peering over glasses that Olivia decided were too small for her face. The women opened the appointment book and waited for Olivia's response.

"No." Olivia offered, "But, I'm sure he'll see us." She said trying to be patient, but Elliot knew she was already wound up form a lack of sleep and the angst of the new lead.

"Dr. Huang will only see you if you have an appointment." She said offering a fake smile. "Are you an agent?"

"No, I'm not." Olivia said running her tongue along her cheek which told Elliot she was ready to loose her temper.

"I'm sorry ma'am we don't accept walk-in's." she offered a smile that said she really had no further interest in Olivia and closed the appointment book.

"Look," Olivia said forcing herself to remain civil, "I need to see him, if you tell him Olivia Benson is here, and he'll see me."

"I'm sorry, he's in a meeting." She smiled back again.

"Yeah?" Olivia said sarcastically, as she pulled out her badge and gun placing them on the counter. "Will this do? Public service worker?"

"All you had to do was state your position." She said scolding Olivia.

Olivia leaned forward, "If you did your damn job I wouldn't have to." She snapped.

"Liv, come on," Elliot said allowing her to re-holster the weapon and pocket her badge as the woman made the call. They sat in the waiting area in silence.

'Detective, how are you?" Huang greeted them. "What brings you by?" he asked taking notice of Olivia's tired appearance, her features were darkened with worry and her eyes were tired from lack of sleep. "You know what?" Huang said with a smile, "Why don't we talk in my office?" he said motioning them to come down the hall.

"Christine," Huang spoke to the stoic secretary, "hold my calls please and tell agent Ybarra something came up and I'll reschedule for tomorrow."

"Yes, Sir." She replied avoiding Olivia's eye contact at any costs.

Huang walked the two stubborn detectives to his office in silence knowing that neither one of them would want to be in a government office surrounded by feds much less being in a government office surrounded by feds _and_ talking to a shrink. He suspected it was personal business that brought them by based on Olivia's demeanor but offered them the professional courtesy of allowing them to tell him.

"Please, take a seat." Huang said, "Water?"

"No." they both responded as if someone had just run over Team CrackerJack.

"How can I help the One-Six?" he asked sitting in the chair.

Olivia took a deep breath and dove headfirst, "I need to know if I'm loosing my mind."

The bluntness of the remark shocked Elliot enough that he turned to look at her with eyebrows raised as he blinked and looked back at Huang who seemed to take the question in stride. "Why would you think your loosing your mind Olivia?" he asked her softly.

_Yeah, what the hell are you talking about Liv_? He thought to himself but remained quiet knowing it was probably killing her just to have to ask the question. She was a woman, always poised and ready for anything, her character was calculated accompanied by a methodical organization that brought order to Elliot's life. This feeling of being out of control, of questioning her own sanity was uniquely not his wife.

Olivia stood to her feet letting out a controlled breath, as she wrapped one hand around her own waist and rubbed the back of her neck with her other. "I had a dream last night."

Huang looked at Elliot and could see that Elliot probably knew about the dream but this particular visit was a surprise. He looked back at Olivia, "About what?" he asked forcing her to be specific. Olivia moved her suit jacket to the back of her body and placed her hands on her hips as she bit her bottom lip, "About my son." She said in a whisper.

"What happened in the dream Olivia?" Huang asked sensing it would probably be on the lines of Elliot's but kept his assumption to himself.

"I walked into Isaac's room and saw an empty crib," she spoke softly, almost ashamed it seemed, as she starred at Huang's tie clip in an effort to not meet his eye, "I yelled for Elliot and when I turned around this man him me in the face." She paused.

"Olivia," Huang smiled, "It was a nightmare."

"George," she blurted exasperated, "I woke up with a bloody nose! That's not normal, I mean, what the hell is going on?"

Elliot watched as his wife searched for answers he couldn't give her. While he knew she was deeply bothered by the dream, he didn't know it caused her to question her sanity or even her stability.

"Olivia," Huang leaned in offering her a comforting but small smile, "Dreams can sometimes be so real to people that their bodies manifest what their subconscious projects." He explained hoping it made sense and then offered a further explanation when she stared back at him blankly.

"Okay," he tried another route, "When a rape victim tells you she has a nightmare, what does she usually tell you about the nightmare?" he asked.

Olivia followed his reasoning, "They usually say their body feels as though it was actually happening again." She whispered making the connection in her mind.

"Olivia," Huang offered a further explanation, "just like a person who has a sexually explicit dream, when they wake up they can still feel that their body has responded…look." He instructed her as he started plugging away at the keyboard to his computer. He turned the monitor to face her. "This is a website that documents the things I've just told you."

Olivia squinted seeing link after link that seemed to have the same issue, "So…what? Now I'm some kind of case?" she asked as if she couldn't win for loosing.

"Not at all Olivia." He assured her, "You're a new parent under an extreme amount of stress with a case that probably bothers your sub conscience more than you realize."

Olivia looked at the website again noticing Elliot was equally interested. "So," She began, "What your telling me is that my mind perceived the dream as real and when I was hit, my body acted accordingly?"

"Yes." He stated simply.

"Is that normal?" she asked searching for someone to tell her she was normal because the flurry of confusion that surrounded her made her feel anything but that.

"It's not a normal thing…but its certainly not uncommon either." He told her, and offered her another answer.

"Olivia you're a strong woman but even you have a breaking point. Combine the stress of having a new baby in the house, the stress of your job, the nerves of being undercover and I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner."

"So, I'm not loosing my mind?" she asked just to make sure almost as if she were asking him to diagnose her as sane.

"No, but you need to find a way to get your stress level down or things like this will continue and it may get worse." He told her honestly, "If you want, after your current case dies down, I'll talk to Cragen about getting you some time off."

"I already had maternity leave." She whispered.

"This is a common thing Liv, from what I understand the NYPD doesn't frown on it. Give it some thought." He encouraged her.

Olivia stood to her feet with Elliot following suit, "Okay, we'll think about it." She offered with a weak smile.

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Olivia exited the federal building and walked to the car in silence with Elliot by her side. As she slipped into the passenger seat she buckled herself in and immediately reached for his hand when he got in the car.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." She said equally soft.

"I know what will cheer you up." He smiled.

"Yeah?" she asked with a smiled.

"Let's go question Fairbanks and then-"

"Hold on," she said reaching for her ringing phone, "Benson," she said hating to use her maiden name but it was less confusing. "Uh huh…really? That many in New York…huh…yeah were on our way…okay bye." She hung up her phone.

"Back to the house." She smiled.

"For what?" he asked pulling away from the curb.

Olivia bit her bottom lip, "Looks like we got a lead."

A/N: Alright this chapter was just in order to answer some of the emails I got about the bloody nose…yep it's possible.


	14. Chapter 14 Isn't She The Victim?

"Alright Fin, what do you got?" Olivia called out to Fin who was hanging up the receiver to the phone and standing to meet the two detectives.

"How about a bigger mess?" Fin quipped pulling a case file off of his desk and walking to the viewing board to announce his findings.

"I thought you had a lead?" Elliot furrowed his brows waiting for the bad news.

"We do have a lead," Fin responded, "right into another dead end." He exhaled handing both Elliot and Olivia a packet of paper.

Olivia flipped through the thick packet and looked back at Fin, "Please tell me these aren't all of our suspects."

"Well, then I guess I'll keep my mouth shut." Fin folded his arms indicating that they were.

"How did you come up with all of these?" Elliot asked flipping slowly through the papers as if memorizing the photos the packet contained.

"We'll, Munch and I followed Olivia's advise and checked all black belts in New York, then cross referenced them to the group at the church-"

"There's no way all of these people go to that church, we'd be looking through the entire congregation Fin." Elliot began poking holes in his theory.

Fin smacked his lips, disapproving of Elliot cutting him off, "I see Liv hasn't taught you patience." He quipped, "We're not looking at the congregation, but the problem is that the only names we came up with were these." Fin said posting three pictures of two young boys and a girl onto the chalk board.

"They're kids." Olivia said shocked looking at the two Hispanic boys who seemed about 13, perhaps 14 while the Caucasian female seemed to be just a little older.

"Yep, however, this one is registered as a lethal weapon." Fin said pointing to one of the Hispanic children.

"Are you kidding me?" Elliot smirked, "Why is a child registered as lethal? That's ridiculous." He scoffed.

"No," Olivia began to explain, "It's not about skill, its about formality." Olivia said exhaling and drawing a line under the young boys photo. "If your over a fourth degree black belt, you are required by law to register, in case you should ever assault anyone." She exhaled and it suddenly dawned on Elliot why Olivia never mentioned her own training. Had she, she would have been a liability to the police force and a sitting duck for lawsuits.

"So, your telling me a kid is doing this?" Elliot asked in a tone that suggested he didn't buy her theory.

"I'm speculating," She furrowed her brows at his tone, "I'm questioning and looking for an answer Elliot." She walked back to the board, "Fin what's this boys name?" she asked looking at the photo of this first boy. Fin flipped through his file and answered, "Raul Martinez and the other boy is Oscar Ceritos." Olivia wrote their names quickly, replaced the chalk and stared intently. "What are we looking for?" she mumbled, "This got us nowhere quick." She shook her head and rubbed her neck.

"Look guys," Elliot chimed in, "I don't see a child being able to commit these crimes, and I think we're forgetting one important thing." He said picking up the chalk and circling Olivia's previous word, 'kids'. "What does a teenager want with seven infants?"

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Mrs. Reynoso opened the apartment door with a smile, "Ah, my two beautiful people, come in, come in." she opened the door further allowing both Elliot and Olivia to enter.

"Mrs. Reynoso, how was he?" Olivia smiled embracing her warmly.

"Extra grumpy today Olivia, he's ill but I managed to get him asleep." She smiled pulling a bottle of children's Tylenol from the cabinet.

"He's been fussy," Olivia confessed as Elliot walked down the hall to retrieve their son, "I thought it was because I was trying to wing him off of breast milk and onto formula." She paused waiting for the woman's rebuttal. Olivia had a tremendous amount of respect for the older woman that she entrusted her son with and was grateful that she could come to her with questions when she didn't know what to do.

"I hate to burst your bubble honey." Mrs. Reynoso smiled apologetically, "but Isaac has a temperature, I hope you weren't planning on sleeping tonight.

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Olivia staggard to the kitchen and ran her hand through her uncombed hair. The morning had come painfully quick and Mrs. Reynoso had been correct, neither she nor Elliot slept through the night between Isaac's fussing and eating and then fussing even more, she knew they would both be operating on zero sleep.

She found herself too tired to blink as she poured a cup of coffee and reached for another as she felt Elliot's arms embrace her from behind, "Good morning." She said gruffly from lack of sleep.

"Is that what they're calling it these days?" his voice was just as rough even as he tried to tease.

"Coffee?" she asked as he embraced her tightly placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Can you put it in a keg, I think were gonna both need to tap it today." He smiled accepting the cup and then furrowing his brows, "How come your not dressed?" he asked taking a sip of his coffee and looking at Olivia who was standing in her pajama's while her hair faced every direction imaginable.

"I have to take Isaac to the doctor, his fever isn't breaking." She informed him, "I called Cragen and Mrs. Reynoso and let them know I'd be late."

"Lucky…you get to play hooky." He smiled kissing her on her cheek. "I'll see you this afternoon then and well go see Fairbanks huh?" He asked gathering his work bag and opening the front door.

"Elliot." Olivia stopped him causing him to turn, "Come here." She smiled and pulled him closer to her with his tie. Olivia smiled and kissed him softly running her tongue along the crevice of his lips and sucking gently on his lower lip as she fixed his tie. She let out a sigh of contentment as she parted lips with him. "I couldn't let you go out with that knot." she whispered, "If you don't catch a case tonight...I can help you take it off." she smiled seductively as she stepped closer to his body feeling him rise at the mear suggestion of being with her.

Elliot searched her eyes knowing that inspite of her bed head and pajamas she was absolutly sexy. He kissed her engaging her completely as he slid his hand under her shirt grazing her abdomen and making his way to her breast. Olivia moaned feeling her breast react to him as she kissed him freely back. Elliot seperated from her lips and whispered, "I could call Cragen and tell him I'll be late too." he suggested.

Olivia smiled and stepped back, "Na, I'm good." she shrugged her shoulders and smiled knowing she had just turned Elliot completely on and walking away from him would be torture.

"Olivia!" he smiled knowing he had walked into her trap.

"I'll see you at work." She called back to him as she disappeared into the hallway.

Elliot smiled at her deviousness and walked out the door already counting down the hours until the work day would be over.

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"Sorry I'm late." Olivia called out to the crew that was huddeled around Elliot's desk.

"Hey, how's my boy?" Elliot asked pouring a cup of coffee and handing it Olivia who greatfully accepted it and let her fingers hover over his as she took the cup and smiled...more torture never hurt anyone.

"He's got an earache but nothing the doctor said wouldn't go away with medicine." she took a sip, "Hey, you didn't talk to Fairbanks yet did you?" she asked returning to her desk and looking for her notes from the last interview that was conducted with her.

"Nope, I was waiting for you." he smiled, "You antsy or what?" he asked noticing she seemed a little too anxious to go perp hunting.

"A little." She confessed as she retrieved the notes. "Ready?" she asked looking up and offering a small lick of her lips and half smile. Foreplay could be mean.

"Absolutley." He said picking up the keys and heading out of the bullpen with her. "Is it your intention to try and seduce me at work Detective?" He asked playfully as they walked down the steps of the one six to the car.

She smiled as she slid into the passenger seat, "You betch'ya."

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"Who is it?" Came the voice from within the house.

"New York Police, Detectives Benson and Stabler." Elliot responded and waved his badge over the peephole.

"Good morning detectives, how can I help you?" Gina Fairbanks asked through a smile that Olivia felt was far to perky for the morning.

"Actually ma'am," Olivia began, "Can we come in? We'd like to talk to you about the case."

Gina Fairabanks looked at them both with suspicion, "Can this wait until my husband gets home?" she asked.

"We'll we just had some loose ends to tie up." Olivia assured her wondering why she wasn't as adamant about helping this time.

"I'd rather wait for my husband." she spoke again.

"Why?" Elliot asked through a cocky grin, "You need a lawyer for something?"

Gina Fairbanks folded her arms and narrowed her eyes at Elliot, "Are you implying something detective?"

"No." he shook his head, "It's just that the last detective who interviewed you said you were very helpful, I was wondering why you don't want to help now."

"First of all, detective, my husband is an adoption lawyer...not a criminal lawyer, secondly, we were the victim's...so don't forget that!" she spat angrily.

"Ma'am, we understand that your the victim here." Olivia stepped in to try and salvage the conversation, "We just wanted to go over your story again because we have absolutley no leads." Olivia lied on the last part but after hearing her husband was an adoption attorney she could have swore she heard opportunity knocking, "Please Mrs. Fairbanks, we've got nothing left to go on here." Olivia seemed generally concerned but Elliot sensed she was baiting her although he didn't know why.

Reluctantly, she let the two detectives enter the house. "Please take a seat, I'll get you both something to drink." she said as she left for the kitchen. Elliot and Olivia began the task of inspecting the home without actually looking like they were inspecting it.

"Here you are detectives." Faribanks returned and offered them both a bottled water, "Now, please, how can I help you? My daughter will be home shortly and I don't want you here when she comes home." she informed them.

"Your daughter?" Elliot asked, "I thought you only had one child, the infant that was kidnapped?"

"That's the child you asked about detective." she said openign her own bottle of water as Olivia watched and took notice that she was right handed.

"How old is your other child?" Olivia asked.

"She's not the one kidnapped." Fairbanks said defensively.

"Mrs. Fairbanks, we're hear to help and we need you to answer our questions." Olivia said as compassionatly as possible.

"She's fourteen." she said flatley.

Olivia shook her head as Elliot wrote in his note pad, "Mrs. Fairbanks, can you tell us what happened at the meeting you attended that made you want to leave the church?" Olivia asked.

"I told the last detective that the leader asked me for a picture of my son, it freaked me out, so I left." she said taking a sip from her water.

"I see." Olivia said knowing the woman would be sticking to her story from here on out and after an hour of interviewing that was exactly what she had done, offering no other leads or information, not so much as a slip up for the detectives to work in their favor.

"Well Mrs. Fairbanks," Elliot said standing, "I think we have everything for now, if we need anything else we'll stop by." he smiled as Olivia stood to her feet and headed for the door. As they walked down the steps of the stoop they mumbled to one another.

"She seems to stick to the story, maybe she's not who were looking for." Elliot said opening the drivers door and talking to Olivia over the car.

"No, she's the one, I just can't prove it." Olivia said getting back into the car and rubbing her eyes.

"Tired?" He asked starting the car.

"Yeah, and now I have mascara in my eye." She moaned and flipped down the visor that had a small mirror as Elliot pulled away. "STOP!" she yelled suddenly.

Elliot slammed on the breaks, "What Liv? You can wash it off at the station house."

"Shut up and look in your rearview mirror at the person going into the Fairbanks' house." She said looking back at the mirror in hopes of not looking completely obvious.

"Sonovabitch." Elliot whispered watching the young girl in a martial arts uniform embrace Gina Fairbanks and walk up the stairs.

Olivia flipped frantically through the files as Elliot parked the car next to the curb again. "Look." she said holding the picture of the young female Fin had done a search on, "It's her."

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Elliot placed the drops of medicine into Isaac's ear as he slept soundly in his crib. Olivia, seemed to be in desperate need of some private time which she happily spent in the shower. While he wanted to join her she asked that he not. Perhaps it was foreplay but he knew that the last two days were rough with the Huang meeting and then the sleepless night with Isaac.

He sat at the desk of their office and looke over the notes he had written on the fairbanks interview. He glossed over the paperwork Fin had provided them as well as the CSU reports and while he knew they had found a weak link, he had no idea what chain it was in. It was easy to point a finger but coming up with evidence to get a warrant was another matter entirely. He exhaled deeply and leaned back in the chair rubbing his face.

"Hey," Olivia whispered from the doorway.

Elliot smiled seeing her in her black terry cloth robe, "Hey, how was the shower?" He asked holding out his arm for her to sit on his lap.

"Relaxing." she replied simply as she rested her head on his chest, "Why are you still working?"

"Some things were bugging me." He responded wrapping his arms around her tighter and feeling her damp hair soak through his shirt.

"Like what?" She asked keeping her head on his chest but retrieving the file so they could both look at it. "Well, Casey said that we don't have enough for a warrant yet and we need to keep looking."

"And that bugs you?" She smiled softly.

"No, what bugs me is that Gina Fairbanks doesn't have the same last name of the lawyer we interviewed that is suppose to be her husband." He said pointing out the difference.

"So," She quipped "Lot's of women keep their maiden name." she offered.

"Yeah, but look at this," he said flipping a page of the file and noticing she used the shampoo that he loved to smell on her. "The lawyer's last name is Grendagio...so is the girl's we saw going into the house this morning."

"That still doesn't mean anything." She responded noticing he'd left his work clothes on and his tie firmly tied.

"It's not normal...I think that we-"

Olivia sat up and kissed him cutting of his diatribe that wasn't making any since to her anyhow. She rand her hands over his chest as she took his bottom lip into her mouth. She rested her hands on the nap of his neck and deepened the kiss further feeling his heart beat against her body, she seperated from his lips allowing him to catch his breath as she completed his sentence, "I think that we should, get you out of those clothes." she smiled.

Elliot stood after she offered her hand to him and led him back to their bedroom, "Liv, can I ask you something?" he whispered taking her waist into his arms and holding her as they danced to the quietness of their home.

"You really want to talk right now?" She asked surprised as she kissed him gently on his cheek.

"Well, it's just we haven't talked about why you went to Huang's, I didn't ever think you would willingly do something like that." he told her.

Olivia stepped back from his embrace and lowered her head then ran her hand through her damp hair exhaling, "Elliot, I don't want to-"

"Liv...we have too, what's going on? Why didn't you tell me you though you were loosing it?" he asked tilting her chin up to meet his glance.

"I didn't want you to thnk i was being a wuss." she whsipered.

Elliot kissed the corner of her mouth and smiled as he rested his forehead against hers, "I think your a strong woman...I could never thing your a wuss. The dreams bother me too Liv." he said ensuring her she wasn't alone in it.

Olivia exhaled, "Being new parents is some scary stuff." she offered a weak smile and looked down.

"Liv?" Elliot asked sensing there was more to her angst as he tilted her chin to him once more, "what is it?"

"Elliot..." She whispered, "Would you ever...um...would you, have you...ever cheated on me?" she asked knowing in her heart he hadn't but it was the dreams that casted shadows over her intellect.

"What?" he narrowed his eyes, "Why...how could you think that Liv?" he asked hurt but wondered if she had the same dreams of him cheating on her that he had of her cheating on him.

"Elliot, don't be mad, I'm not accusing." she said stepping close to him and forcing him to look at her as she carressed his face, "I just keep having these stupid dreams of you leaving me." she exhaled.

Elliot looked at her closely noticing she wasn't accusing him of anything, she was trying to explain something to him and it simply came out wrong. He kissed her forehead gently and moved slowly down her face, kissing her nose softly and then her cheek before stopping at her lips. "Never in a million years could I bring myself to be with another woman." he confessed.

"Oh." she whispered feeling his breath cascade over her lips as she felt him pull her into the kiss and gently explore her mouth. She worked on the knot of his tie remembering her promise to him that morning and she smiled knowing he left it tied so she could keep her word. Elliot was budy on another knot that held her robe securly in place. He smiled at the easiness with which it gave way to her form.

"I was thinking after the case," she began explaining as she cast his tie off and unbuttoned his shirt slowly, "we could take a short vacation, just you and me." she whispered allowing his shirt to fall to the ground.

"And Isaac?" he asked smiling as he felt the warmth of her hands unbuckelign his pants and allowing them to fall to the ground. He stepped out of them and pushed her robe off of her shoulders exposing her naked body infront of him.

"Um," she smiled feeling him graze her breast, "I haven't though that far yet."

"Oh," he whispered taking her body in his arms and laying her gently onto the bed, "how far have you thought then?" he asked feeling her hands move down the sides of his body to his boxers. She tugged on them gently and smiled, "This far."

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"I want to know everything about Gina Fairbanks and he husband and her daughter." Ellito screamed into the phone, "Stope jerking me around and run the damn names!" he bellowed before he slammed the reciever down and loosened his tie.

"El?" Olivia walked out of the file room and starred at him intently, "What's up?" She asked feeling the anger permeate from his body.

"What's up?" He yelled back, "You have to go undercover tonight with some crazy woman who is probably a kidnapping killer and the lab is screwing with us because he's an attorny!" he yelled slamming the door to his desk. "This is bull shi-"

"Elliot!" Cragen stepped in, "I just put in a call, they're faxing the information right now." he assured him, "Why don't you and Olivia go to lunch and try to get your feathers unruffeled." he told them.

Elliot and Olivia walked in silence to their favorite hot dog stand. He let out a deep breath as they turned the corner from the precinct. She took hold of his hand, "Are you upset with what I asked you last night?" she asked as they walked along the sidewalk.

"What?" he turned to her, "Oh, Liv, No." He assured her. "I just really know Fairbanks is who were looking for and they were stonewalling us like we were the perps and she was the victim." he said with a scoff.

"Isn't she the victim?" Olivia asked.

"I don't think so Liv."

"How do you figure...she's down a kid Elliot." she reminded him of the kidnapping.

"I don't know...I can't define it but I know it when I feel it...and with her, I feel it." he told her hoping he didn't sound to mystical.

She shook her head softly understanding what he said completely, "So, were good about lastnight? I didn't mena it the way it came out." she assured him.

"Olivia," He smiled, "I love you." He said kissing her softly, "Rest in that."


	15. Chapter 15 A Pair Means Two

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter: 15 A pair means two.

"Liv, I'm home." Elliot called out into the atmosphere as he walked through the front door of their home. When there was no answer he glanced at his watch and wondered if Olivia had forgotten about their Wednesday night meeting that they had to be at in less than two hours. He toed off his shoes and placed them in the foyer closet listening closely to the silence and hearing just that. He walked down the hallway loosening his tie before stopping in to Isaac's nursery where he discovered an empty crib. He continued across the hall to the master bedroom and smiled seeing Olivia sleeping on her side resting her head on her bicep with her body curled up into the fetal position; Isaac rested snugly in the curve of her body.

Apparently Olivia had been exhausted, as she had laid down in her work clothes, gun and badge still securely holstered on her belt. She did however, manage to get one boot off and it seemed that she had started to un-tuck her shirt but hadn't finished. Deciding she needed her rest Elliot gently removed their son who stirred slightly but remained asleep. Elliot laid him gently in his crib and retrieved the eardrops from the diaper bag. Satisfied that he'd administered the medication correctly he left the nursery and headed to the shower.

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Looking at the clock Elliot decided Olivia had to get up or they would be late. He crept into the room quietly and sat next to her sleeping body. He bent his body gently down to hers and kissed her lips softly and in spite of how tired she was Elliot smiled feeling her respond to him when she parted her lips and kissed him back pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. He smiled separating from her and hearing her moan in disapproval.

"Were gonna be late." He whispered fully aware that no one liked loud noises when they'd just woken up.

"For what?" she mumbled with her eyes still closed.

"Church." He smiled.

Olivia's eyes darted open like she had just been pricked with a needle, "Uggghh, I forgot all about it." She moaned.

"Your tired." He smiled tapping her gun, "Sleeping with Mr. Beretta huh?" he joked at the fact that she'd fallen asleep with her weapon. He'd noticed she engaged the safety and speculated she just didn't have the energy to lock it away and decided to keep it on her…for what? He wasn't sure.

Olivia stretched and grumbled like a small child, "I don't wanna go." She informed him as she sat up.

Elliot moved in and kissed her with a desire that took her off guard. After the initial shock wore off she happily obliged the movements of his mouth and felt her body respond to him. After an intense moment of feeling her own body react to him she separated her mouth from his and rested her forehead against his, "Trying to seduce me?" she whispered almost panting.

"Yep." He smiled back brushing her bangs away from her face. "Someone had to wake you up."

"Yeah, but seducing me before church…that should secure me a place in hell with all the thoughts I'll be having." She smiled, "That's fowl play Elliot."

"So, you admit that my seducing you is working?" he asked playfully.

"Oh yeah. And I hate you for it." She laughed.

Elliot placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, "Jump in the shower I'll get Isaac ready."

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Olivia placed the glasses on her face and smiled still impressed with how scholarly they made her look. She stood straightening her clothes in the mirror when she heard Elliot call for her as he entered the room.

"Liv, look at this." Elliot said holding Isaac in his arms and smiling as Olivia approached him.

"Our son?" she teased him.

"Look at his eyes." He instructed her as he shifted Isaac's body to give her a closer look.

"Wow." She whispered in awe, "That's incredible." She smiled looking at her son's eyes that had once been the purest of blues. Olivia squinted her eyes and looked closer, "Brown specs." She smiled.

"See," Elliot smiled. "Even your genes are stubborn, always got to have their way."

"Shut up." She smiled softly taking hold of his bicep as she watched her son stare back at them, "That's amazing…our son has both of our eyes, how does that happen?" she asked not necessarily concerned with the answer.

Elliot pretended to know, "Well, the chromosomes and alleles combine in a fascinating mixture of DNA that combines the nucleus-"

Olivia kissed his mouth softly and then parted lips with him whispering, "Shut up." And offering a smile, "Time to go."

Elliot handed Olivia a manila file and then picked up the car seat that had Isaac strapped firmly in place, "Surprise." He smiled, "Fin gave it to me when I went home today." He said locking the house door and walking out to the gray beamer.

"Hey," Olivia smiled sarcastically, "Just what I always wanted, background checks and financials of our suspects." She smiled sliding into the passenger seat. "Thanks honey, you're the best." She laughed shaking her head.

"Yeah, well, I try." He teased following her lead.

"Okay," She said seriously, "Do you have any thoughts on this Elliot? What should I be looking for here?" she asked as the engine came to life and Elliot manipulated the clutch and shifter and at same time backing out of the driveway.

"Well," he said looking left, then right and left again before pulling onto the street, "I for one want to know what's up with the last names…why are they different?" he asked her.

"El, that doesn't mean anything, look, here's the marriage license." She said retrieving it, "It's like that actress on the crime show we catch every now and again, the one you say I look like. She married and still goes by her last name." She shrugged, "I don't think we can get a warrant on that alone, what else ya got?"

Elliot smiled turning the blinker on, "I just want noted for the record that I said _she_ looks like _you_…big difference." He smiled, resting his hand on her leg as he turned left.

"Whatever." She smiled shaking her head and then suddenly stopping, "What the hell? err…heck." She corrected herself looking behind her to make sure Isaac's ears hadn't been violated by her cursing. Satisfied he was asleep she returned forward.

"What?" he asked.

"Well, didn't Fairbanks tell us her husband was an adoption attorney?" She asked flipping through the paper's trying to find what she wasn't sure she was looking for.

"Yeah so?"

"So…why does this say he's senior partners at Reful and Douglas?" She said finally holding up the paper and allowing him to glance at it as he slowed to stop at the red light.

"What's Reful and Douglas?" he asked shifting back into first and accelerating at the green light.

"The biggest and most expensive criminal defense firm in New York." She said knowing that they were getting close…close to what? She wasn't entirely sure.

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Olivia took a sip of the orange juice and looked around the room at the ladies that she had been meeting with. She hated herself for listening to their painful stories…she felt as though she were deceiving them by being there but, she had a job to do and she would accept nothing less than perfection.

"Excuse me," Came a voice behind Olivia, "Celeste right?" the woman asked.

"Yes, hi, how are you?" Olivia plastered a smile over her face and extended a hand in greeting.

"I'm good…well as good as one could be coming to these meetings." She smiled sheepishly, "I'm Deborah."

"Judge." It slipped out of Olivia's mouth.

"Excuse me?" Deborah looked at her confused.

"I'm sorry, I was reading about Deborah in Judges." Olivia apologized telling the truth. She had recently picked up a copy of the bible and found Deborah particularly interesting.

"Oh, right, duh." Deborah smiled, "I can be a ditz." She laughed, "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm good." Olivia exhaled, wondering why this particular woman approached her today when she hadn't so much as looked at her during other meetings.

"Are you sure, you look tired." She offered, "Oh, that sounded rude, I'm sorry."

Olivia laughed at the woman's nervousness, "It's fine, my son has an ear infection and is currently anti-sleep." She said with a smile to ease the woman. When she was satisfied she'd gained the woman's trust she tested the waters, "Hey, I was wondering who started these meetings? It's such a blessing." Olivia said taking a sip of her juice and smiling to herself. Using the vernacular of a religious person was something she never thought she'd do.

"Easy Liv." Elliot warned through the transmitter, "You don't have to go for the kill tonight." He laughed quietly.

"Oh, Gina and her husband." She said simply. "They are such a testimony of the program."

"Gina? Gina?…that sounds familiar." Olivia snapped her fingers pretending to recall information in her mind, it was a game to her and it was a game that she played fascinatingly well.

"Gina Fairbanks, she's the director." Deborah offered.

"Ah, yeah, okay, I remember I think I read about it in the church bulletin." Olivia smiled. Surely this woman would be a source of information.

"I didn't know she was married." Olivia continued.

Elliot smiled and spoke softly into the transmitter, "When your good, your good Liv."

"Oh, yeah…very prominent defense attorney from Reful and Douglas." She said taking a feminine bite of the cookie she held in her hand.

Olivia furrowed her brows taking the woman's information in, and then pouncing on a comment she'd made, "You said they were a testimony to the program…how so?" she asked hoping she sounded more curious than suspicious but knowing the woman probably wouldn't be perceptive enough to know the difference.

"Well, you know," Deborah spoke softer taking a step toward Olivia as if silently asking her to keep a secret, "She was a prostitute and her husband Aaron was her knight in shining armor…gave her a second chance in life." She smiled, "They're good people…it was such a shame about the miscarriage." She offered.

"Miscarriage?" Olivia questioned, "When?"

"Oh, about six months ago…they were so close to the due date." She said sadly shaking her head. "The baby was suppose to be a boy." She sighed.

"Must be hard not having children, I can't imagine my life without my husband, but I would die without my son." She said amazed at how much she'd meant it. Fifteen months ago she didn't want Isaac, now she didn't know what she would do without him.

Elliot smiled to himself and whispered into the microphone, "I don't know what I would do without you guys too Liv."

"Oh, they have a girl, she's seventeen I think, but adopted by him, from a previous marriage…his wife died." She said picking up what may have been her fourth or fifth cookie.

"Wow, sounds like they've had some rough spots to contend with." Olivia asked seeing if there was anything else to gain. The woman looked at the clock, "Oh, looks like we're about to start group."

Olivia smiled slyly, "Well, let's not keep them waiting."

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Olivia stood outside of the church; there had been nothing of notable interest that had occurred during the group and she was waiting to see the gray beamer pull up to the curb to take her away back to a house of comfort where she could wrap her arms around her son and kiss her husband. Olivia watched as they gray beamer approached and the blue car in the distance that most likely contained Fin left.

Elliot stepped out of the vehicle dressed impeccably well save the tie that he simply left draped round his neck untied. She laughed knowing he must have loosened it in the car and then couldn't get it back to normal. Elliot opened the door of the car and smiled helping her in.

"Hi." He whispered half putting on a show and the other half just being himself with his wife.

"Hi." She whispered back and kissed him softly, before whispering in his ear, "We're close, I can feel it." She said referencing the case before pulling away and sliding into the passenger seat and immediately turning to the back seat looking at Isaac who was stubbornly awake for the late hour. She smiled looking at his eyes wondering how something like that just happens and then remembering something in science class from college about traits and…oh whatever, she loved knowing her son had some of the best looking eyes she'd ever seen.

Elliot pulled the car away from the curb as Olivia gave a gentle wave to Deborah who was waving goodbye from the curb. "That woman talks a lot." Olivia said softly.

"She come up with anything." Elliot asked pulling the car onto the main road.

Olivia smiled, "Oh yeah."

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Confident the children's Tylenol had done its job on Isaac Elliot returned to the room to see Olivia sitting on the edge of the bed exhaustion written all over her body. She rubbed her face and stretched allowing her camisole to rise just below her breast. Elliot decided he would let her rest, no seduction tonight. He walked to her and gently kissed the top of her head, "Get some sleep Liv, we have a long day tomorrow." He whispered and turned but stopped when she took hold of his belt from behind.

"What happened to seducing me Detective?" she asked playfully.

"You look like you're tired." He whispered, "Believe me, if I thought you could handle it I'd be all over you." He smiled standing in front of her.

Olivia kneeled on the bed and pulled him to her, "Oh, I can handle it." She said kissing him playfully, "The question is, can you?" she said arching a brow.

Elliot kissed her back again, "If your tired-"

Olivia caressed his chin with her hand forcing him to look at her, "I am. Not. Tired." She kissed him, sipping of his bottom lip.

"Let me shower really quick." He grinned.

"No." She pouted.

"Liv, Isaac, ralphed on me in the car…I need a shower." He smiled, "Five minutes." He smiled and kissed her again feeling his desire for her surface more as they both moaned into one another's mouths.

"Alright, but make it four minutes okay." She smiled sliding her body into bed.

Elliot turned around, "Four minutes." He agreed.

Elliot raced through the shower military style. The very thought of being with his wife was arousing to him. While he'd heard that after the first couple months of marriage things had the potential of slowing, he certainly never felt it. Olivia wanted him as much as he wanted her and that was erotic to him. The thought of making love to only Olivia for the rest of his life was intoxicating. There was an understood gentleness between the two of them that they both needed. He needed someone to love, and show himself tender to and she needed someone to be tender to her. They fit, created specifically for the other and they both knew it. He towel dried quickly and slipped on a pair of boxers and an 'A' shirt just to make things interesting.

He walked out expecting to see Olivia's smiling face but instead found himself smiling at his wife who was sound asleep. Elliot slipped in next to her and pulled her close to his body. Olivia sighed gently and tangled her feet with his as she slept. He looked at the woman he held and smiled at how far they had come together, how stubborn they both were and how lucky they were to have one another.

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Olivia stood at the board filling the group in on the information that Deborah had provided them with.

"We're getting close." She said tapping her pencil on thigh as she stood.

"Yeah, but we still don't have enough to get the search warrant…we're still sunk." Munch said peering over his glasses.

Olivia tilted her head, "Thank you Mr. Optimistic." She smiled sarcastically.

"Anyone look into how is other wife died?" Cragen asked folding his arms.

"I put in a call." Elliot chimed in, "Apparently they lived upstate when she died, so we're waiting on the report to be faxed down." He said taking a drink of his coffee and frowning, "You make this John?"

"Problem?" Munch asked innocently.

"Yeah," Fin spoke up, "There's water in the coffee grounds." He said sarcastically as Munch smiled back in perfect misunderstanding.

"Excuse me Captain Cragen, I'm sorry to interrupt." A uniformed officer came into the bullpen.

"What do you need?" Cragen asked somewhat irritated his briefing had been disturbed.

"I have a young lady who said she wanted to talk to the detectives that were in this car." He said handing a slip of paper to the Captain that contained the license plate number and color of Elliot and Olivia's squad car.

"Did she say why she was here?" Cragen asked turning his back to the detectives and walking out of the bullpen into the hall.

"She said she won't talk to anyone other than the people in the car. I looked through the vehicle registrar and the sedan belongs to SVU." He said shrugging his shoulders, "I didn't know what else to do."

"Okay, you did fine, where is she?" Cragen asked.

"Right there Sir." He said pointing to a young girl wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses and trying very hard not to be seen. "I've got to get back down stairs to the counter." The uniform informed Cragen.

"Okay." He shook his head and dismissed the rookie.

Cragen walked to the young girl and offered a small smile, "Can I help you?" he asked softly.

She looked up and narrowed her brows, "Your not her."

"Excuse me?" he said confused.

"I want to talk to the two people in the police car…one more question from you and I leave and you loose your case." She said simply as she stared forward.

Cragen stood stunned at the young girls audacity. "Follow me and I'll get them for you." He offered and turned on his heels walking back into the bullpen and escorting the young girl into the interrogation room one. Cragen stepped out and looked dazed at Elliot and Olivia.

"Benson, Stabler, she's here to see you." He said with his hands pocketed.

"What?" Elliot said still trying to negotiate the coffee.

"Why?" Olivia asked smiling at Elliot who simply couldn't stomach it any longer and spit out the mud in the wastebasket.

"I don't know but she wont talk to anyone else. Go and see what she wants."

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Elliot stood in the corner of the interrogation room looking at the young woman who was wearing a bad disguise but he was still unable to match her with anyone he knew. Olivia sat in front of her and introduced herself. "I'm detective Benson, this is detective Stabler." She said pointing to the corner where Elliot stood quietly.

When there was no response from the young woman, Olivia tilted her head to one side, "How can we help you?"

The young girl kept her head bowed and spoke softly, "I want to report a murder." She said in an even tone that surprised both detectives.

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Why didn't they take you to homicide…why here?"

"You tell me." The girl responded looking up and pulling off the cap and sunglasses, "Why were you outside of my home the other day."

Olivia sat back knowing she wore a look of shock starring at the girl she recognized as the person in the marital arts uniform at the Fairbanks residence. Elliot pulled up a chair and sat down. "Who says we were in front of your house?" Olivia asked.

"Apparently your captain…I gave the license number and he gave me you." She said undaunted by the presence of two detectives.

"How do you know it was us?" Elliot asked, "Lots of detectives use the cars."

"The passenger was female, she looked right at me through the vanity mirror, the driver was tall, short black hair…seems to me that's you two." She said staring at both of them.

"We can't talk to you without your parents being here." Elliot said informing her.

The young girl pulled out her license; "I turned eighteen as of 4:32 this morning…now why were you at my house?"

"We're investigating the kidnapping of your little brother." Olivia said shocked that the young girl who seemed to be so observant couldn't piece it together herself.

"My name is Chloe, in case you need to know that…write it down maybe." She said in a neutral tone that continued to take both detectives off guard. "My brother wasn't kidnapped…he was sold."

"Excuse me?" Olivia said looking at Elliot to see if he'd pissed himself knowing she almost had.

"Where should I start?" The young girl stood to her feet and walked around the interrogation room. Elliot kept a close eye on her movements as Olivia took notes.

"I was adopted when I was a new born. My mother's name was Sarafina my father's Aaron." She said taking off the windbreaker and draping it over the chair. "When I was four I remember them fighting for the first time." She exhaled and walked to the barred window and starred out into the busy city.

"My mother was an honorable woman." She whispered, "She had a past that she fought against to raise me and hold down a marriage." She took in a breath and continued, "I'm not exactly sure how he found out she use to be a prostitute but he did and he hated her for it. He said it would ruin his chances at making partner for the firm." She slipped her hands in her pocket and bit her lip. "I was ten when he killed her." She said simply with a raised eyebrow.

"How?" Olivia whispered feeling the familiar weight on the world rest on her shoulders.

"Poison." She answered.

"That's difficult to prove." Elliot said, "How do you know he poisoned her?"

The young girl looked at him and slowly sat down starting carefully at the center of the table and for the first time offering a hint of emotion as her eyes began to mist. She blinked and regained her composure by taking a deep breath. "Because, he made me mix the poison into her drinks."

Elliot leaned back in the chair not exactly ready for what was dropped in front of them. "I thought the death was ruled a natural cause." He said vaguely remembering a piece of information they were looking at when Cragen interrupted them.

"I didn't understand what I was doing." She continued, "He told me she was sick and it was medicine…I want to be a pathologist." She offered, "I find chemistry fascinating, two years ago I was sitting in an advanced chemistry class and we were discussing antifreeze and the effect it has on various chemicals…I pulled a sample with an eye dropper and the smell was distinct, the color was exact." She said. "I asked the teacher what would happen if someone were to consumed it…he said death…painfully."

"Why didn't it show up in the autopsy?" Elliot asked not sure if he believed her completely.

"That's what I wanted to know." She said simply, "I researched ethanol glycol until I had run out of resources to look through…about a year ago I was studying a murder that took place on the West Coast about fifteen years ago, where a boyfriend added a tablespoon of antifreeze to his girlfriend's drink once a week for five weeks…it slowly crystallizes the kidneys but doesn't show up in an autopsy." She informed them, "My father had me add a tablespoon of antifreeze to my mother's drink once a week for five weeks."

"We'll have to verify your story." Olivia informed her, "But, I don't think that will be hard."

"What about your brother?" Elliot asked, "You said he was _sold_?"

The young girl took a breath and Olivia thought she could have easily past for thirty with the stress lines and even the gray hair that began to creep up in her hairline. "They hid that baby from everyone for six months…then he suddenly disappears into thin air." Spoke softer now allowing the detectives to see her vulnerability when it came to her baby brother.

"I thought your dad hated prostitutes." Elliot furrowed his brows deciding if her story was going to hold water.

"Are you listening to me?" She said suddenly as if Elliot offended her.

"Yes." He replied simply.

"Sweetheart," Olivia began but was cut off.

"Don't call me that! Ever!" she bit back and then lowered her voice, "My mom use to call me that, please don't call me that…okay?" she said barely above a whisper.

"Okay." Olivia agreed, "Chloe, we need to ask rough questions to make sure we get everything, it doesn't mean we don't believe you."

Chloe shook her head in understanding. "He married Gina _because_ she was a prostitute." She said. "The perfect Christian guy with the perfect Christian family is all a front." She said confidently. "He's a murdering kidnapper who rapes women and sells their babies to make them suffer for their past." She swallowed, "There's your motive."

"We still need means and opportunity before we can go to trial." Elliot said wondering how someone so young could be so smart _and_ accurate.

"Here's your means." She said reaching into her backpack and retrieving a single kick shoe caked in mud. "He'd taken them from me just before the recent rash of disappearing babies, said they were more comfortable for wearing around the house at night." She ran her hand through her hair, "As far as opportunity, I think you guys are more than capable of handling that one on your own."

Olivia shook her head in a manner that was barely perceptible; she was mulling the information over in her head. "Still gonna be rough for a warrant." She said softly, "But we'll see what we can do."

"Maybe this will help you Ms. Benson." Chloe said retrieving a journal from her bag, "This is every thought, memory and speculation I have had about my father, my mother, Gina and the kidnapping of those babies."

_Mrs_. Olivia thought in a correction that had become a habit that she rather enjoyed. Olivia flipped through the pages noting the deadly accuracy with which the young girl had printed, line after line, front and back annotations and news clipping of children and parents she thought important enough to include. "Do you have a number where we can reach you?" Olivia asked closing the journal and placing it to the side.

"Excuse me?" The young girl narrowed her sights.

"A number, just in case we have more questions." Elliot clarified.

The young girl's eyes darted between the two detectives, "You're not arresting me?"

"For what?" They said in unison.

Chloe bowed her head and formed a barely audible sentence, "I poisoned my mother."

Olivia reached across the table and took hold of Chloe's hand, "Your father made a ten year old kill her mother…you didn't do anything illegal because you were too young to know what was going on." She tried to sooth the young girl.

Elliot suddenly had an alarming realization, "Chloe." He spoke her name softly, "You came down here and turned in your own father at the same time thinking you could go to jail for murder?"

"Detective," she took a deep breath, "The church may have been a front for my father…but my relationship with God is real and I know he wouldn't expect anything less from me." She swallowed. "I had to wait until I was eighteen for my trust fund to become available…it's the only way I could have paid for a defense, I know it's shallow but-"

"It's not shallow." Olivia reminded her, "By coming down here you know your going to loose everyone you've known to be a parent…it's good to have a plan 'B'."

Chloe stood to her feet and pulled a blue brief out of her back pack and handed it to the officers, "I spoke with my attorney first thing this morning, In the event my brother is found…I'll be the next of kin…and his legal guardian since Gina and dad will be arrested as soon as you tie up loose ends."

Olivia was somewhat amused that the young woman had been so thorough, screw plan 'B'; Olivia speculated she had enough plans to go through the entire alphabet…more than once. "How long have you planned this?" Olivia asked standing to her feet with Elliot doing the same.

The young girl looked back at both of them, "Part of it, the minute I realized he had me kill her. Then when my brother was born, I thought carefully what would be best for him, I had hoped I would turn eighteen before he was six months but he was born premature, but the plan back two months." She cleared her throat and pulled out a folded piece of paper, "I lived with the man who killed my mother, a woman who helped him kidnap innocent children and didn't bother to fight for her own son. They reap what they sow." She said handing the paper to Olivia. "That's my information, I'll be in Jersey for now."

"You can't leave town." Elliot said, "We may need you."

"Detective, my father is a powerful man who sees no problem with murder, I've put my life on the line being within a mile of this precinct, I'll go where I need to go so that in the event you find my brother, he has someone to come home to." With that she slung her bag over her shoulder and opened the door then stopped and turned to face Olivia.

"Something else?" Olivia asked.

"Detective…when the ADA tells you she can't give you the warrant, and she will tell you that…remember that a pair means two."


	16. Chapter 16 We Got Your Physical Evidence

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 16: We Got Your Physical Evidence

"Come on Casey!" Olivia was on the verge of having an aneurysm. "Chloe gave very specific detail to us, and the medical examiner report came in from her mother's death!"

"I need something physical."

"Warner said it was a possibility with the ethanol glycol." Elliot chimed.

"You want to argue possibility with judge Petrovsky and twelve jurors that are pissed because they've been sequestered from their family?" she said placing files in her workbag.

"Casey." Olivia forced her self to calm down and not to yell, "What do we need to do to get a warrant."

"You provide me with reasonable information that points to some piece of physical evidence that should be in his home…and I'll pitch any request for a warrant." She told them flatly. "Until then, I'm sorry, my hands are tied."

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Olivia rested her palms against the cool tile of the shower and allowed the warmth to caress her body. _What the hell was she saying and why didn't she jus say it_?" she asked frustrated as she straightened her body and reached for the shampoo. Elliot was stuck at work helping Fin on another case when Munch went home sick…again. She lathered her hair quickly keeping careful to listen for the baby monitor. She rinsed the soap off feeling it slide down her body, after washing her body she quickly stepped out and towel dried throwing on one of Elliot's old shirts and a pair of boy shorts.

"CrackerJack." She called for the fat beagles to follow her out of the bedroom and to the back door, "Rest room break boys…I know it's tiring laying around the house doing nothing." She teased them throwing treats to both. She closed the door and retrieved her son from the playpen. She laid him on a soft pad on the floor and lay next to him. Tickling him and simply spending time with her son who seemed a little less cranky than the previous days. Isaac seemed particularly fond of raspberries being blown on his tummy and Olivia was perfectly content with blowing them.

"Well, there's something you don't see everyday." Elliot smiled at the sight of Olivia Stabler actually blowing raspberries on his son's belly.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in." She laughed, "We were just…exploring the…" her voice trailed off unable to come up with a suitable lie that would cover her behavior.

"The incredible power of the raspberry." He smiled, "Nothing sexier than coming home and seeing my wife bonding with my son." He said sitting next to the two. "You smell good." He whispered wrapping an arm around her body and kissing her cheek softly.

"Thank you." She smiled kissing him back, "You smell like…the city." She laughed.

"There's my cue for the shower." He smiled rubbing Isaac's belly and kissing his forehead gently watching his son coo in glee, his tiny feet kicking into his chest.

Elliot retreated to the shower while Olivia retreated to the refrigerator mixing a bottle of formula for Isaac, she was relieved that he was accepting the bottle so well but for some reason he demanded his middle of the night feedings by way of her breast. When she was satisfied the milk wouldn't burn his mouth she returned to him and scooped him up snuggly against her body as she sat on the couch. She turned the television and muted the sound as Isaac sucked happily from his bottle with his hand tightly around her index finger.

Olivia found herself still amazed how his eyes had changed but Mrs. Reynoso said infants' eyes normally do, although not so late in the game and not in the manner with which his did. She did, however; agree that it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen and that was just fine with Olivia.

Within minutes Isaac's eyes had submitted to sleep and his tiny mouth stopped sucking. She stood to her feet taking her son to his nursery and gently laying him down. She slid her finger over his mouth and wiped the excess milk away smiling at the fact that he could be so messy eating…just like his father. She pulled the blanket over his body and left in search of her husband.

Elliot brushed his teeth vigorously and then rinsed and wiped his mouth. He stood in pajama bottoms but never liked to brush his teeth with a shirt on. Olivia wrapped her hands around his waist and kissed his shoulder softly, watching him in the mirror.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep last night." She blushed, "I guess I was tired."

Elliot turned to face her and smiled seeing her in his shirt. "That's okay, I knew you were exhausted…but you wanted me didn't you?" He smiled kissing her.

"Yeah, I'll admit it." She said smiling back, "Guess it was just past my bedtime." She laughed and then kissed his chest softly making a trail up to his mouth, "I drank coffee…lots of caffeine." She smiled taking his lip into her mouth and gently biting it then sucking to sooth over the pain.

"Frisky." He laughed.

"Diabolical." She corrected leading him back to the bed.

Elliot stopped her just shy of reaching their destination. And whispered to her from behind as he held her, "If we keep this up…we really are going to end up pregnant again." She could feel his smile against her cheek.

"Would that be so bad?" she whispered back and in effect shocking Elliot.

"We'd have two toddler's…hard work." He told her sliding his hand under the shirt and stroking her abdomen.

"We'll," she smiled turning in his embrace and kissing him, "You worry about 'keeping things up'" she said suggestively, taking another step closer to him and feeling his body coming to life against her, "And let God do what he wants." She smiled.

Elliot furrowed his brows catching her statement.

"What?" She smiled.

"That's the first time you gave God control on anything." He smiled.

"Well," She said resting her hands on his hips, "I've been going to church lately." She smiled, "It might be work…but I'm learning some things." She whispered.

"Like what?" he asked intrigued.

"You know something…you pick the worse times for conversation." She laughed and then quieted herself feeling his hand graze her skin softly under the shirt and then the cool air surround her when he removed it and backed her to the bed allowing himself to collapse gently over her body and guide her into comfort.

Elliot looked at her intently seeing one emotion after another in her eyes. She had tell all eyes and tonight he saw within them her devotion to him, her love for their son and a mixture of fear and frustration.

"Something bothering you Olivia?" he asked softly.

"I can't believe your still talking." She smiled.

"What's bothering you?" he prodded her again.

"Currently," she whispered, "The fact that my husband won't make love to me is topping the list."

"I just want-" he kissed her gently and still insisted on speaking albeit muffled, "to make sure your okay."

"I'd be better if you were quiet." She laughed kissing him playfully letting him know she wasn't angry and understood his concern, but really didn't want to talk in their current situation.

Elliot made his way down her body resting his lips on her abdomen and smiling devilishly.

"Elliot. Don't you dar-" before she could finish her statement Elliot had done the unthinkable and blown a raspberry on her abdomen causing her shift to her side laughing hysterically.

"I can't believe you did that." She laughed harder to the point a tear escaped her. Never in all that years that he had known her had he seen he do that. When she finally settled in laughter and rubbed the pain in her side he kissed her again.

Elliot laughed pulling away from her, "Now _that's_ exploring the power of the raspberry." He smiled. "But let's move on to more important things."

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Elliot rolled onto his side not in frustration but in concern. He had held out as long as possible waiting for her to climax but after several false alarms Olivia's body and mind sold her out into nothingness as he climaxed within her. She rolled her body away from him putting a large gap between the two under the comforter.

"Come here." He whispered pulling her back to him and kissing her head softly, "Talk Liv." He pushed her softly, "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry." She apologized and tried to move from the bed and then giving up when she realized he wasn't letting her move.

"For what?" he asked softly knowing the answer but insisting she talk through it. While Olivia had gotten better about talking…there were times he wished psychics were real just so he could find out what was floating around in her mind.

Olivia took a deep breath and turned to face him "I'm sorry you were alone in that." She whispered.

Elliot kissed her softly on the mouth, "Don't be, I know something's on your mind, I want you to talk to me, please." He whispered his plea and brushed her bangs away allowing him to see something he hadn't seen for a while, there was shame there.

"I still think your sexy." He told her with a smile.

"Really?" she searched his eyes for deceit and found none.

"Really." He assured her. "Throw some clothes on and we'll talk on the deck, I'll get the monitor." He said kissing her and sliding out of bed before she pulled him back.

"You're not upset with me?" she asked seeking her own assurance.

Elliot knelt in his nakedness and smiled at her. Olivia displayed a confidence at work that no one could match, but at home…that was a different story. "I seem to remember a time when I had a little problem myself…were you upset with me?" he asked her in all seriousness.

"No." she whispered caressing his face.

"Then?" was all he offered as he extended his hand to her and helped her out of bed. They dressed back into their pajamas only Olivia added flannel bottoms to her attire.

"Liv, grab a blanket." He said retrieving the monitor and walking out of the room.

Olivia emerged from the bedroom with a blanket in hand and watched Elliot scrounge around in the refrigerator. "I'll meet you out there in a sec." He said retrieving two mugs from the cupboard as she slipped out the door.

Olivia managed to squeeze into the lounge chair with Team CrackerJack plastered over her body as she stroked their bellies in unison. Jack kicked his left paw as she stroked him and she found it amusing that when she stopped so did he.

"I got chocolate." Elliot smiled handing her a mug.

"Ooh, thanks." She accepted it and let it warm her hands.

Elliot put the monitor down next to the chair, "CrackerJack, off." He said and smiled watching Jack jump off quickly while Cracker took his time yawning and stretching. "Cracker." He warned again and the dog happily jumped off to play with his pal. "That is the laziest dog I have ever seen." Elliot smiled squeezing in next to his wife and pulling the blanket over both of them. "And you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He whispered wrapping his arm around her and letting her rest her head on his chest.

Elliot held her in silence knowing she needed time to compose her thoughts, he sipped his chocolate and waited for her.

"Chloe was a surprise today." She finally spoke softly.

"Yeah…and a big help too." He agreed stoking her arm softly.

"We need the warrant," She informed him, "or she's screwed."

"Is that what's bothering you?" he asked softly.

"Part of it." She exhaled, "I've been thinking all day long…if we arrest her parents…she's gonna be alone."

"Like you were?" he asked knowing where her thoughts were taking her.

"I don't want her to go through that…she's been through a lot…but hell hath no fury than loneliness." She whispered.

"Your not alone anymore." He kissed her head softly.

"I know." She looked up at him, "You're the best thing that's happened to me…besides Isaac." She smiled, "Okay, maybe you guys are tied." She kissed his cheek. "What do you think she meant by 'there are two in a pair'?"

"I have no idea, I've been thinking the same thing." He said exhaling. "She's methodical though, it has to mean something it couldn't have been frivolous."

"How's Munch?" she asked out of the blue.

"Um…uh…was something wrong with him?" Elliot asked and then remembered the money, "Oh, he's good." He offered.

"I haven't talked to Casey or Alex, do you think they're okay?" she asked.

While at first it seemed like random questions, Elliot realized that she was asking because her mind was being invaded by the people she cared and worried about. While she wouldn't admit it to their faces, she worried about those close to her and sometimes that and hard cases combined, was enough to do her in.

"How about tomorrow, after work, you go and pal around with them." He suggested.

"Maybe." She took a sip of her chocolate. "My mom died four years ago to the day today." She whispered.

_There it is, the root of the problem_. Elliot told himself. "I'm sorry I didn't remember."

"Don't be, I'd forgotten too, until Chloe was talking about her mother. You could tell they were close you know."

"Yeah."

"It's unfair." She murmured.

"What."

"Sarafina loved Chloe and they were separated, my mother and I hated each other and we had to stay together." She said exhaling.

"Maybe God knew you and your mother would eventually come to terms with your relationship." He offered.

"Still isn't fair."

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Olivia reached a tired arm out tried to shut the alarm clock off, when there was no success she felt for the chord and simply pulled it out of the wall.

"Oh no you don't cheater." Elliot called from the door, "I got Isaac ready so you could have an extra hour…which has expired." He laughed pulling the comforter off of her body. Olivia moaned in discontent feeling the cool morning nip at her body.

"Elliot." She whined, "Call me in sick will ya?"

"Let me think about it…no!" he said pulling her up and kissing her, "Shower." He smiled making sure she made it to the shower and didn't crawl back in the bed like she'd done the last time making them both late.

After feeding Isaac, Elliot strapped him in the car seat and looked at his watched. "Liv, were gonna be late." He said walking into the bedroom to see Olivia sitting on the bed fumbling with a pair of dress socks.

"Hold your horses Stabler." She said with a smile, "A girl's got to look good."

She always had her charm after she woke up, he smiled, "Need anything?"

"Yeah." She pointed to the closet "can you hand me that pair of boots, the Danner's please."

Elliot picked them up and then suddenly stopped and stared at the Danner's he had in his hand. He turned slowly to Olivia who had the same look on her face. "That's it." She said jumping off the bed.

"There's two in a pair." Elliot said, "She's talking about the shoes, she only gave us one." He told her handing the Danner's the Olivia who slipped them on and simply tucked the laces for now.

"She only gave us one," Olivia said reaching quickly for her badge, "Because the other one is at his house." She said making her way to the front door and holstering her weapon. "Hey honey." She cooed crouching down to Isaac, "Good morning." She smiled kissing his head softly before standing. "Let's go." She said picking up the diaper bag as Elliot gathered the car seat.

"You drive." She said tossing him the keys to the mustang and sliding into the passenger seat. She searched for her cell phone as Elliot pulled out of the driveway. "Yeah Casey, It's Olivia…we got your physical evidence."


	17. Chapter 17 Fairbanks

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 17: Fairbanks

Olivia placed the steaming cup of coffee onto Elliot's desk and sipped from her own as she took a seat behind her own desk. "Casey is trying for the warrant as we speak." She informed him.

"I hate the waiting game." He told her fighting with his tie. He had been doing the same loosening and tying act for the last thirty minutes and Olivia found herself holding back a smile. "You find something funny?" he asked attempting the tie one more time.

"What? Me…Nothing." She smiled taking a drink of her coffee to cover her smirk.

"Hey Stabler," Fin walked in, "Want me to tell you the bunny story?" he said with a smile.

"Excuse me?" He asked confused, as Olivia buried her head in a case file trying to cover the grin that was threatening to expose her.

"You know," Fin smiled, "The bunny goes around the tree and through the hole." He laughed.

"Gee thanks for the ego stroke Fin." Elliot said looking at the man's perfect knot.

"Hey, that's what I'm here for." He smiled slapping his shoulder and winking at Olivia who refused to look up for fear her grin hadn't dissipated.

"Got it!" Casey called into the bullpen waving a blue brief into the air. "I want you to know I had to practically sell my soul to get this so you owe me." She said smiling as she handed the brief to Olivia.

"Why are there three?" Olivia asked opening one to read the limitations.

"There are no limitations on the search warrant." She informed her knowing Olivia's penchant for double-checking everything. "The other two are arrest warrants contingent on what you find in the home."

"Great!" Olivia stood to her feet. "So, we can arrest without notifying you?" She asked for clarification.

"Well, I'm going with you, so you won't have to worry will you?" She smiled.

"Guess not, we'll meet you there." Elliot smiled reaching for his jacket and keys, "Liv, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked motioning her to the hallway.

"What's up?" She asked still examining the search warrant. There was no way she would end up in the same situation she found herself the day Alex lied to her about a search warrant.

Elliot opened the door to an interrogation room and pulled her body close to his. "Hi." He smiled.

"Hi." She furrowed her brows.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night?" he said resting his hand on her waist.

"I'm fine…ego's a little sore." She blushed.

"Ah, don't worry…we got years to make it up." He smiled leaning closer to her lips.

"You realize we're at work right?" she asked as he kissed her cheek softly.

"Actually this is work related." He smiled finding the loophole he needed to be so close to her.

"How's that?" She asked curiously…perhaps they could keep using this loophole.

Elliot laughed, "I can't serve a warrant like this." He said flipping the tails of this tie that simply hung around his neck.

Olivia shook her head and tied it quickly, "The bunny goes around the tree-"

"Do not finish that statement!" he laughed as she tightened the knot and smoothed his shirt.

"One of these days I'll have to teach you how to tie it." She smiled.

"No."

"Why?"

He smiled, "Cause then I don't get to have you this close to me."

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Elliot balled a fist and pounded on the door of the Fairbanks residence three times.

"Who is it?" Came the feminine voice they recognized as Gina Fairbanks.

"New York Police Department, Detectives Stabler and Benson." He shouted back.

"I don't want to talk to you." She shouted.

"Ma'am." Olivia spoke drawing her weapon and keeping it pointed low for the time being. "We have a search warrant…open the door or we open it for you." She yelled.

After hearing no response Elliot motioned for the team of uniforms to crash the door with a battering ram.

"GET OUT!" Fairbanks said walking backwards as the flood of uniformed cops swarmed her home.

Olivia handed her the search warrant after holstering her weapon and smiled, "We'll be here for awhile, take a seat."

Elliot pulled flipped through the journal Chloe had handed him and turned to a marked page, "Come here." He said motioning to a uniformed officer. "This is what your looking for understand?" he asked said pointing to the page.

"Yes sir." The young cop responded.

"Hey!" Elliot barked then smiled faintly, "Don't call me sir…I work for a living."

"Mrs. Fairbanks." Olivia spoke softly taking a seat on the couch, "Is there anything that you want to tell me?" she asked.

"Go to hell." Gina snapped back.

"Mrs. Fairbanks, I'm not sure you understand the situation you're in." Olivia tried to reason with her but was cut off when Elliot walked back into the room.

"Detective Benson, a minute please." He said motioning for her.

"Find something?" she asked in a whisper. Elliot held up a photo album and showed it to Olivia who flipped through it in horror. Four Polaroid pictures on each page with a description of each child and a price tag well over fifty thousand dollars for each. Olivia slammed the book shut handing it back to Elliot.

"Stand up Mrs. Fairbanks." Olivia said coldly. She had tried to cut the woman some slack…she wasn't exactly sure why but now she struggled not to draw her weapon and shoot her.

"You can't do this." She said as Olivia yanked her up by her arm roughly.

"No, you know what you can't do Gina?" Olivia asked turning her around and pulling one arm behind her back, "You can't take people's babies and sell them." She said sliding one cuff on and then reaching for the other and linking the two wrists together.

"I didn't do it. My hus-"

"Mrs. Fairbanks," Olivia spoke over her pleas, "You have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be used against you…"

Olivia secured the back door of the uniform's police car where her latest conquest was being held. She waited for Elliot to come out of the house and was surprised when Casey did.

"What's up Case?" Olivia asked adjusting her sunglasses.

Before Casey could respond Fairbanks yelled through the lowered window, "I want a deal!"

Casey stared at Fairbanks and then crouched down speaking with a slow coldness Olivia had never heard from her. "Mrs. Fairbanks, you aided in the kidnapping of seven infants who may never see their mother's again…if I had it my way I would personally put a bullet in your head but, I'll settle for making sure you die in prison." Casey stood slowly keeping her stare as ice, "No deal."

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"You lied to us Gina!" Olivia yelled in her ear as Elliot slapped pictures of the infants down in front of her.

"There must be a hundred babies here!" Elliot said shifting through the photos forcing her to look at them. "1990," He said pointing to one, "fifty-three thousand dollars, 1993, sixty-seven thousand dollars…you sold these babies!" he growled slamming his fist on the counter in a rage that permeated from his body in the form of sweat.

"You don't understand!" She pleaded through her tears.

"What don't we understand!" she barked, "I'll tell you what I don't understand," She continued softer as she sat, "How a woman, who was a mother herself, could do this to another mother."

"I had too." She pleaded softly.

"Nobody has to do anything." Elliot finally lowered his voice sitting beside Fairbanks.

"You don't understand." She repeated shaking her head.

"Then why don't you make us understand?" Olivia said almost irritated.

"I want a deal." She said again.

"You heard the ADA, no deal…but if your honest I can talk to her." Olivia said softly in hopes of gaining her trust. "Anyway you look at it Gina…your doing serious time."

"Crimes committed during the course of a kidnapping are automatic life sentences." Elliot informed her.

"We never killed not one of those babies." She protested.

"No." Olivia agreed, "But you did kill the father of one, didn't you?"

Gina Fairbanks lowered her head contemplating her decision and then looked up with a sense of decision written on her face. "If I tell you everything…will he get the death penalty?"

Olivia furrowed her brows, "We can't guarantee what a jury will do…but it's a definite possibility."

"Where do I start?" she exhaled.

Elliot pushed the record button on recorder in the middle of the table, "From the beginning, please state your name and address for the record."

"My name is Gina Fairbanks, I live at 76th and Adams."

"My name is detective Stabler I'm questioning Ms. Fairbanks with my partner detective Benson who is also present. We are being observed by Captain Cragen and ADA Novak."

Olivia took out her own pad to take notes, never able to fully rely on the recorder, "Go ahead Mrs. Fairbanks."

"It was a real life Pretty Woman." She said with a faint smile recounting her story. "Aaron found me while I was hooking and he took me into his home, treated me well and made me feel like a lady, he had a daughter named Chloe but she was a daddy's girl so we never really bonded. She let martial arts consume her so we never really had a relationship."

"When did things start deteriorating?" Olivia asked edging away from the mention of Chloe until she could be certain Gina knew Chloe had turned them in.

"The first time I got pregnant, in 1990." Her eyes misted.

"What happened?" Elliot asked.

"He told me to abort…that I didn't deserve to be a mother because I had been a prostitute. I was in shock…I thought he loved me…he told me he never did." She lowered her head.

"Why did you stay with him?" Olivia asked.

"Where was I supposed to go?"

"Shelter." Elliot suggested.

"Right, he's going to let that happen? Do you know what that would have done to his image?" she asked irritated at Elliot's suggestion.

"He suddenly changed his mind about the baby…but kept me locked in the house the whole pregnancy…said it was better to keep the pregnancy out of the lime light, I wasn't allowed to tell anyone."

"You didn't go to the doctor?" Olivia asked a little shocked.

" Only to deliver." She whispered, " A little girl." She offered a week smile.

"What happened to the baby?" Elliot asked.

Gina Fairbanks lowered her head and sobbed, "We went out on the boat…he said it was to celebrate the baby." She wiped a tear, "I was happy that he was beginning to accept her in the family." She exhaled, "He called me out onto the weather deck and asked to hold her." She closed her eyes and swallowed hard barely speaking above a whisper, "He threw my baby over board…and made me watch as she slowly sunk out of sight."

Olivia leaned back in her chair and looked at Elliot who seemed to have an equally difficult time grasping the evilness of what he'd just heard. "There must be a record of her birth." Olivia said softly.

"Yeah…there's also a record of her supposed adoption…it worked well because I kept my maiden name…no one put it together that his wife had a baby one minute and then the baby was gone the next." She lowered her head. "He told me if I said anything he would bury me in the legal system."

"Who's idea was it to start kidnapping and selling the babies?" Elliot asked.

"His…he said if I didn't help I would regret it…so I did." She confessed.

"Do you know who has possession of the children?" Elliot asked.

"No." He always kept quiet about that." She whispered.

"What happened at the Ficina residence?" Elliot asked.

"I'm suppose to wait in the car, while he goes in. The more kids we took the more violent he got. He rapped the wives beat the husbands…stole the children. He was covered in blood when he got in the car…I had to wash the little boy when we brought him home."

"Why seven?" Olivia asked, "There almost a hundred babies…but this particular crime spree, he only did seven…why?"

"He said it was perfection…that he was God." She whispered.

Olivia shook her head slightly out of shock, but, kept her gaze on her, "Why did he pick prostitutes?"

"He said that since they ruined his life…he would ruin theirs, he said we didn't deserve to be mother's." Gina sniffled and ran her hands over her eyes smearing the mascara.

"How did a prostitute ruin his life?" Elliot asked curiously.

"His first wife, Sarafina was a former prostitute, his firm that he was working at found out and passed him over for promotion to partner…he had to wait two more years for his partnership…he told me he killed her by making Chloe poison her with antifreeze and that if I wasn't careful…he could kill me and get away with it too. Thank God Chloe doesn't remember." She smiled faintly and Elliot wondered if Olivia's stomach had knotted as his had.

"What really happened to your son?" Olivia asked softly.

"He was angry that I had gotten pregnant again but he allowed me to have the baby…I was able to go out in public…I thought he'd had a change of heart until…"

"Until what?" Elliot asked.

Fairbanks let out a sob, "I told him…begged him to let me leave. He filled the baby bottle with antifreeze and milk…" She cried into her hands, "He held a gun to my head and made me feed him the bottle." She sobbed uncontrollably.

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Captain Cragen exhaled deeply looking at Casey who stood starring through the observation glass.

"Casey." He called her back into reality.

"No deal." She spoke quietly.

"Casey…the woman is guilty…but with reason." He said softly.

Casey picked up he bag, "Find out who he got to forge the adoption papers for those kids…I'm not making a deal with a woman who helped destroy the lives of innocent kids…I don't care what she's been through."

Cragen narrowed his vision at her noticing her misty eyes. "What's this really about?" he asked.

Casey didn't offer a response partly because she didn't think she could without crying. She turned and opened the door to see Olivia was reaching for the knob to come in.

"Casey?" Olivia stopped noticing her red eyes.

"No deal." She reiterated and sidestepped Olivia walking away and disappearing.

"Liv, let her go." Cragen said softly, "We need to know who forged the adoption papers, and what they did with their son's body." He said in a hollow voice.

Olivia nodded her head forgetting exactly why she'd come into the observation room and quietly returned to the interrogation room.

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"Gina." Olivia said softly as she reclaimed her seat.

"Who forged the adoption papers for the kids?" Olivia asked.

"He did…his primary emphasis is criminal defense but he also studied adoption law…he made sure there were no loose ends." She whispered, "Everything appeared legal to the people who adopted."

"What did he do with your son?" she asked as soft as she could. The woman may have been guilty of a lot of things…but no mother deserved to have their child taken from them.

Gina Fairbanks looked up and held Olivia's stare, "There is a flower bed in the back of my house that he makes me tend to…he buried our son there."

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Olivia sat at her desk, leaning her elbows on the edge and rubbing the back of her neck wishing Elliot could do it for her but knowing he couldn't. Elliot watched her closely as he tied up the report on Gina Fairbanks. He looked at the clock knowing that right now she would be on her way to being processed for a cell at Rikers.

Olivia exhaled and picked up the phone dialing a number quickly and pulling the loose hair behind her free ear as she waited for the other side to pick up.

"Mrs. Reynoso, Hi. This is Olivia….okay….right…"

Elliot listened knowing that Olivia had called to see how Isaac was doing because what she had just heard over the last couple of hours was more than she wanted to.

"Hey, Mrs. Reynoso, can you hold the phone to his ear please?" She asked.

Elliot smiled closing the manila folder and casting it to the side.

"Hi little man." Olivia smiled into the phone trying to keep her pooling eyes in check. Although there was no verbal response from Isaac Elliot could hear his gleeful cooing at the sound of her voice. "I'll see you in a couple of hours big boy." She smiled. "Thanks Mrs. Reynoso, I'll see you about five-fifteen…okay bye." Olivia hung up the phone and sighed. "When are we going to pick up Aaron?" She asked Elliot.

"I think Cragen is working on that right now." Elliot smiled. "How's Isaac?"

"He just woke up and she was getting ready to feed him." She smiled, "Hey, do you mind finishing my paperwork?" she offered a fake sad face.

"Why?" he protested, "I hate paperwork."

"I know," She smiled, "You pawn yours off on me all the time. Can you please…I need to talk to Casey, I think she's bothered by this case." She said standing.

"Okay…but you owe me." He smiled taking a drink of his coffee.

Olivia walked past him grazing his shoulder with her hand and a motion only they would know, "You're a super hero El." She smiled, "Call me if Cragen says we can pick him up." She said walking out.

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Olivia stopped at the doorframe and observed Casey sitting in her chair staring at a picture of her and Paul that sat on her filing cabinet. She licked her gently and wiped a tear from her cheek as she barely rocked back and forth in the chair.

"Working hard or hardly working?" Olivia whispered walking in and offering a cup of coffee.

"Hardly working." Casey blushed and quickly cleared her throat in an effort to regain her composure.

Olivia looked at the picture and back at Casey before sitting down, "Trouble in paradise?"

"What?" Casey asked looking at the picture and then back at Olivia, "No, actually…that keeps getting better and better." She smiled. "What brings you by?"

"Ooh" Olivia pretended to wince, "I've seen you change the subject much better than that…what' s up Casey, you seemed upset today during the questioning."

"I'm fine…tired." She offered rubbing the back of her neck.

Olivia laughed, "You lie as well as I do."

"What? I'm not lying." She protested.

"Yeah ya are." Olivia sipped her coffee, "Casey, I've never seen you act that way with a suspect before…what gives?" Olivia asked.

"Justice gives Liv. And in her case it gives life in prison." Casey said defensively.

"Casey," Olivia leaned forward resting her elbows on her thighs, "It's not always about justice…sometimes it's about grace."

"Grace!" Casey's eyes widened, "You want this woman to get off?" She asked.

"No." Olivia answered confidently, "But I want people to understand _why_ she did what she did, she's not innocent, but she 's not cold blooded either…her husband is." Olivia explained.

Casey spoke almost angrily, "She took babies away from parent's who _wanted_ them Olivia…you can't let her off!"

Olivia narrowed her vision and spoke softly, "That's what this is all about isn't it?" she offered a weak smile.

"What?"

"You wanted your children and lost them and your angry she didn't fight for hers." Olivia said understandingly.

Casey closed her eyes in defeat and sat in silence before responding softly, "She could have fought…couldn't she have?"

"Maybe…but we can't know that." Olivia said standing to her feet, "You're a good person Casey, don't let this case spot you." Olivia turned to leave.

"Liv, wait." Casey offered a smile through her tears. "Paul and I want to have you and Elliot and the little one over tomorrow night for dinner."

Olivia smiled at the young woman's innocence, "We'll be there."

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Elliot held Isaac softly as Olivia prepared dinner mixing this and that. He strolled into the kitchen with a smile on his face and then glared at the two beagles who had sneaked into the kitchen behind him "CrackerJack, out!" he commanded them and then returned to Olivia as they strolled away.

"Smells good." He said kissing her neck softly, careful not to smother their son.

"We'll, hamburger helper does wonders." She laughed.

"I was talking about you." He teased her, "But yeah, the food smells good too."

"Speaking of dinner," she smiled taking the food off of the burner and turning to him, "We're having dinner at Paul and Casey's tomorrow night."

"Ooh, you think they're pregnant?" Elliot asked with a grin.

"Elliot!" Olivia punched him softly in his shoulder, "How am I supposed to know." She smiled.

"Oh, come on Liv," he smiled passing Isaac to her as he pulled the plates from the cupboard, "You don't think that would be awesome?"

"Of course I do." She said adjusting Isaac in her arms, "I'm just not as fascinated by their sex life as you are." She arched her brows daring him to protest.

Elliot put the plates down and pointed at her, "Hey woman!" he smiled pulling her close to him, "The only sex life I care about is yours." He smiled bending to kiss her so as to not wake up Isaac who seemed to crash immediately in her arms.

"Don't you mean _ours_?" she laughed.

"Nope, all I care about is _yours_…if you're getting any and if you're enjoying it." He smiled.

"Oh," she arched her brows and smiled, "definitely getting it and definitely enjoying it." She assured him with another kiss. "I'm gonna put him down so we can have dinner."

Olivia returned finding that Elliot had set the table and filled the plates with food for her. "Hey, thanks." She smiled kissing him gently and trying to separate only to feel him tighten his embrace around her and deepen the kiss. He moved in her mouth with intensity as he pinned her against the counter and his body.

"I thought you were hungry." She stated, reminding him that he had asked that she cooked tonight.

"I am." he said through a kiss, and he slid his hand in her back pocket, "But not for food." He whispered kissing her neck.

Olivia pushed him away softly blushing with embracement. "Elliot I can't-"

"Why not?" he asked a little taken back. "I'm a good looking guy Liv." He smiled cockily.

"I'm aware of that." She said lowering her head.

Elliot smiled kissing the crown of her head, "This because of last night?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," She confessed, "Guess I got a little stage freight now." She offered a weak giggle.

He decided to have mercy on her knowing that when she wanted to she would come to him, "Let's eat then shall we?" he smiled turning her so that he embraced her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder as they walked to the kitchen table.

"Don't be upset with me." She whispered reaching up and behind to caress his cheek.

"I'm absolutely not upset with you…a girl's gotta eat right?"

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Elliot held Olivia's slender frame in his embrace as they both slept with their legs tangled together as his hand rested over her abdomen and his head nestled its self in the curve of her neck. They rarely if ever slept without some physical form of contact and neither one of them complained about it, in fact, they craved it. Elliot found himself exhaling sharply against her neck as his cell phone went off. He rolled over quickly in a sleepy daze in an effort to let Olivia sleep.

"Stabler." He answered in a gruff voice, "WHAT!" he shouted sitting straight up, "You can't be serious!" he spoke and then silenced himself when he felt Olivia stir and kneel behind him, kissing his shoulder softly as he exhaled, "Yeah, let me tell Liv first….no, let Liv, she talked with her earlier…alright Cap, see you in thirty minutes." Elliot let out another breath and flipped his cell phone closed tossing it in his lap.

"What is it Elliot?" she asked softly wrapping her hands around him and feeling the tenseness in his chest.

"Cragen wants me at the station to pick up Aaron." He whispered lowering his head, "Your gonna want to talk to Casey, she's going to take it hard." He said reaching across his chest to his shoulder to hold her hand.

"Take what hard?" she asked not so sure if she wanted to know.

"Gina Fairbanks hanged herself."


	18. Chapter 18 Looks Like Vacation

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 18 Looks like vacation

Paul Novak's body jumped at the sound of a knock at the door. He stirred slightly and nuzzled back into Casey's body when the knock came again slightly louder but seemingly more urgent. He exhaled in defeat and stealthily removed his arms from his wife's body sliding out of the bed. The knocks continued as he reached for his glasses and fumbled through the dark room escaping to the hallway and flipping the first available light on. He looked through the peephole and furrowed his brows then looked at his watch and opened the door.

"Olivia?" he said noticing Isaac was sleeping peacefully in the car seat resting at her feet, it dawned on him that while he'd thought she was here for a case, the presence of her son meant otherwise. "Are you okay? Where's Elliot?" He asked opening the door and helping her lift the car seat noticing that Isaac had put on weight, "You two okay?" he asked letting her in and closing the door, "did he hurt you Olivia?" Paul asked softly noticing the dark circles around her eyes.

"Paul," She tried not to laugh, "Settle." She smiled, "Elliot's at work and I need to talk to Casey."

Paul shook his head surprised at his own behavior, "Sorry, I guess I'm overprotective." He laughed motioning her to the living room.

"Don't worry Paul," she adjusted Isaac's blanket as Paul set the car seat on the couch, "Elliot's good to me."

Paul smiled, "Sorry I jumped you with all the questions."

"Hey, I'd be suspicious if someone showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night, but I really need to speak with Casey, can you wake her up please."

Paul smiled, "Sure," he walked away and snickered, "You got a cannon?"

Flipping on the light to the bedroom, Paul walked into the bedroom to see that Casey had shifted her body to his side of the bed. He didn't want to have to wake her up but knew that Olivia wouldn't have stopped by unannounced in the middle of the night if it weren't important. "Case, wake up." He spoke normally but shook her body softly; the only thing harder than engineering a new medicine at work was waking Casey up.

"Come on Casey I need you up." He spoke somewhat tired as he pulled the blankets off of her body reveling her flannel pants and tank top.

She stirred turning her head away from him and mumbling into the pillow, "What time is it?"

"Your late for work." He lied.

"What!" She screeched bolting up.

"I lied." He confessed kissing her suddenly before she killed him. She brought herself in a kneeling position deepening the kiss as she felt his hands crawl up her back and cup her cheeks as he pulled away.

"As much as I'd like to continue this," he whispered kissing her lips softly, "Olivia is here."

"What?" Casey pulled back, "What time is it?" she asked again furrowing her brows in confusion.

"Three forty-seven in the morning, said she needs to talk to you." He kissed her forehead, "Come on." He extended his hand to her and helped her off the bed. She stood and straightened her shirt then finger combed her hair as Paul walked in front of her.

"Wait." She smiled taking hold of his wrist and sliding up closer to him.

"What?" He narrowed his vision and then closed his eyes feeling the sensation of her lips against his. "Cas-" She took advantage of his slightly parted lips and slipped her tongue into his mouth searching him delicately and then pulling away from him just as he tried to engage her, "I love your body." She whispered resting her hands on his hips.

"Really? That's the first time you've said that." He grinned.

"Really." She kissed his check, "But don't ever start something you can't finish." She whispered grinding her pelvis into his hearing him moan in protest as she walked away, "Come on," She teased, "We've got company." She smiled walking with him down the hallway and then stopping to see Olivia had fallen asleep bottle-feeding Isaac in her arms.

Casey smiled and whispered, "Olivia."

Olivia instantly opened her eyes and blushed seeing them both looking at her, "Sorry, he woke up." She smiled down at her son who sucked happily on the bottle. "Sorry to stop by like this Casey but I need to talk to you."

Casey picked up on the stress in her voice and sat slowly across from her, "Are you okay?" Casey asked softly, "What's wrong? Where's Elliot? Are you guys okay?"

Olivia laughed at the sweetness of the two people in front of her, "You two worry too much, we're doing great." She smiled, "But I wanted to tell you before you got a call in the morning."

"Tell me what?" Casey asked hugging her body in the slight chill she felt sitting in a tank top.

Paul instantly covered her with the blanket from the back of the chair, "You know what?" he spoke to them both, "Why don't I take this little guy," He extended his arms for Isaac, "and leave you two to talk about…whatever it is you need to."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked shifting Isaac into his arms, "I don't want to intrude."

"Believe me he doesn't mind." Casey smirked knowing he loved to have kids around and he stole any opportunity with them he could. She found herself happy to being trying for their own baby with a man who was as delicate as he was with children.

"I'll be in my office when you're done." He picked up the bottle and leaned down placing a kiss on Casey's head and whispering in her ear, "I love you."

Casey blushed and smiled seeing him disappear into the office of their house; she returned her gaze to Olivia who was biting her lip, "What's the matter?"

"Casey," Olivia exhaled, "It's about Gina-"

"Oh good." Casey smiled leaning into the conversation, "I did a lot of thinking and I discussed it with Paul…leaving out pertinent information of course, anyway, I'm gonna offer her a deal for involuntary manslaughter and aiding and abetting…she'll be out in five years, three with good behavior."

Olivia felt her face loose it's color, Casey had decided to the right thing…which made what she was about to tell her all the more painful. "You're a good person Casey, you made a good decision." She whispered.

Casey tilted her head to one side, "Then why do I smell a big but coming down the pipe?"

Olivia ran her hand through her hair and rested her head in her palm, "Casey," Olivia found herself struggling, she thought it odd that she would be hurting Casey the way she was. Usually it was her who struggled with the cases not Casey.

"What is it Olivia?"

"Fairbanks…is dead." Olivia kept her voice as soft and balanced as possible, "I'm sorry Casey."

Casey stared in disbelief, "How?"

Olivia swallowed knowing her next statement was going to cause Casey to question herself, because that's what she did each time she lost a victim or a perp was killed in lock up. "She hanged herself."

While one probably wouldn't have thought it was possible for Casey Novak to become paler than her natural skin color, she did just that in a split second. She lowered her gaze whispering in disbelief, "I told her I would have killed her myself."

"This isn't your fault Casey."

"Yes it is…I should have given a deal." She tried to blink away the tears that started to form.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Olivia assured her.

"How can you say that?" Casey's voice rose out of frustration as she stood to her feet running a hand through her hair, "I took away the hope of her ever being with her family!"

"She took away that hope when she started helping in the kidnappings." Olivia corrected her as she stood and made her way closer to her friend.

Casey rubbed the back on her neck trying to work out a kink before it got any worse, "Did she leave a suicide note?" Casey asked defeated by the situation.

"I'm not sure." Olivia told the truth, "If she did, it'll be bagged as evidence."

Casey shook her head softly, "Thanks for telling me, I appreciate it." Casey struggled with the information she had just been given.

Olivia knew that Casey probably wouldn't be going back to sleep tonight but she was confidant that Paul and her had come far enough that he would be there for her when she left. "Come here." Olivia said wrapping her arms around Casey and squeezing her tightly, "You a good prosecutor, a great person and my friend, don't let this eat you." She told her before separating from her. "I've got to go get my son before your husband shows him how to make vicodin."

Casey busted out in a laugh at the thought and Olivia smiled softly seeing Casey step out of the seriousness of the situation if only for a moment. "Liv?" Casey exhaled, "Can you tell him I went back to bed I don't fe-"

"Say no more." Olivia squeezed her forearm, "I'll see you tomorrow, meet with Alex and I for coffee?"

"Wait…you and Elliot are coming for dinner right?" Casey clarified.

"Yeah absolutely, but Alex works two blocks down form the station house at the elementary school, so she'll take her lunch and meet up with us at noon…deal?"

Casey offered a half smile, "I know what your doing Liv."

"What's that?" She asked digging for her keys in her pocket.

"Making me agree to coffee because you know I would call in tomorrow and take the day off to wallow in my own self pity." She folded her arms playfully.

"Who?" Olivia feigned insult, "Me?"

"Yeah yeah…I'll see you tomorrow." Casey offered a fake smile that Olivia saw through but allowed her to disappear back to her bedroom.

Olivia peeked through the ajar door of the office expecting to see her poor son being bored to death from Paul giving a lecture on molecular structure to him, after all, Casey spends her free time instructing him on law, Fin tells him the difference between a lower eastside pimp and an upper eastside pimp while Munch…well she didn't want to know what he filled her son's mind with.

She was surprised to see him leaned back in his office chair with Isaac lying against is abdomen. He held Isaac's bottle while he explained to him the plot of the cartoon they were watching.

Olivia smiled, "Little young isn't he?"

Paul jumped slightly and then blushed being caught watching cartoons with his friend's infant son was bad…but knowing the plotline of the cartoon was…well…less than adult. "Veggietales." He said clearly embraced.

"Well," Olivia laughed as he handed Isaac to her, "It beats Cragen's lecture on precinct politics." She crouched down strapping her son into' the car seat, "I have to say, I'm surprised though."

"How's that?" he stood turning the television off.

"We'll" she stood to her feet, "I guess I thought you would recite the periodic table of the elements to him." They both laughed as he walked her to the door.

"Oh, that's much to difficult for a boy his age." He informed her adjusting his glasses, "I have to give him another month or so before we tackle that project." He smiled sweetly as he opened the door, "It was good to see you Olivia, tell Elliot I said hi."

"You can tell him yourself at dinner." Olivia reminded him hoping to read something he might slip through in his facial expression. There was nothing and she scolded herself for developing Elliot's curiosity of their state of pregnancy.

"Right, I almost forgot." He embraced her in a friendly hug and separated from her with a worried face, "Is she okay?" he asked.

Olivia shifted the car seat to her dominant hand, "Talk to her…love her." She offered before turning and retreating to her car.

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Casey Novak stood in the shower feeling as though she really had put that bullet in Gina Fairbanks' head. _Why didn't I deal_? She asked herself leaning into the shower stream and resting her palms against the marble wall of the shower. She was happy to move from the cramped confines of her apartment to Paul's house, he did have impeccable taste she had to give him that.

Her mind raced as she questioned her ability as a prosecutor and the morality of herself. She had let her personal feelings get in the way and now a woman was dead. She shook her head softly as she felt the tears fall down her already wet face.

"Room for one more?" Paul said opening the shower door just slightly to keep the steam in. He knew a steaming shower was just what she would want when she felt like crap.

Casey said nothing but extended her hand to him and wrapped it around her waist as she felt the skin of his body touch the length of hers. He kissed her gently on the back of her shoulder feeling it rise and fall as she struggled to hold in her sobs. "Let it out Casey, go ahead." He whispered from behind her.

"She's dead." Casey whispered so soft he almost didn't hear her over the water.

"What? Who is?"

"The lady I was telling you about last night, she killed herself." She turned her body to face him and he turned them both so his body shielded them from the stream.

"And your blaming yourself?" he asked softly tucking her wet hair behind her ears.

She shook her head agreeing with his statement before taking a step closer and resting her head against his chest. "I'm accepting responsibility for my actions." She whispered through the sound of the water hoping to sound like a lawyer and not a woman responsible for ending another woman's life.

"Sounds like a snotty way of beating yourself up for something you didn't have control over." He whispered back pushing her gently away to look at her eye to eye, "Your not responsible for her actions Casey."

"But I am for mine right?"

"Stop blaming yourself, I'm willing to bet any good ADA would have done the same thing." He assured her running his knuckles softly against her cheek, "Your tenacious, there's nothing wrong with that."

"Then why do I feel like crap?" she asked covering his hand with hers and kissing his open palm. "Why do I feel like I have her blood on my hands?"

"Because you're a good person…who maybe had a small lapse in judgment, because of her own experiences?" He suggested knowing full well why Casey had wanted to put the screws to Fairbanks.

"I'm sorry." She whispered barely audible, barely able to contain the sobs that came forth as she buried her face in shame against his naked chest.

"For what?" he furrowed his eyes in confusion.

"Sara." She mumbled shakily, "If I would have-"

"Stop!" he said firmly pulling her away from him and looking at her only inches away.

"I love you. I still love Sara even though we never got to hear her cry or change her diaper or feed her, but I know that it isn't anyone's fault that she's not with us." He spoke trying to fight the tears that were falling and failing miserably, "Don't apologize for something you had no control over." He took her back into his slick arms and kissed the crown of her head.

"I want her back." Casey sobbed into his chest, "I think about her everyday…and I want her here with me."

"I know."

"I wanted to feed her, take her to school…love her." She cried harder knowing that would never happen.

Paul turned the water off and stepped out passing a towel to her and retrieving one swiping it along his muscular body. "You're a good person Casey, you've got a big heart no matter how many lawyer tactics you try to hide behind. He informed her pulling on a pair of boxers. He turned to see her sitting naked on the closed toilet sop and wet with the towel in her hand crying silent tears that seemed to never end.

He walked quietly to her defeated body and slowly took the towel from her. Starting with her hair he dried it softly careful not to pull her hair. Kissing her gently on the mouth he padded her shoulders and chest with the towel taking the water from her body and kissing the dry path the towel made. "Stand up." He whispered extending his arm to her as she rose. He kneeled and silently padded her body dry kissing her as he dried first the back as he rose to his feet again.

Taking her hand he lead her to the mirror and held her from behind as they looked silently at one another. Her eyes pleading with him to accept her, to love her in this moment of self doubt, and his eyes telling her there was no need to ask. He kissed her naked should and pulled her brush out. Starting from the bottom and working his way up he gently combed her red locks until it was slicked back from the wetness and tucked neatly behind her ears the same way she did every night that he'd known her. He pulled his shirt off of the hook behind them and held it open to her form allowing her to slip her arms in as he buttoned the middle button from behind, looking at her in the mirror. He found it funny how she insisted on wearing his dress shirts to bed but he certainly didn't argue, in fact, he found it to be much sexier than lingerie.

Paul whispered softly into her ear as she wrapped his arms tighter around her body, "What do you want tonight Casey?"

She sniffled at the extreme difference in Paul, whereas before he would have told her to grow up and go back to bed, he stood here listening to her, affirming her and truly wanting to know what she needed from him to make things just a little easier to bear. "Can you hold my while I fall asleep?" she whispered as a tear escaped despite her command for it to stay.

Paul gently wiped it away using the mirror as his guide as he stood behind her, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

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Olivia fondled her holster as she watched Aaron through the observation glass; "So this is him?" she spoke softly almost to herself even though she knew Elliot was standing behind her.

"That's the rotting peace of filth." Elliot confirmed taking a drink of coffee.

"Has he gave anything up?" she asked.

"Nope."

"Has he lawyer up?" she questioned as she continued to stare with her arms folded around her abdomen.

"No, said he was going to represent himself." Elliot smiled, "He's a sitting duck."

"He's arrogant." Olivia whispered.

"Yeah he is." He agreed, "You want to do this? You look like crap." He smiled.

"I'll remind you of that when you're trying to seduce me tonight." She answered back still starring through the glass unwilling to take her eyes off of a man who could kill another man and steal his son after raping seven women.

"He doesn't know Gina's dead." Elliot told her as he opened up the file they would use to interrogate. "And he doe-"

"Wait…what did you say?" Olivia furrowed her brows looking intently at Elliot for the first time since he's entered the room.

"He doesn't know about Fairbanks." He reiterated.

"Good." He shook her head looking at Aaron once more before returning to Elliot, "Follow my lead?"

"Absolutely." He grinned wondering what she was up to.

"Let's get this done then." She exhaled, "We got free diner waiting for us at Casey's tonight." She smiled softly as they made her way back to the interrogation room.

"Hello Aaron." Olivia stated as if she would like to get to know him.

"Hello detective." He responded just as friendly.

As Elliot sat down across from Aaron she stood behind him noticing he didn't particularly care for her choice of positioning. He was a meticulous demon to say the least. His tie knot was dead on and pinned securely to his shirt while his suit was lint free. His eyes told her he had sold his sole to the devil long before she'd heard anything about the cases and she wondered if he was perhaps born with evil instead of a soul. His salt and pepper hair was cut short and precise to match the precise sculpting of his body.

"I have to tell you Aaron," Olivia started her dance, "Your wife came in here with the strangest story."

"And what would that be?" He smiled adjusting the tail of his tie.

"We'll," Elliot smiled leaning over the table, "She's said you have a little fascination with um," he snapped his fingers as if trying to recall something in his mind, "What's it called?" he motioned to Olivia as they played off one another.

"Glycide Ethylene." She said confidently knowing it was entirely incorrect.

"You mean Ethanol Glycol?" Aaron corrected.

"Yeah," Elliot snapped and pointed at him with a smile, "That's it…us detectives," he smiled rolling his eyes, "Not to smart…the most we know is the difference between the jelly doughnut and the custard." He smiled, "How did you know it was Ethanol Glycol?" he asked hoping to set the bait.

"I took a guess." He said flatly.

"Pretty good guess." Olivia smirked form behind him, "Sounded like you were pretty sure of what you were talking about there."

"I'm a confidant man…even when I'm wrong." He said tapping his index finger lightly on the table, "Why are you two wasting my time?" he asked again.

Olivia pushed herself off of the wall with her should blades and walked slowly around the interrogation room, "Well, Gina gave me a flower this morning." She smiled repositioning herself behind him as she lied about her encounter with his wife.

"A lily." Elliot offered the specifics.

Olivia shoved her ands in her pockets as she stood one, perhaps two inches from Aaron's back, "When she told me it was from her own flower bed."

"Detective Benson had to have more." Elliot smiled as if this was a standard thing.

"I went to your house to pick one." She said coldly as she bent down to whisper in his ear, "Guess what I found?"

"You'll never guess." Elliot said resting his head in his palm as if he were a schoolboy enjoying a good story.

Aaron swallowed and barely managed to force out a word, "What?"

Olivia bent and whispered dauntingly in his other ear, "Your baby."

"This is ridiculous!" he yelled.

"Not really." Elliot smiled waving the file in front of him, "We did an autopsy…you got sloppy."

Olivia sat on the corner of the table directly to the side of Aaron, "Or just impatient?"

"I didn't hurt my son!" he barked.

"Uh huh…he killed himself?" Olivia asked sarcastically, "Do you know what eight ounces of antifreeze will do to an infant?" she asked leaning into his face and whispering, "Once the helpless baby drinks what his daddy puts in the bottle his tiny kidneys start to form crystals,"

Elliot stood and sat on the opposite corner so Aaron had to face both of them at once, "his blood can't filter correctly." He added.

"It's excruciatingly painful." Olivia told him boring a hole through his eyes. "That baby trusted you and you murdered him."

"Prove it." The arrogant words dripped out of his mouth.

Elliot smiled at Olivia, "Prove it he says."

"That's what I heard." She stood to her feet knowing her only hopes in trapping a man who can out maneuver her in the realm of the law was a sneak attack. "You want us to prove it?" he said with her back to him as she rubbed her neck, "Fine!" she suddenly turned around yanking him from his seat and shoving him into the wall balling his suit jacket in her hands as she heard his head hit the concrete, "Your wife saved the bottle!" she bluffed hoping he would bite and knowing in his arrogance he would.

"Detective!" Elliot separated the two playing the good cop and at the same time finding Olivia as the bad cop…very interesting.

"We have the bottle Aaron." Olivia smiled stepping back, "We have your prints."

"You're setting me up!" He screeched back suddenly alarmed, "I burned that bottle aft-"

Olivia arched her brows shocked that he actually stuck his foot in his mouth that soon, "So you admit that's how he died." She smiled knowing it would be all down hill from here.

"You can't link that to me." He said sitting back down.

"No, but your wife can and so can this." Elliot said holding up the journal that Aaron's daughter had given them.

"Look familiar?" Olivia asked, "Tells us how you killed your first wife…and by the way, we pulled the file…everything points to you."

"That's impossible?"

"Why" Elliot asked innocently.

"Because I…I…"

"Because you thought you could get away with murder?" Olivia offered, "Let me tell you a secret Aaron." She smiled her best bad cop smile, "I have you're balls in a vice and I'm gonna keep turning the lever until I bring a new meaning to the word Nut Cracker…if you get my drift."

Aaron looked at her and then at Elliot, "Hey," Elliot raised his hands, "Don't look at me…I got to work with her…she's always got by balls in a vice."

"Here's the situation." Olivia sat down softly, "We've got you on the murder of your own infant son…we offered you're wife immunity, you're screwed Lawyer Man."

Elliot tried to contain his worried expression as Olivia constructed a more elaborate bluff. He prayed silently that they wouldn't trip themselves up but he continued following her lead just the same. "We're getting that needle in your arm one way or another my man." Elliot informed him.

"See, I don't really care who's murder gets the needle in your arm," Olivia crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair, "Just so long as it gets there."

"We've got you," Elliot shook his head as if he were in disbelief and he was, not knowing what elaborate lie would come out of his mouth next.

"My wife can't testify against me your ignorant ass…spousal privilege." He said smugly.

Elliot looked at Olivia pretending to be defeated, "He's right."

Olivia nodded in agreement but then offered her own version, "You're right, she can't testify about your _communication_…but she can testify about your _actions_." She smiled seeing the obvious shock on Aaron's face. She had him and he knew it.

"Damn detective." Elliot decided to rub it in, "Those community law classes are paying off."

Olivia responded in fake arrogance, "Well, you, know…some of got it," she looked back at Aaron, "and some of us are about to loose everything we've ever known."

"You have to understand my situation." Aaron began to back pedal.

"Do you know what this is?" Olivia asked standing and holding out her thumb and index finger with only a tiny space between the fingertips.

"No."

Olivia raised her voice yelling in his ear, "This is ten tons of compressed 'I don't give a crap about your situation!" she drug her chair in front of him sitting in it backward, "You killed your wife!" she yelled watching the bead of sweat form on his brow as Elliot got closer.

"Than you killed your first baby!" Elliot's voice suddenly boomed through the room.

"Then your next baby!" Olivia slammed her palm on the table, "Then another!" She slammed her hand again.

"Your raped innocent women!" Elliot barked slamming his fist into the table "Killed a woman's husband after you sold her son!" he slammed it again as he inched closer to his face.

Olivia leaned in equally close so that both were only inches away, "You used your own daughter to kill someone you sick sonovabitch!"

"ALRIGHT!" he finally barked knowing they weren't going to let up.

Olivia was thankful he caved she didn't know how much longer they could keep up the façade. "Alright, what?" she snapped.

"I want a deal."

Olivia looked at Elliot, "He wants a deal." She said dryly.

"So I heard." He shook his head, "What do you got that you think we want?"

"The names and address of the families I sold the kids too." He closed his eyes knowing he just made a huge mistake.

"So you admit you sold the kids?" Elliot smiled, "How on earth are you senior partner at a law firm…I'd be scared out of my mind to let you defend me."

"Give me the deal," Aaron snarled, "Or die knowing that you did nothing to reunite children with there parents."

Olivia flipped open her ringing cell phone, "Benson."

"Give him the deal." Casey instructed and simply hung up.

She returned the cell phone to her pocket and sat down, "You got your deal," She slid the legal pad over to him, "Start witting."

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Perhaps it was the third Venti Pumpkin spice latte that did her in or perhaps it was the stress of interrogating a perp that she knew should die a painful death, whatever it was, Olivia found herself hunched over blowing chunks into the toilet.

"You okay?" Elliot asked handing her a towel and wincing as he body contacted again, "Geez Liv, what did you eat?"

"We'll," She looked in the toilet at the half masticated food, "I can't really remember…but it didn't look anything like that when I ate it." She let out a small laugh. Elliot fixed her toothbrush and helped her to her feet. "Can I ask you something?" he blushed knowing he would sound stupid when he asked his favor.

Olivia nodded her head affirmatively as she brushed her teeth and spoke through the motions, "Sure what's on your mind?"

"We'll," he said not exactly sure he wanted to ask now.

She spit the excess paste into the sink and wiped her mouth then reached for the Listerine, "What is it Elliot?" She asked softly sensing his stress. She took a gulp and swished it around in her mouth as she looked at him waiting for his question.

"You always pick out our clothes when we go out and…"

Olivia spat the Listerine out turning the water on to rinse it as she wiped her mouth, "Does that bother you?" she asked, not thinking it had but wondering what his line of thinking was. She turned the water off and wiped her hands allowing herself to lean against the sink.

"No," he smiled, "Not at all, I was just wondering if…"

"If?" She waited…what could possibly be the big deal?

"If I could dress you tonight." He said shyly.

Olivia raised her eyebrows remembering that her husband, as sweet as he was, had a few problems with color coordination, he mixed patterns, fabrics and she winced remembering the clip on tie conversation, but nonetheless she smiled, "Sure." She felt the need to return to the toilet knowing that she may be showing up to dinner in clothes that…well, she didn't want to think about it anymore.

"That's it?" Elliot was shocked that she'd given in so easily.

"That's it." She shrugged her shoulders, "I'm gonna get Isaac ready while you make…your selection." She exhaled kissing him gently on the cheek and offering up a silent prayer for at least matching socks.

It was just as Olivia placed a can of powdered formula in the diaper bag that Elliot snuck up behind her kissing her neck gently. "What do you think?" he asked allowing her to turn and pass judgment on his attire.

"Wow!"

"That bad?" Elliot questioned looking down.

"It's…you look…sexy." She smiled looking at Elliot who wore a simple black T-shirt and slacks with a black dress jacket.

"I thought I'd try something different." He tried to hold his blush at bay.

She ran her hands over his chest and abdomen admiring the tight fit that enhanced his body, "I could enjoy this." She smiled.

"I put your clothes on the bed." His eyes flickered with a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. "If you don't like it wear som-"

"I'm wearing whatever is on that bed." She kissed his lips gently and retreated to meet her fate.

Elliot smiled at his son still in awe of the specs of brown that floated in his deep blue eyes. He was his mother's son there was no doubt. He lowered Isaac into the car seat and buckled him in calling for Olivia, "Honey, if it's that bad just throw on Jeans were gon-"

Elliot stopped mid sentence seeing Olivia walk into the living room.

"Wow." He stood slowly as she approached him in a little black dress that would make any preacher lay down their book. "You look amazing." He smiled tracing the contours of her neck and shoulders with fingertips. "Maybe we should stay here tonight."

"Dream on Stabler…free food awaits." She teased as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him gently down to her lips. Letting the stress of the interrogation, the dreams of loosing him and Isaac all disappear against his lips. "Maybe I should let you dress us more often?"

"Maybe." He smiled kissing her again as he walked softly back into the wall.

She arched her head back as he explored the terrain of her neck, "Who did you call for help?" she teased him bringing his lips back to meet hers.

"No one." He sucked her bottom lip.

"You're lying." She laughed fighting her way into his mouth as she took gently from him his own stresses and preoccupations. While they hadn't talked about it lately they both new something loomed on the horizon of darkness.

"I'm a big boy Liv." He smiled running his pelvis against hers in hopes she understood the duality of his statement. "I can dress myself."

Olivia moaned feeling him against her, "Yeah, which is what were gonna be doing again if we don't stop…now." She kissed him one last time and gently pushed him away.

"I want you." He smiled.

"I know."

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"Hey guys!" Paul greeted Olivia and Elliot at the door, "We just put the grub on the table, come on in." he smiled opening the door to their home for his friends.

"Hey your late." Casey smiled walking out of the kitchen with a smile.

"Wardrobe malfunction." Olivia lied picking Isaac out of the car seat.

"Wardrobe?" Casey folded her arms in confusion, "Elliot I told you on the phone when you called exactly what to do."

Elliot bowed his head with a smile as Casey returned to the kitchen. He knew he'd just been accidentally ratted out by his friend and completely found out by his wife. Olivia saw his embarrassment and smiled at his blushed face. She turned his face to her and kissed his cheek softly, "Thank you." She grinned before walking into the kitchen.

"You look good Liv." Casey smiled, "He was frantic on the phone…you should have heard him." She laughed.

"He loves you." Paul interjected as he grabbed a bowel of food form the counter, "I wouldn't dare dress Casey." He smiled and retreated quickly before he got the death look that he knew would follow his remark.

"You doing okay Casey?" Olivia asked wrapping her arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah…as good as it gets I guess." She offered a smile and then held out her hand for Isaac.

Olivia passed him along happy to pawn him off…he was gaining weight it seemed, she smiled knowing her little boy was growing entirely too fast. "Lets eat!" She clapped her hands and followed the group to the dinning table.

As the food was passed around, Isaac seemed to find himself in everyone's arms at any given point during the meal and the happy coos coming from him indicated he was just fine with it especially when Paul dabbled a little bit of chocolate on his tiny tongue causing him to kick his feet in joy.

"Just like his mom…a chocolate freak!" Casey laughed.

"Alright guys what gives?" Elliot couldn't contain himself and Olivia found herself putting her hand on his thigh in an effort to calm him before he said something stupid like, "_Hey, you pregnant or what?" _

"Well," Casey smiled, "Guess who's pregnant?"

"I knew it!" Elliot smiled.

"Wow, that is so awesome Casey." Olivia smiled.

Casey furrowed her eyebrows, "I didn't know you were that invested."

"We're absolutely invested!" Elliot assured her almost insulted.

"She's an actress." Paul said a little shocked at their behavior.

"What?" Elliot furrowed his brows.

"Casey, who are you talking about?" Olivia shook her head reaching for Isaac as Paul handed him to her.

"That chic Elliot says looks like you…what's her name?" Casey asked trying to recall the name, "It's difficult, Paul knows it, he watches the show." She informed them, "What's her name again?"

"Um?" Paul stopped to think, "You know what? I can't remember but her dad was Mr. Olympia."

"Ah," Elliot frowned, "I know who your talking about."

"Yeah, so do I." Olivia exhaled a little surprised to find herself bummed.

"Who did you think we were talking about?" Casey asked in curiosity.

"Well-" Elliot was going to spill.

"No one." Olivia interjected, "But come on you didn't bring us here to tell us that Hargitay was pregnant."

"That's it!" Paul shouted as if he'd just won a round of charades, "Something Hargitay."

"Way to get specific." Casey smiled.

"Alright," Paul raised his hands in surrender, "Nothing gets by the detectives I see." He smiled.

"Paul and I noticed that since you've been married you haven't been able to do normal couple stuff, like celebrate your anniversary-"

Elliot and Olivia jerked their heads to quickly look at each other and then they started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Casey asked confused.

"We forgot.' They responded in simultaneous laughter.

"We've been so busy with the cases and Isaac." Olivia smiled, "That we forgot our own anniversary."

"That's pretty bad." Elliot chuckled.

"Yeah it is." Paul agreed, "That's why Casey and I put a little something together for you guys." He smiled sliding an envelope over to them. Elliot opened it while Paul continued, "You two deserve a weekend away from this city!" He smiled.

"If you'll let us." Casey offered, "We'll stay at your house and watch Isaac so he's not out of place and he's with people you know."

Elliot finally got the envelope opened and wrapped his arm around Olivia as she leaned over to read it. "Are you serious?" she asked a little stunned.

"Entirely…next weekend it's just you two in a cabin in the middle of nowhere." Casey smiled.

"No cell phones, pagers, cases or computers." Paul added, "Just you two and a big old bed." He smiled.

"Paul!" Casey smacked his arm.

"Your such a guy Paul." Olivia laughed, "I see why you and Elliot are becoming friends now."

"I don't know about this guys." Elliot said rubbing the back of his neck. "A weekend is a long time."

Olivia arched her brows, "Elliot Stabler, I have not had one night where I'm not getting up in the middle of the night to feed Isaac or change Isaac's diaper." She said with a smile, "You are taking me to this cabin next weekend or," She leaned in a whispered softly into his ear, "You'll never have a chance to pro-create with me again."

Elliot's eyes widened at her threat and even though she knew she could never last a week without him he played into her hand, "Looks like we're going on vacation."


	19. Chapter 19 Had Olivia Known

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 19 Had Olivia Known

A/N: I knew I would get killed in the reviews for that pregnancy bit…but I couldn't resist, I think that was a very popular dinner conversation after the announcement. But I promise that's the only one you'll find from here on out…I'm not looking to jump the shark on my own story…what can I say…my fingers and my imagination got the best of me. LOL

And as far as the bowel instead of bowl…I knew it didn't look right…dang it. LOL

"Elliot wake up!" Olivia hollered walking briskly into the room, flipping the lights on, and hearing the moans of her husband.

"Lights." He said groggily trying to cover his eyes with a pillow.

"Wake up!" She told him again climbing on top of his body and straddling his hips so he couldn't roll over and go back to bed.

He exhaled keeping the pillow on his face but resting his hands on her hips taking notice from the feel of the fabric that she was in boy shorts and an "A" shirt. "What time is it?" he asked not sure he wanted to know.

"Five-thirty in the morning." She smiled taking the pillow away to see the mortified look on his face.

"Liv, it's our day off!" he moaned.

"Tell our son that." She smiled leaning over him and kissing him softly, if there was perhaps one thing she loved about Elliot it was that for some odd reason he never had bad breath, which meant she could kiss him whenever she wanted to and that was good to know. Her kiss became more passionate, entirely more in need as she slid her hand up his chest and rested it on his shoulder. She felt him rise under her and she broke the kiss with a smile. "Did you read today's paper?"

"Liv…I was sleeping peacefully," he smiled rubbing himself into her and seeing the dilation in her pupils, "Until you gave me a wake up call."

Olivia restrained the moans that threatened to come up from the back of her throat as she dropped the newspaper on his chest. "The guy is an idiot." She informed him.

Elliot picked up the paper and blinked his eyes to bring it into focus, "Hey gave an Exclusive!" Elliot almost yelled in anger.

"He named every family who has one of those kids." She informed him knowing full well he was angry. She began to feel him decrease beneath her and she pulled the paper slowly away from him casting it to the floor. "Munch and Fin are working on revoking the deal." She smiled trying to reassure him everything was going to be okay.

Feeling the weight of her body against him as she talked to him was arousing and he could feel himself starting to regain his erection. He arched up to her rubbing gently and smiling as she tilted her head to one side, closing her eyes to focus. "Olivia," His whisper was gruff.

She bent and hovered over his face with a smile, "Elliot." She kissed his lips softly.

"I want you." He whispered caressing her back.

"I know you do…" she lowered her gaze.

"But?" he asked her as she slid off of his body lying next to him.

"Don't be upset when I tell you this?" she asked halfway between statement and question.

"What is it?"

"The other night…"

"I'm not upset, I thought we talked about it." He smiled wondering how someone who preached about grace gave none to herself.

"I know your not upset I just…I need to know that my body won't leave you in a lonely experience." She mumbled and was surprised when he covered her frame quickly with his own tucking her safely beneath him.

"Olivia Stabler!" he grinned, "Are you asking me for foreplay?"

Olivia blushed and looked at him a little nervous, "Is that alright?"

Elliot smiled interlacing his fingers with hers and pinning them just above her head as he bent to kiss her, "Foreplay it is."

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Olivia stepped out of the shower and dried quickly careful to listen for Isaac through the monitor. She smiled to herself as she slipped on a pair of pants, and heard Elliot's voice come through the monitor.

"Hey buddy." His voice was entirely happy as she listened to him talk with their son. She pulled a shirt over her body flicking her hair out of the collar as she continued to eavesdrop on the conversation. "Now when Casey gets pregnant," he told their son, "You'll have someone to pal around with." Olivia rolled her eyes, the man was obsessed. She shook her head and dug around in a drawer for a tube of lip gloss, momentarily ignoring the monologue until his next sentence, "You know something Rookie," Elliot's voice came through again with a hint of exhaustion as if he were falling asleep, "We'd be squat without your mom." She smiled and crept out of the bathroom making her way to the nursery.

Olivia grinned seeing Elliot holding Isaac, both fast asleep in the rocking chair. It never failed, every time Elliot sat in the chair he and Isaac were out like lights. She bent and slowly took Isaac away from him and put him down in his crib. She kissed Elliot softly on the lips and whispered, "Elliot, I'm gonna go now."

Elliot's eyes fluttered open slightly as he nodded in agreement and gave her a chaste kiss, "Tell Alex I said hi, and tell Casey to get a move on with the baby."

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"Your late!" Casey and Olivia tag teamed Alex as she sat down.

"Hey," Alex smiled, "You canceled yesterday…I can be late today."

"I was in the middle of an interrogation." Olivia laughed, "What's your excuse?"

Alex blushed through a grin, "I was in the middle of something as well."

"Stop right there." Casey laughed, "I need not know about your sexual encounter."

"So how is Mr. Perfect?" Olivia asked taking a sip of her coffee and frowning, no matter how good the coffee there was, it didn't taste the same as the coffee Elliot made for her.

"Mr. Perfect?" Alex furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Alex," Olivia grinned, "We ran his name…not so much as a fix-it ticket."

Alex laughed, "I knew you would do that." She shook her head, "He's a good man, and I enjoy him."

"Obviously." Casey mumbled through a smile.

"Well what about you and Paul?" Alex questioned her, "I'm sure your sheets are pleading for air."

"Ooh, she nailed you Casey." Olivia arched her brows and took another sip of her Pumpkin Spice knowing she'd probably be puking it up soon.

"Well speaking of being nailed…" Both Casey and Alex eyeballed Olivia, "I'm sure your sheets don't even stay on the bed anymore." Casey smiled.

Olivia smiled into her coffee knowing that Casey was right, she had to change her bed linen more time ins one week than she did in six months before she met Elliot. "Alright, alright, moving on to a different topic." Olivia shook her head and smiled.

"No, I like this topic." Alex teased, "How are you and Elliot?" she asked slightly serious.

Olivia lowered her gaze and stared at the orange coffee in front of her wondering if people realized it look completely un inviting. "What's going on Liv?" Casey asked taking a sip of her straight black coffee, "You two seemed happy last night."

"Oh, guys. We're happy." She assured them rubbing the back of her neck.

"But?" Alex offered adding honey to her tea.

"We're happy…it's just…um, we're not sleeping."

"Oookay?" Casey asked a little confused, "Ease up on the love making and get some rest." She grinned.

"Shut up!" Olivia blushed, "It's not that…it's…we're both having these weird dreams about loosing Isaac and I think it's taking a toll on both of us…it is on me." She finally managed to get it out.

"Olivia," Alex reached across to take her friends hand, "He' s your first baby…it's okay to be scared out of your mind."

"Yeah Olivia," Casey agreed, "I'm sure it's normal." She affirmed her.

"He cries in his sleep." Olivia blurted out and then kicked herself for exposing something like that about her husband.

"Babies do that." Casey smiled.

"I'm talking about Elliot." She said softly, knowing she shouldn't reveal things like that about him but needing to talk to someone.

"Elliot loves you two." Casey assured her, "If he's nervous about something it's gonna show up one way or another, and you know he's not going to willingly just put his worries out for everyone to see."

"He's probably a little overworked as well." Alex assured her, "He's still working at all hours, plus he has a new family, maybe he's adjusting."

"Maybe."

"Does it bother you?" Casey asked.

"No, not at all, I actually like that he needs me even in his sleep, but he's worrying me." She confessed then looked at her watch, "Shoot!"

"What?" Casey and Alex sounded in unison.

"Oh, I'm late." Olivia stood to her feet, "Thanks for meeting with me and letting me ramble guys." She told them as she pushed in her chair, "I trust I have your confidence."

"Absolutely!" Casey reassured her.

"Lips are sealed." Alex assured her, "We love Elliot like a brother and wouldn't do anything to see him hurt or embarrassed, tell him we say hi." Alex smiled.

"Oh yeah," Olivia turned back to them, "Alex, Elliot says hi," she smiled and turned to Casey, "And to you," Olivia shook her head, "He says turn up the heat on the oven." She gave Casey a searching look to make sure she understood. She didn't want to give anything away in front of Alex, she wanted Casey to tell her when she wanted to. " I have to go, I'm promised to be at home for lunch today." She frowned looking at her watch again, "I'm late."

Alex arched her brow as she took notice of Casey's blushing face, "Oven?" she asked her.

Casey closed her eyes smiling and making a mental note to kill Elliot, "Don't ask."

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"I got Italian." Olivia called through the house and got no response. She placed the food on the counter and searched only to find an empty house. She tossed her keys on the counter and peeked out the back door smiling at the scene of perfection she was witnessing.

Elliot sat on the grass with his legs sprawled out sitting Isaac snuggly between his thighs and allowing the two beagles to investigate the young boy. She heard Isaac's tiny laughs as Cracker's wet nose nuzzled him.

"Easy Cracker." Elliot smiled covering Isaac's hand with his own and letting him pet the curious beagle who was entirely sweet with the infant.

Jack turned his head barking at Olivia's presence, "Good guard dog Jack." She smiled venturing out to the back yard. "Sorry I'm late." She apologized sitting next to Elliot and offering a quick peck on his cheek.

"It's alright, we're just out here having big boy fun…normally there's no girls allowed." Elliot informed her, "But because your so beautiful the board took a vote and you can stay." He smiled adjusting their son so they could all three see one another. "I'm glad we have him." He whispered as Olivia leaned her head on Elliot's shoulder.

"Me too." She smiled and stroked her son's hair softly, "He's getting so big. He's gonna be a heart breaker." She chuckled.

"Just like his old man." Elliot grinned.

"Spare me Stabler." She shook her head.

"That's not what you said this morning _Stabler_." He shot back with a smile.

"Elliot!" she slapped his shoulder.

"Hey, you wanted foreplay…your getting foreplay." He smiled kissing gently and then feeling the wet nose of Cracker invading their moment together.

"Alright, we get the hint." Olivia laughed.

"Liv, you excited about the cabin?" Elliot asked resting his hand on her thigh.

"Oh, yeah, you …me…big old bed…definitely excited." She grinned, "Now let's eat."

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Olivia blinked trying to bring the angry numbers of the alarm clock into focus. She took note that it was a little after two in the morning and Elliot was nowhere in the room. She forced herself to get out of bed taking note that Isaac hadn't woken her for his feeding, that or she slept through it and Elliot was tending to him. She padded quietly to the nursery and saw an all to familiar site.

Elliot sat in his boxers starring blankly at Isaac's crib clutching a tiny stuffed animal that Cragen had sent over for Isaac. It was becoming a common site seeing Elliot sitting defeated in his son's room. As much as they talked about the dreams, as much as they tried to find the reason behind them he couldn't shake them. It was a painful cycle to see him in, having the dream, talking about it, the dreams stopped for a week and returned for two. She hated what it did to him, what they did to her. She walked to him softly, "El?"

No response.

"Elliot." She whispered again kneeling in front of him and feeling the coldness of his body as she rested her hands on his naked thighs. "Your freezing honey."

Elliot licked his lips and bit his top lip, "Nightmare."

"I know." She whispered raising herself slightly and kissing his forehead, "I know."

"Its bothering me." He whispered.

"I know." She was a little surprised that he was so willing to talk. She searched his tired face and noticed that his frame looked like he was starting to loose weight again. "You didn't really eat your dinner today." She informed him.

"Didn't feel well." He lowered his head resting his forehead against hers.

"Are you telling me my cooking is bad?" She smiled hoping to pull him out of his funk and pull him back into bed.

"Never." He offered a weak smile back to her, "Lunch was good…but the closer I got to sleep…I guess I got nervous." He shrugged his shoulders not exactly sure what was wrong with himself.

"Come to bed." She smiled extending her hand to him and retreating quietly back to their room with one another slipping into the warmth of their bed she felt him shudder trying to warm himself.

"Come here." She instructed him as she nuzzled her body against him resting her head on his chest and draping the warmth of her legs over the coolness of his. "You want to tell me what happened?" she asked tracing her fingers along his abdomen noting that he had indeed lost weight. She scolded herself mentally for not noticing it prior.

"They won't leave me alone." He told her clenching his jaw in a mixture of frustration and exhaustion.

"Who?"

"The nightmares…they're getting worse…more graphic." He whispered holding her tighter, almost too tight.

"Honey," she whispered breaking his hold just slightly, "I'm right here…not going anywhere." She reminded him allowing him to embrace her, but needing to be able to draw a breath at the same time, "What do you mean they're getting worse?"

Elliot exhaled and she swore she heard his heart rate increase steadily as he gained his thoughts, "When they first started…there was no detail…now I see Isaac's blood…you're blood." He whispered choking back emotion.

"My blood?" she asked furrowing her brows and looking up at him, "Did you have a dream that you hurt me Elliot?"

He grabbed her waist tighter causing her to wince as he was barely able to get his words out, "Please don't leave."

"Your hurting me." She whispered calmly.

He instantly release, "I'm sorry Liv…I'm so sorry."

"Shhh," She smiled compassionately, "I just need to be able to breath." She traced his lips softly with her index finger; "You could never hurt me on purpose Elliot." She kissed his lips tenderly and was a little taken back feeling his body shudder, not out of coldness, or passion…but fear.

"We're going on vacation in two days…maybe we need it more than we know?" she offered him a small ray of happiness as she returned her head to his chest knowing it would be another long night for him.

Elliot kissed the crown of her head and whispered back, "Maybe."

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"What's with the suits?" Olivia asked walking into the bullpen and eyeing the men in suits that declared they were lawyers.

"Well, seems victims are suing the couples that bought the children." Elliot offered.

"Oh no." She closed her eyes watching as the angry couples argued with one another as to the paternity of the children that Aaron and Gina had kidnapped. "What a mess…and no one is gonna win."

"Nope, that' s lose lose." Elliot told her. "You going home to pack for this weekend?"

"Yeah, unless Cragen lets me stay." She smiled.

"Nope!" Cragen smiled from behind her, "Department says your on bankers hours until Isaac is one…he's not one…go home." He smiled as she rolled her eyes and picked up her bag. She tiptoed up to Elliot's ear and whispered, "Have fun with the lawyers."

"Your cruel!" he shot back as she walked away.

She smiled over her shoulder "I know."

Olivia negotiated the stairs of the precinct with agility but stopped when she heard her voice, "Alex!" she smiled, "What brings you here?" she asked out of curiosity.

"Well," She said adjusting her work bag on her shoulder, "I'm doing a unit on safety with my kindergartners and I was gonna try and get a rookie to come and talk to the class."

"Oh, get Tanner, he's great with kids." Olivia smiled, "Hey, Elliot and I are going out of town this weekend but next weekend why don't you bring your mystery guy over…we'd like to meet him." Olivia was going to laugh but was suddenly shoved by a man who rudely walked between them. "Got to love the city." She said furrowing her brows, as he took off, unseen to them both.

"Check your pockets, you got everything?" Olivia asked as she checked her own. She smiled once she knew she had all her belongings. "Anyway, we'd like to meet him next week if you're up for it."

"Meet him?" Alex smiled, "Don't you mean interrogate him?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, "Semantics."

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Olivia laid Isaac in his playpen and clipped the monitor to her waist as she retreated to the bedroom to change the bed linen and start packing for their weekend out of the city. She found herself smiling at the fact that Paul seemed to soften Casey's once cold personality and she seemed to balance a certain unidentified angst within him. She counted herself lucky to have them in her life as she tossed the pillows back onto the bed and gave one last tug on the comforter.

Olivia had finished packing her bag and was starting to zip Elliot's up when she realized she'd almost forgot his Bible. She smiled knowing that recently he had been reading it more and he would have killed her if she'd forgotten to pack it. She let her eyes roam about the room trying to locate it, knowing he never put it in the same spot. After deciding it was nowhere in plain sight she took a look under the bed where she'd found it for him the last time and then stopped when she saw the night stand. She opened the top drawer and pulled it out. _The one time he puts it where it's supposed to go_. She smiled to herself. While Olivia would normally consider his things off limits for browsing she wondered what exactly a man like Elliot wrote when she would observe him writing frantically in his bible…she didn't even know you were allowed to do that.

Olivia opened it slowly amazed at the notes that were scribbled into the margins; he underlined frequently and seemed to have a fondness for the Psalms. She wasn't exactly sure what that was but the pages in that section were dog eared and threatening to fall out of the binding. She flipped through until a picture caused the book to separate. She smiled retrieving it and noticing that it was a snap shot of them together at the first Christmas Ball she had attended since being in SVU. She flipped the photo over trying to remember the date and almost laughed out loud, at what he'd written. _God, I want this one as my wife_. "Such a softie". She laughed.

"Who is?" Elliot's voice startled her causing her to jump.

"You just scared the crap out of me Elliot!" she blushed then held the picture up, "You still have this."

Elliot smiled, "Couldn't let it go." He pulled her close to him, "Snooping in my things Mrs. Stabler."

"I was packing." She protested, "Okay, I got curious." She gave in. "I'm sorry."

"Doesn't bother me." He chuckled taking the book from her and laying it on top of his bag as he started to kiss her softly.

"Someone is anxious." She smiled exposing her neck to the caress of his lips.

"You asked for foreplay," he whispered backing her to the bed until she was forced to lie down while her calves hung off the bed, "I'm just fulfilling your request Ma'am." He smiled unbuttoning the top button of her blouse and kissing the skin just above her bra line hearing a gentle moan escape her.

"You're a good man Stabler." She smiled feeling him rub against her, "A good man."

Elliot was about to take things a little further when it dawned on him he hadn't heard the dogs announce his arrival and that was why he was able to sneak up on her. "Where's CrackerJack?" he said out of the blue stopping in the middle of their fun.

Olivia furrowed her brows, "You're asking about the dogs right _now_?"

"Did they bark when I came home?" He asked giving her a blank kiss on her mouth but still refusing to uncover her body.

Olivia looked past him, thinking about his question, "No actually I don't think they did." She said suddenly realizing what Elliot was implying, "You think something's wrong? Maybe they're asleep."

"Yeah right, they don't sleep until their batteries are completely drained." He smiled weakly.

Olivia gave him a quick kiss, "Go check." She shook her head, and smiled, "I'll finish packing." Elliot wandered off as Olivia grabbed two sweaters from the closet knowing it may get a little nippy. She picked up the duffels and placed them by the front door only to turn and see a very stunned Elliot standing in the kitchen, the back door wide open with no sign of CrackerJack.

"Elliot?" she called as she walked to him, "What's wrong, where are the dogs?" When Elliot's eyes misted she felt her own heart sink, "What's wrong Elliot?"

Elliot could barely manage to break it to her, his voice was gruff entirely shocked, "They're…dead."

"What!" she shrieked, "They were fine this morning!" she walked past him wanting his words to be a joke but when he pulled her away from the door, she new it wasn't.

"Don't…its bad." He whispered, "I think they got sick, there's vomit everywhere." He told her softly.

Olivia surprised herself when she felt a lump in her throat over an animal, "They can't be dead El."

"I'm sorry Liv."

Olivia shook her head, "We have to do something." She whispered, "We can't just leave them out there…it's not right."

"I'll get the shovel, we'll need some sheets." He said softly as he went to the back yard and retrieved a flashlight from the deck and a shovel from the shed.

They both decided on a corner of the yard where the two beagles use to lounge around, Elliot dug the holes in silence as Olivia slipped off the little collars of the dogs and wrapped their bodies snuggly in the sheets. As Elliot toppled cold dirt onto the once bouncing beagles Olivia returned silently to the deck to hose off the mess that was made. She was surprised to feel a tear fall as she thought of what could have possibly happened to the duo that made her smile so much. She turned the water off just as Elliot returned from his morbid task.

"What do you think happened?" She asked softly as they entered the house.

"I don't know," He shook his head, "Maybe they were sick and we didn't catch it." He kissed her forehead and gave her an embrace, "I don't know Liv."

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Elliot allowed his eyes to flutter open knowing he and his wife would be leaving town shortly on a vacation that, after last night, they both definitely needed. He kissed her sleeping lips gently at first until she stirred and then much more intensely.

"Elli-"

He saw opportunity with her parted lips and pounced on it searching every corner of her mouth for something he wasn't sure would be there but searched for anyway. She wrapped her hands around his neck and deepened the kiss as she tangled one of her legs with his. He finally separated from her mouth with a smile, "Good morning."

Olivia grinned, "Who needs an alarm clock when they've got that?"

He kissed her forehead softly, "You sleep okay?"

"Not really," She confessed looking over to the dog bed that would have normally had CrackerJack sleeping there, "I miss them already." She exhaled.

"So do I." He kissed her softly, "I don't understand what happened to them."

"Me neither but, we can't let this ruin the weekend…we need this Elliot." She said squeezing his hand.

He pulled her waist against his and kissed her again, "We need to get started Casey and Paul are gonna be here in an hour."

Olivia rolled and sat up stepping out of the bed, "I'll get Isaac while you shower." She offered.

"Sounds like a deal." He crawled across the bed and stood behind her embracing her, "Of course, you could let Isaac sleep and join me in the shower."

Olivia turned to him rubbing her hips into his and taking notice that he was already excited and they hadn't been talking to one another for more than five minutes. "Or," she smiled at him rubbing into him, and then whispering, "I could go feed Isaac." She winked before walking away.

"Messed up Liv." He exhaled.

She called back as she entered the hallway, "You love me."

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"Hey guys!" Olivia smiled opening the door to Casey and Paul.

"Sorry were late." Casey smiled, "Genius here couldn't find the keys." She nudge him in the side.

"Then I forgot my wallet." He laughed, "We have zero cash on us," he smiled at Olivia who could just imagine the two of them scurrying around they're house looking for this and that.

"Well," Olivia offered them an understanding smile, "We'll leave Isaac's car seat if you need to go back to your place or you want to go out."

"Liv." Elliot called from the living room, "Can you take him please?"

She picked up her sleeping son from Elliot's arms as he tied his shoes. "I'll put him down." She told Casey, "He'll probably wake up in an hour." She said as she continued briefing her as they went into the nursery. Olivia laid him gently in his crib giving him a single kiss and draped the comforter over his tiny frame, "We stocked up on diapers…be careful when you change him…he gets carried away, if you catch my drift."

"Ah, the joys of a boy." Casey laughed.

"All important numbers are on the refrigerator, his medical card is on the counter and the poison-"

"Liv?"

"What?"

"Your freaking out."

"I know."

"Why?"

"I haven't been away from him." She smiled. Had Olivia known it would be the last time she would lay her son down, she would have given him an extra kiss and tucked him in just a little tighter.

"Liv…go…have fun!" Casey said ushering her out of the nursery.

"Elliot your wife is here!" Paul said as Olivia walked back into the living room, "Which means you two got to go!" he laughed and then looked around, "Hey, where's your dogs?"

Elliot exhaled, "They got sick."

"They didn't make it." Olivia said bluntly not wanting to deal with it anymore. There was too much. She would deal with it when they got back but this weekend was just him and her.

"I'm sorry." Casey said softly, "I know you two loved those guys."

"Hey, were gonna have fun this weekend." Elliot said picking up a bag, "No, more sad stories. We'll see you guys." Elliot offered as they walked out.

"Bye, have fun!" Paul called from the porch, "Come back pregnant!"

"Paul!" Casey shook her head.

Elliot couldn't resist he stopped and turned, "Same to you two."

Olivia shook her head feeling for Casey what she knew she must have felt for her. Paul and Elliot seemed to have only one thing in mind and that was reproducing as much as possible. _Cocky_. Olivia laughed closing the car door of the mustang.

"Ready?" Elliot smiled sliding into the driver's seat.

"Oh, yeah." She grinned.

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"I can't believe your balancing the checkbook Liv." Elliot smiled downshifting into a curve, "I'd be vomiting in these mountains."

"I don't get car sick and it needs to be balanced…seems it's off by four hundred _again_." She raised an eyebrow, "But you wouldn't know anything about that right?" she smiled, "Is Munch okay?"

"He's having a rough spot." He said being as vague as possible.

"You would tell me if something were very wrong wouldn't you?" She squeezed his hand.

"Absolutely, but for now, he asked that I not say anything." He reiterated.

"Okay…but for crying out loud can you put it in the check book next time." She shook her head recalculating as she felt the car slow.

"I think we're here." Elliot said down shifting and pulling the car alongside the cabin.

"Wow, this place is amazing." Olivia smiled stepping out of the car and placing her sunglasses on top of her head.

"Yeah, they really must like us." Elliot smiled pulling the duffel bags out of the trunk and closing it. He placed both bags in one hand and took hers into his free hand leading her to the cabin.

After searching through his pockets for the key Elliot managed to get the door open and placed the duffel bags along the wall. "Holy crap!" Elliot blurted as he looked around the cabin taking note of it's modern interior…and big old bed, "They really do like us." He joked.

"Wow, this place is…wow!" she marveled at the accommodations noticing a pamphlet on the bed. She picked it up, "Elliot can we please do this?" she turned to show him the pamphlet.

"What is it?" He looked at it, "Kayaking? You sure about that? I saw a jacuzzi through the window." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Kayaking…and then if you're a good boy…" She didn't finish knowing he knew she was starting to crave him from all of the foreplay.

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Elliot and Olivia found themselves in the middle of an oddly calm river in a very unstable kayak.

"Who's idea was this again?" Olivia asked trying to stabilize the fiberglass deathtrap.

"Oh, definitely yours Liv." He smiled from behind her. He had never really seen her unsure about a physical activity but he knew she was a little nervous about tipping. "How has Alex been doing?" he asked trying to get her mind off of capsizing.

"Really good actually, I think she's gonna marry Mr. School Teacher." She said finally getting into the grove of paddling.

"They're talking marriage?" He asked wondering if she knew he was grinning.

"Stop Grinning Elliot, I said I think she is…she hasn't told me anything but we're meeting him next week."

"Really?"

"Yep, I couldn't resist anymore." She laughed, "I'm starting to get as bad as you."

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked rocking the vessel just enough to startle her.

"Hey keep that up and see what happens."

"This is me shaking in my boat Liv." He joked and laughed at his use of words as he tickeled her from behind.

"Stop or your gonna get it Stabler." She laughed as he continued.

"So not scared of you Liv." He teased and then was suddenly taken off guard when she leaned all the way over to one side and then to the next effortlessly capsizing both of them.

They wormed they're way out of the kyak quickly surfacing at the same time, "You are dead." He laughed taking two strokes over to her and dunking her down into the water. She resurfaced laughing hysterically at his childish antics. "You trying to drown me?"

"Maybe." He grinned and then inhaled water as she pushed him under the water. Except, Elliot didn't resurface when she let him go. She looked around the water looking for air bubbles.

"Elliot?" she called out. "Elliot!" She grew more frantic and then gasped feeling herself being pulled under. She opened her eyes immediately out of nervousness and then smiled seeing Elliot starring back at her, his blue eyes more intense under the water. He let the current bring the two of them together and kissed her, careful not to breathe as they closed their eyes enjoying a completely different sensation. When his lungs were about to explode he separated from her and took her by the hand swimming back to resurface.

Panting and completely out of breath he still insisted on teasing her, "That'll teach you to try and drown me."

"Or encourage me." She smiled wrapping her legs around him as he treaded water.

"You feeling better?" he asked her.

"I'm relaxed, what about you?" she asked him tracing his hairline.

"I'm having fun being here with my wife."

"You know what?" She beamed, "I like when you call me your wife."

Elliot kissed her lips with his own and took her bottom one into his mouth sucking gently as he ran his hands over her naked midriff making a mental note to thank the creator of bikini's, especially the red one she was wearing.

Elliot felt her jerk away, "What? Did that hurt?"

"No? But that's going to…financially." She said pointing to a small spec in the distance that was they're kayak.

"Oh, no." Elliot laughed, "Didn't the map say there were rapids around here?"

"How much do you think one of those costs." She smiled loosing her legs form around his waist.

"Enough." He chuckled,

"I think if we start swimming now we can get to shore before the shop closes." She said running a hand through her wet hair.

As they started their swim Elliot decided to play with her just a bit more, "This is all your fault you know that right?" he smiled.

"My fault?" she stopped swimming, "How'd you come up with that flawed idea?"

"We'll…if you hadn't of tipped us…we'd still be kayaking." He replied with a grin.

"Ah, and if you hadn't tried to drown me…we could have gotten back into said kayak." She smiled in victory and allowed the current to help her onto his back, "Start swimming sucker."

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"Two-hundred and forty nine dollars!" Elliot told her the price of the lost kayak holding back a chuckle.

"Don't forget the sixty-three cents." She smiled taking his hand as they walked their still damp bodies back to the cabin.

"You think Isaac is okay?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, Paul and Casey seem like they can handle a seven-month old." She wrapped her hand around his waist, "You're loosing weight." She whispered as they walked.

"Na…just trying to tame my figure." He kissed her head softly.

"That's such bull." She laughed then became slightly more serious, "You'll talk to me when you're stressed out?"

"I'll try." He offered seriously then grinned.

"What's the grin for?" she asked following his line of sight to see it trained on the cabin.

"You said if I was good…" he raised his brows.

"You call trying to drown me good?" she asked as they stepped into the cabin.

"I call it…foreplay." He smiled taking her close to his body and kissing her, "Up for a dip in the Jacuzzi?" he asked her hugging her from behind and forcing her to walk out the door to the Jacuzzi.

"Wow, I guess they just keep it on." She smiled feeling him behind her.

"Good for us." He laughed helping her into the steaming water. She lowered herself gently waiting for her body to acclimate to the warmth. Elliot on the other hand slipped in easily behind her and brought her down onto his lap. "Sometimes you have to just do it." He kissed her back between her shoulder blades and followed her spine up to her neck. "Are you aware of what you do to me?"

"I have my suspicions." She smiled turning in his lap to face him.

"And what might they be Olivia?" he whispered kissing her neck as if it were the sanctity of her mouth.

She laughed taking in a breath, "Um…I know when I walk into the room you're eyes spark and you get that dorky grin on your face."

"Dorky?" He pretended to be hurt.

"Maybe I think dorky is sexy." She smiled kissing him gently along his neck and suddenly stopping feeling his hand graze her inner thigh and make it's way to the string that held her bikini bottom on. "Elliot." She froze.

"What?" he furrowed his brows in concern.

"Someone could see us."

He laughed bringing her closer, "We're in the middle of no where Olivia."

"I don't want to be naked outside." She blushed.

"Who said you had to be naked?" he smiled pulling her hips down into him, "No more foreplay Olivia, I want to make you loose control." He whispered arching himself higher into her.

"I can't. What if som-"

"Shhh," he smiled at her nervousness, and took her lips into his as he invaded her mouth with a gentleness that surprised her. "I missed you Olivia."

She buried her hips deeper into him, "I just need to know that I can."

"You can." He assured her running his thumb across her breast smiling as she closed her eyes. He thought it odd that a woman of her beauty could doubt herself in the area of making love so much.

She rubbed against him feeling the strength of him in return. She felt the pressure build in her body as his breath crashed against her neck. "Cum with me Elliot."

"No…just you." He kissed her breast just above the fabric of the bathing suit smiling at her whimper as he slid his hand into her bikini bottom grazing her with a finger. She arched her back pressing her hips deeper into his hand as he moved faster.

She braced herself against his chest whimpering more at the increase in pressure, "Close. Come with me." She asked him again.

"No." he took her nipple into his mouth through the confines of the fabric and that was all it took to send her over the edge in his arms. She whimpered through her breath trying to bring her body down to some since of normalcy.

"I told you, you could." He whispered kissing her softly on the mouth.

"Take me inside Elliot?" She asked him anxious to feel him move within her.

"Seems someone has their confidence back." He teased her helping her stand on her shaky legs and leading him back into the cabin.

They stood face to face wanting one another.

"I need to feel you Elliot." She said taking a step forward and feeling the effect their previous encounter already had on him. She wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him, wanting to devour him with a tenderness that she knew only he would accept coming from her.

He regained control of the kiss pushing her tongue away and sliding into her mouth with a seductive ease that caused her breast to rise in a fraction of a second. He ran his hands along her ribs taking note of the small scars she bore from her attack and the one that voided out the scar that haunted her. He ran his hand over the scar that bore his son and felt an overwhelming desire to have her.

Moving still lower Elliot pulled the strings on either side of her suit and unleashed his wife's exotic frame allowing the cloth to fall to the ground. "Impeccable body." He whispered walking her back to the bed and allowing her to sit. He kissed her forehead moving to the tip of her nose, bypassing her lips and kissing her chin. He leaned into her and pushed her softly down on her back letting the coolness of her bikini top crash against his chest. He rubbed against her wanting to be inside of her, wanting to feel her body caress his.

Olivia shifted her weight and kissed him softly on the mouth licking and kissing, as she journeyed down his body. She stopped to take in his nipple hearing him hiss she bit and then sucked the tender areas. "Take these off." She smiled pulling the trunks over his body releasing himself from the cool wet cloth that had taken its toll on his erection.

Olivia smiled hovering over his body to warm his lower half. Feeling him start to rise again, she moved further down kneeling on the ground and kissed his length gently on the tip. She grinned at him licking her lips and taking him into her mouth. She moved about him tenderly feeling him fill her mouth as she sucked softly at first then harder hearing him grown and wrap his legs around her kneeling body. She stretched her arms up his chest and raked her nails down as she drug her teeth lightly against his shaft, "Liv…" he panted, "No more…or I can't." she stopped and smiled victoriously that she had brought him completely erect in a manner of a minute.

Olivia crawled up his body feeling his erection divide her completely down the center of her body as she hovered over him, "How was that?" she smiled and then laughed as he rolled her onto her back and took her to the top of the bed.

"Hopefully as good as this." He smiled biting softly on her bottom lip while he pulled her into a sitting position. "I want this off…its cold." He said kissing the top of her breast as he pulled the string behind her neck releasing the most perfect breast he'd ever seen. He cast the wet garment to the side of the room and laid her gently back down.

"I'm cold." She whispered.

He smiled and lowered his lips to her ear, "I'm going to make you forget the cold." Elliot moved down her body raising on leg into a bent position to open her up to him. He kissed her belly button softly and moved further still as he let his fingertips glide over her hips. He kissed her opening gently watching her breathing escalate. He flicked his tongue over her and moved slowly through her softness smiling as her hips rose off the bed. He held her firmly in order to keep her body steady.

Elliot plunged his tongue into his wife listening to her whimpers turn into groans that he knew he was causing. He withdrew his mouth from her smiling at her whimpers of protest, "Please…" she stopped mid sentence unable to finish her thought.

Elliot moved to her leg kissing it as he moved along its length, over the bend on the knee and up her thigh causing her to shudder at the gentle sensation. He brought his face to hers kissing her. He thought he would cum right on top of her when he felt her run her tongue over his teeth as if searching for her own remnants. He moaned into her feeling her erect nipples against his chest.

Elliot slid his hands down her body and gently inserted a finger into her. She smiled feeling him move within her and then inset another searching for that spot that would make her surrender control in a heartbeat, she moaned bending her legs and digging into the mattress.

"Found it." He smiled moving gently within her feeling her muscles begin to quiver. He moved faster knowing she was on the brink of surrendering to him completely, he grazed his thumb over her swollen tenderness and her body contracted bringing her into a sitting position as she grabbed for him whimpering as he continued to move within her. She wrapped her arms around his neck embracing him as the orgasm flooded her senses.

She held him tightly as he lowered her back to the softness of the bed as if trying to give him her burdens and accept the ones that weighed him down, as if trying to somehow be inside of _him_.

"Do you need to rest?" he whispered trying to break the embrace she had around his neck and giving up when she held him tighter refusing to let go.

"No…I need you." She whispered into his ear, "I need you inside of me."

Elliot could sense a frustration in her a fear that made her have to have him as close to her as physically possible. "Let me go," he whispered against her mouth kissing her, "I can't move." She softened her grip allowing him to move down her body. He kissed her lips positioning himself at her opening.

"Look at me." She held his face in her hands starring directly at him as he entered her body. She kept her gaze on him as she arched her body in acceptance of him, "Thank you." She whispered kissing him as he stilled his body within her essentially torturing her. "Please…move." She bucked against him, "I need to feel you." She told him again.

"Wait." He smiled.

Olivia rolled on top of him quickly, "I can't." she whispered lacing her hands in his as she rode over him using his hands for leverage as they pushed against one another. Feeling him grip her hands tighter and hearing his own moans, she whispered, "I need you to come with me."

Elliot sat up and lowered her to her back ignoring her protests of position. He increased his speed feeling her silky walls glide over him as he meshed every inch of his body into hers. She took her hands into his forcing him to hold them above her head as if pleading for him to make her submit. He held her firmly and moved his hips in tiny circles before suddenly going in the opposite direction. The sudden shift in direction making her moan in his ear.

"I'm close Olivia."

"More." She begged him, "Deeper." She specified.

Elliot let go of her hands and grabbed for the slats in the headboard as she wrapped her legs around his body digging into him to increase the pleasure of his invasion, "I want you Liv."

"Take me." She offered feeling him touch her womb; she whimpered at the sudden contact, moaned at the pleasure and screamed out feeling him pulsate within her. Elliot pushed harder using the headboard to pull him into her body, causing her more pleasure than she could stand until he came just as loud and hard as she had. He stayed within her as long as he could until he was forced to roll off of her.

"Look at me." He said out of breath.

Olivia turned and smiled, "Thank you, that was…I can' t think of a word." She laughed nuzzling into his chest and tangling her legs with him. "Thank you for holding me." She whispered exhausted.

"We're you frustrated today Liv?" He smiled at the flurry of emotions he got from her; the fear, frustration, aggression and submission were usually something she kept in check.

"A little." She confessed with a small chuckle, " But I think you remedied the situation."

Elliot grazed her abdomen tracing the small scars, "First time I've seen you in a bikini…never thought I would." He kissed her head knowing she must have debated for days to wear one.

"The way you treat me…makes me forget they're there." She yawned tracing the contours of his muscles. "Elliot?"

"Yeah?" he responded almost asleep.

"Phenomenal."

"Excuse me?"

"Phenomenal… I thought of a word."


	20. Chapter 20 He's Gone

When I Lay Our Baby Down

Chapter 20: He's Gone

It was the nightmare that woke Elliot up but it was the cold that kept him awake. He turned to find that Olivia had stolen the comforter from his body. He smiled seeing her sleep almost sprawled eagle with the comforter covering her frame in its entirety. He took note of the smile on her sleeping face and slid his hand under the sheet to her body.

He pulled her body to him and whispered, "Olivia."

"Hmm?" she responded sleepily.

"Are you asleep?" He laughed knowing she was, but unable to resist asking such an obvious question.

"For a grade one detective your not too observant." She teased him then grew a little concerned as to why he was up in the middle of the night. "Are you okay?" she asked feeling his body shake.

"Don't be upset." He warned her.

"What's wrong?" She turned quickly to face him.

Elliot smiled knowing he'd pushed her panic button…on purpose, "I'm cold."

"Elliot Stabler!" she pushed at his chest smiling at his humor but seeing his stress.

"Olivia Stabler!" he mocked her as he grabbed her waist and pulled her flush against his body, "You're a cover hog." He smiled kissing her softly and feeling the sensation of her warm leg sliding against the coolness of his, effectively warming him while she embraced him. She spread the comforter out over his chilled body as he separated his lips from hers, she found herself shocked to see that his eyes misted over.

"What is it?" she asked searching his eyes and not understanding exactly why she sensed shame, or perhaps it was that familiar fear radiating from his body, "Why did you wake up Elliot?"

"I was cold." He whispered.

"Why else?" she pressed him knowing he was stalling.

Elliot exhaled holding her tighter, "I…I-"

"Nightmare?"

"We divorced." He whispered bluntly.

Olivia exhaled, "You know what I noticed?" she asked gently.

"Tell me." He tucked her hair behind her ear to see the pale light cascade over her face.

"When you and I make love…when we connect…I mean really connect, you have these nightmares." She kissed his lips softly, "Your scared…why?"

"I don't know." He furrowed his brows remembering what it felt like in the dream to know that they had separated.

"Yes you do, tell me…why are you waiting for everything to fall down around us? We're happy…aren't we?"

Elliot noticed the concern in her eyes and felt his stomach cringe knowing he had caused her to doubt the happiness she wanted all her life and finally had. He moved closer to her and kissed her passionately inhaling as he felt her naked breast against his chest, he needed to let her know that he desired her, wanted her at every waking moment of his existence. He parted his lips from hers hearing her whimper as he left the warmth of her mouth, "You make me the happiest person…I'm so blessed to have you in my life."

"Then why are you scared we're not gonna make it?" she asked him feeling the heat of her tears rise just thinking about not being with him.

"These nightmares," he shook his head, "They…they don't stop and I don't know why I'm having them, but I always feel like something is wrong."

"Can I tell you a secret?" she kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Tell me."

"I've felt like something was wrong for a long time…but even with all the stuff we've been through," she traced his lips gently, "I've never doubted that we would make it."

"I don't know why I have you." He managed to croak, "I don't deserve you."

Olivia shifted her body and straddled his with her knees on either side of him. She smiled seeing him close his eyes as their pelvises engaged one another. She leaned her body letting her breast mesh with his chest as she whispered to him, "You deserve me." She kissed his cheek softly and lowered her lips to the opposite ear, "I deserve you." She told him making her way to his lips and kissing him gently, "We deserve our son."

Elliot knew she was right, and while he didn't doubt their marriage he had the most intense feeling something was looming in the darkness. He was surprised to see the shift in their relationship. Only a year ago he was the strength for both of them. Now, it seemed, he had to draw from her to make it through. He exhaled "Liv, I'm sor-"

"Shhh." She kissed his mouth softly and whispered, "No more Elliot. I'm gonna tell you one last time, then never again…I'll never leave you."

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Elliot woke the next morning to feel his body somewhat exhausted from their previous encounter, lack of sleep, stress and anything else he could list. He reached behind his body to touch Olivia and found only empty space. Looking at the clock he was surprised that he'd actually slept past ten, but knowing this would be the last day of their time together he wanted to spend as much of it with his wife as possible. He rolled quickly out of bed forcing himself into a cold shower to wake him and then shivering as he dressed himself in a T-shirt and cargo shorts.

Elliot smiled at the note on the kitchen counter, "Sleepy Head: Coffee is ready, I'm outside. Love you more than you know, 'L'. "

Elliot poured a cup for her and then one for himself and walked outside expecting to see Olivia lounging around in a chair but surprised to see her working out with an intensity that only she could possess. He watched quietly from the doorframe knowing that one of the sexiest things he'd seen was Olivia perfecting a martial arts form. Her focus, determination, and something as raw as her sweat caused him to raise his brows, always surprised at the way her body moved. The accuracy of her technique was mind bending and he certainly didn't forget about her ability to do the splits.

At the end of her work out she placed her ankles together and bent straight down to her toes stretching so her body didn't cramp form an abrupt stop. Elliot smiled at the perfection of her body and stood right behind her pulling her gently up by the black fabric belt that held her canvas pants on her waist, "Looks like _you_ lost weight." He whispered giving a little tug to the pants that threatened to fall if the belt weren't there.

"I toned up a bit since I bought these." She smiled feeling him embrace her body and handed her a warm cup of coffee. She accepted it gratefully and turned to face him, "Did you enjoy the show?" She asked taking a sip of the coffee to hide her devious smile.

"No matter how many times I see you do it…I always love it." He chuckled pulling her to him by the belt. "You could probably really kick the crap out of me huh?"

"I thought we already established that…twice?" she laughed as he pretended to have his ego crushed. "You slept along time…feel better?" she asked him running her hands through her hair and frowning at the sweat that had come off on her hand.

"Yeah, I feel good." He released her as they headed back into the cabin.

"Well, I'm glad." She smiled setting her coffee on the counter; "I scoped out a trail this morning…you up for it?"

"Absolutely!" he grinned, "You think you can keep up with me?"

"Oh Elliot," she smiled compassionately and caressed his cheek, "I can keep up with an old man any day of the week."

"Old man!" he was shocked but smiled at her playfulness as he closed the gap between them, pinning her to the counter and rubbing himself into her, "I felt pretty young last night." He whispered causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand on end.

She blushed, "Yeah ya were."

"You're only a year younger than me you know." He smiled seeing her body flush at his contact with her.

"Yeah, don't ever remind me of that again." She laughed into his shoulder, "You like to watch me don't you?"

"Have you seen yourself doing the splits?" He asked her as he waggled his brows, "Very enticing."

"Is that all you think about?" she said shakily as she felt the pressure build within her body as he rubbed slightly faster, slightly harder.

"Nope, sometimes I think about us making love in an interrogation room," he kissed her neck tasting the combination of their previous encounter, her perfume and sweat. "Cragen's desk has come to mind a couple of times…the kitchen…the deck," he slowly tried to untie her belt but she stopped him citing something about it being disrespectful if it touched the ground. He wasn't entirely sure what that meant but decided her midriff and breasts could be just as fun. He grazed her softly, "Pretty much were ever we are." He grinned feeling her body tense, as her breathing grew more erratic.

"Elliot, I'm gonna loose it."

"Congratulations." He teased her and pressed against her one last time feeling her take in a sharp breath as he ran his thumbs over her nipples. He kissed her softly as he rubbed deeper against her body feeling her clutch as his chest and whimper against him as her orgasm washed over her. Her whimpers increased as he caressed her chin with his lips and tongue still rubbing and then gently slowing as her whimpers quieted and he kissed her gently on the mouth finally stopping her glorious agony.

"Little unexpected." She panted kissing him softly, "Now I really have to shower…want to join me?"

"I already took one."

Olivia pouted, "Without me?"

"How was I suppose to know that was going to happen?" he laughed.

"Oh you knew…you set me up." She laughed, "I'll be right back and we can go."

Elliot grinned, "I'm waiting."

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"Do you think they're having fun?" Paul asked Casey as they washed the dinner plates. "Oh yeah." She laughed and dried her hands on a towel to pick up a fussing Isaac from the playpen. When she returned she continued, "If I know Olivia being the jock she probably has that poor man on some hiking trail from hell, and he's probably ready to pass out."

Paul laughed placing the last plate in the strainer and drying his hands, "I don't know…Elliot looks like he's in pretty good shape." He offered his hands as she passed Isaac to him.

"He's all muscle…she's all endurance…you do the math." She smiled.

"Maybe that's why they work well together, she interrogates the suspects to death and when it doesn't work he just beats them." He laughed.

"Ironically-" Casey started to tell him that was usually how it went when she saw his brows furrow and his nose squish up. "What?"

Paul adjusted Isaac in his arms and waved his hand across his nose like a fan, "Oh man! Some one call the white house and tell them we found the WMD's."

"What?" She shook her head not following him until she got her own whiff, "Ugggh, Isaac…that's harsh kid." She held out her hands declining to hold him as Paul tried to pass him back to her, "No way, I'm not changing _that_!" she shook her head, "That's flat out biological warfare." She laughed holding her nose and walking away for Paul to do the dirty deed.

"Ruthless Casey." He called out to her.

She disappeared into the hall calling back to him with a smile, "Sue me."

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"Elliot, there is no way you can be out of breath we have two more miles!" she said watching him bend over to catch his breath.

"Trust…me Liv," he panted, "I'm…out of…. breath."

Olivia teased him, "Well, okay I don't want to give an old man a heart attack, we can rest."

"We really have to talk about this old man you keep referring to…you cheating' on me with a senior citizen?" He asked still trying to catch his breath but smiling.

Olivia threw her head back in free laughter, "No…definitely not…although I may be married to one." She smiled wrapping her arm around his shoulders and kissing his cheek.

"Geez, a couple of gray hairs and I'm wearing a colostomy bag." He snickered.

"Okay," Olivia sounded a little more serious but her face let him know she was still set on teasing him, "I happen to think your gray hairs are sexy…but the colostomy bag has got to go."

"Oh that's it!" he smiled reaching for her as she just eluded him in a full run, "You better hope I don't catch you."

Olivia sprinted faster knowing he would catch her with his much longer legs in a manner of a few seconds. He was surprised to see her stop in the middle of the trail suddenly and it wasn't until he was right on top of her that he noticed she wasn't giving up out of her own willingness but she was starring nervously in front of her frozen with fear.

"What is it Ol-"

"SHHH!" she hissed reaching for him while she stared down at what she only recognized as a snake.

Elliot froze, "Okay, so that's not good."

"Pure genius." She replied in a sarcastic whisper and she thought it odd that in spite of their situation they still desired to have fun with one another.

"Think its poisoness?" he whispered watching it flick its tongue out in their direction.

"Elliot, this is New York…I didn't even know we had snakes." She said a little more nervous than before.

Elliot sensed her fear, although he may have confused it at first for his own as the snake hissed, "You know, if that snake bites me, I'm going to be highly pissed off."

"Elliot," she whispered taking a small step backwards, "If that snake bites you…you'll be in the hospital yelling at me to get you out."

"Liv," he whispered putting his hand on her shoulder and slowly pushing her back again.

"Wha-"

"RUN!" he pushed her harder and spun quickly to run as the snake provided one last hiss before striking quickly into the atmosphere.

Olivia and Elliot sprinted as if chasing a perp then finally slowed, laughing hysterically as they stopped to catch their breath, "That was so dangerous." Elliot smiled.

"That was funny." She grinned mocking him in her best Elliot voice, "If that snake bites me I'm going to be so pissed off." She laughed again before feeling him grab her waist and spin her around taking her gently to the ground, kissing her softly. She smiled looking at him, "I can't believe you just took me down in the dirt."

"Just wanted you to know I might be old but I can still sweep you off your feet." He chuckled and then helped her back to her feet.

"Race you back?" she offered.

"Um…no." he shook his head unwilling to let her damage his ego any more for the day.

"No? Why? You think I'll win you?" she asked playfully knowing full well she could last in endurance but not in the final sprint.

"We'll, I have to be honest with you," he exhaled, "you're pretty fast for an old lady."

"Old!" her eyes widened.

"Yeah," He grinned kissing her cheek and whispering in her ear, "I see your gray hairs too."

Olivia's hands instantly went to her hair, "Where!" She demanded to know.

Elliot took her hands away from her hair and kissed her mouth, "Maybe I think you look sexy with them."

"And maybe you're full of shi-"

Elliot kissed her, not allowing her to void his comment. He slid his tongue into her mouth tasting the Listerine that she used before they left then slowly pulled away. "Let's finish the trail and head back, we need to pack and go home." He smiled seeing her still with her eyes closed. He found it amusing each time she did that…each time she savored him.

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"What time are they due back?" Paul asked looking up form his book as Casey fed Isaac.

"In about three hours, they should be on the road right now." She smiled seeing Isaac had finally crashed. She laid him on the opposite smaller couch and propped a pillow up to ensure he wouldn't roll off. Casey returned laying her head in Paul's lap forcing him to raise his book. When he did so, see mumbled its title out loud, "The Metamorphosis of Chemistry," She smiled, "Sounds painful."

"It's fascinating."

"You're a nerd."

"You're a lawyer."

"Ouch!" She laughed, "Pulling out the big guns are we?" she teased him taking his book and closing it careful to mark his spot before resting it on her thigh. "I like our marriage." She said softly out of the blue.

Paul look at her a little caught off guard by her sudden statement but knew it was positive that she'd said it. "You know what Case?" he responded covering her stomach with his hand, "I like it too."

Casey reached up and pulled him down to her lips kissing him gently then suddenly feeling the kiss increase deeper, more passionately it was charged by all of the things still unsaid between the two, by all of the things felt but never stated. As he slid his hand along the naked flesh of her abdomen under her shirt, she smiled and pushed him away gently, "I'm gonna put Isaac in his crib…we have a couple of hours." She smiled as he kissed her again.

"You know what?" Paul took his book and placed it on the coffee table, "I will, I have to go to the restroom anyway." He smiled taking the tiny body in his arms and disappearing as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Casey kissed him chastely on the cheek, "Did you order dinner or something?" she asked him looking at her watch wondering who would be there so late in the evening.

"No…maybe it's a neighbor?" Paul offered before disappearing into the nursery.

Casey shrugged her shoulder, and walked to the door, "Who is it?" she asked looking through the peephole to see what she made out to be a badge.

"Police open up!" Came a muffled voice.

"Oh, funny Stabler!" she laughed opening the door to see a figure that wasn't Elliot, or Olivia…or a cop.

She tried quickly to close the door but the figure dressed in black with a ski mask stepped in shoving the butt of a baseball bat into her abdomen causing her to moan as she dropped to the floor. With out so much as a word the figure walked past her then stopped when it heard Casey struggling to her feet.

She tried to yell but without the air in her lungs only a gruff whisper came, "Paul!" she struggled and then purposefully knocked over the flower vase by the door to create some sort of noise.

"Casey? You okay?" She heard Paul's voice from the hallway but before she could say anything the figure kicked her in her stomach causing her to bend over in pain as she felt the baseball bat come across her back in the most brutal pain she'd ever felt. She dropped immediately to the ground moaning in pain before the figures boot collided with the side of her head knocking her out.

The figure leaned against the wall lying in wait for his next victim. Paul walked cautiously down the hall not exactly knowing why but knowing the house was entirely too quiet for some one having just came to the door. Just as Paul came to the corner where he saw Casey's bare foot lying motionless on the ground he heard a creak in the floorboard as the figure jumped out in front of him. He took an immediate step back hitting the wall as the bat swung inched from his face.

Taking advantage of the situation Paul chambered his fist swinging first with the left then the right connecting with both. The figure stumbled back falling to the ground.

"Casey!" Paul yelled as he kneeled next to her seeing the blood coming from the side of her head. As he attempted to lift her head he saw the figure coming at him again bat raised high ready to strike. He moved quickly darting out of the way striking to the figures solar plexus as he moved.

_Isaac!_ He thought to himself and took another look at Casey who still hadn't moved. Paul turned to leave but collapsed feeling the bat collide painfully against the side of his knee dropping him instantly to the floor as he cried out in agony. Paul watched as the figure moved through the house stopping at the nursery and then walking slowly inside.

Paul used the wall to stand painfully to his feet as the figure walked toward him with a baseball bat in one hand, a diaper bag over his shoulder…and a crying Isaac in his other hand. Paul looked frantically for anything he could use as a weapon and found nothing.

"Put him down!" Paul barked angrily and was surprised to see the figure walk toward him, bat in front of his body, and gently place Isaac in the car seat. Paul knew he was in trouble when the figure slowly stood back up and then suddenly pounced thrusting the bat into Paul's abdomen sending him backwards into the living room before he finally stumbled on his own feet hitting his head on the coffee table.

The dark figure moved taking advantage of the situation and stomping on Paul's abdomen causing him to gasp and cough for air. Paul reached for the only available thing on the coffee table and used the book he'd been reading as his only defense. He swung up hard hitting the figure's chin, then swung again side-to-side before kicking with his good leg sending the figure back.

Ignoring the pain that felt like someone had shot his kneecap clean off of his body Paul stood and effectively bum rushed the figure across the living room and into the kitchen. As they hit the ground a flurry of punches were thrown from both side as Paul moved with determination at the figures ribs hitting with any available strength he had. Paul felt the blood that practically poured from his head as it moved down stinging his eyes. It took one violent kick with the figures heel into Paul's knee to send him rolling away clutching his knee in pain. "Leave!" he half commanded and half begged. The figure moved again and Paul shoved his foot into its crotch effectively dropping the person to their knees.

Paul drug his body through the house unaware that he was leaving a trail of his own blood along the way. He moved frantically as a soldier would in war dragging his belly along the ground and gaining ground with his forearms. "Isaac!" he called out to the baby who ear's curdling screams spurred Paul on faster…until he felt the heat in his back, the stabbing pain of having a peace of serrated metal thrust into his back and then pulled out and thrust in again. When he felt it pull out he rolled punching once as hard as he could sending the figure away long enough for Paul to get his hand's on Isaac. He pushed himself against the wall struggling for breath as he took Isaac into his arms watching the figure advance knife in hand.

Paul, feeling darkness closing in around him held as tightly as he could to the infant and gasped for breath as he spoke, "You'll…have to…kill me."

With that one sentence interpreted as a challenge, the dark figure moved grabbing Paul by the hair with one hand and plunging the knife into his chest and slamming his head into the wall. The figure took Isaac out of Paul's limp embrace, placed him into the car seat before returning to the kitchen taking a manila folder Olivia had left out in case an emergency with Isaac occurred. As abruptly as the figure arrived he left.

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Paul came to painfully slow. He looked down to see the source of his pain was a knife sticking straight out of his chest. While he knew he shouldn't move, he also knew that he was sitting in his own blood and time was of the essence. He crawled in immense pain to the phone that Casey has casually dropped on the recliner earlier that day. Reaching up for it took almost all of his strength. Paul managed to turn the phone one and push the number nine then the number one before he blacked out.

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"The phone is still busy." Olivia furrowed her brows looking at Elliot, "What the heck are those two doing?" she smiled.

"Relax Liv…we got one more stop sign for crying outloud." He laughed.

"Elliot…we're almost three hours early…what if they're…busy?" She smiled as he stopped the vehicle at the intersection checked both ways into the darkness of the country and preceded to accelerate.

"I don't think they would be doing anything this close to the wire." He told her with a laugh as they turned into their driveway.

"You must have forgotten about us in the house office when I invited everyone over." She lifted her brow then furrowed them noticing Elliot's very nervous reaction.

"What?" she asked seriously following his eyes to their house. The lights were on, there was no movement, and the door was wide open.

"Do you have your gun?" Elliot asked reaching for his own thankful he refused to leave it behind.

Olivia opened the glove department pulling out hers and dialing her cell phone as they stepped out of the car in unison. She held off pushing the send button until they knew for sure it wasn't their paranoia getting the best of them. They moved silently almost stealthy up the porch leaning against the wall. Elliot ducked looking through the door before returning to Olivia as they both rushed in; guns raised.

"Casey!" Elliot yelled out pointing to her lifeless body allowing Olivia to tend to her as he went through the house to find Paul collapsed in a pool of blood in the living room.

Olivia pushed send and waited for what she thought was hours for dispatch, "This is detective Olivia Benson…" Elliot heard her recite her badge number and call for a bus.

"Make it two!" He yelled back still looking around the house with his weapon drawn. He moved through searching the office and master bedroom finding nothing. He walked smoothly to Isaac's nursery feeling like the soldier in his dreams as he gripped his gun pointing it down and peering into an empty crib.

"OLIVIA!" He screamed with a desperation that he had never done, as he holstered his weapon and pulled the comforter away revealing only mattress. Frustrated he moved opening the closet looking for his son.

Having never heard Elliot scream like she just had she bolted down the hall to see Elliot pulling anything and everything out of the closet. "What is it?" She asked lowering her weapon and engaging the safety knowing it was dangerous to tuck it into the back her pants but doing so anyway.

"Isaac…he's not here!" he said frantically moving past her and ripping through their room searching, hoping Paul and Casey had managed to hide him before they were attacked. He found nothing as he moved room-to-room Olivia checking and double-checking as frantically as he was until they both heard people behind them shouting.

"FREEZE POLICE!" Their hands went up instantly in unison.

"We're detectives." Olivia screeched realizing she was crying.

"Show me I.D" Said a voice coming from the door.

"It's in my wallet." Elliot said slowly lowering his hands and pulling out his wallet displaying a flat badge and photo I.D.

"Sorry." The cop said lowering his weapon, "Dispatch said B and E."

Elliot moved quickly, "Our son is missing!" he said moving to the hallway and grabbing a picture off of the wall. "He's seven months old," He told them as he switched into detective mode, "Name: Isaac Reagan Stabler, blond hair, blue eyes, birthmark behind right ear." He continued a detailed description as he saw the ambulance rushing off with Casey first and Paul shortly thereafter.

Olivia stood alone in their bedroom hearing her husband provide all the necessary information to save their son as she sat emotionless on the foot of the bed her emotions rising dangerously manifesting themselves in a scream of his name, "ELLIOT!" she cried out as hard as she could sobbing as he ran back to her.

He saw her crying in her own hands then realized he'd left her alone to process the fact that their son was gone. He embraced her as he sat feeling her chest rise and fall, as the fear of every parent just became their reality.

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"How are they?" Olivia asked in a lonely whisper to Cragen who had picked them up from their home opening up his to them while CSU went over it looking for any evidence they could find.

He cleared his voice offering her and Elliot a cup of coffee, "Hospital called just after you did…its bad Liv."

Olivia shook her head acknowledging his answer but unwilling to know the details, her world was spinning out of control and she didn't know if she could handle anything else.

"Alex is at the hospital with them…they're not alone Olivia." He assured her knowing she wouldn't want them to be.

She tried to speak but found herself hiding in Elliot's embrace as she sobbed uncontrollably for her son as Elliot rocked her gently allowing his own tears to fall. Cragen stood, "I know you won't want too, but you two need a shower…take my bed and try to sleep…I've got everyone on this…we're gonna find him." He assured them wondering if they actually would.

Elliot managed to lead her into the bathroom and undress her between her need to be held and her need to cry out a pain that he had never seen her capable of doing. Stepping into the shower, he tried reassuring her, comforting her, anything to make her pain stop but finding nothing that could sooth the gaping wound that stung her heart.

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Captain Donald Cragen sat on his couch pouring over faxed information on possible leads from Munch and Fin. He didn't have the heart to leave Elliot and Olivia and he knew they would want to know immediately what was happening so he made his home his work space barking orders over cell phones and signing directives over the fax machine. He exhaled hearing the cries of both Elliot and Olivia coming from his bedroom.

He had just finished pressing the fax button to send a directive to Munch when his cell phone rang. He looked at the caller I.D. noting it was Fin and answered the phone, "Cragen." He answered then heard the news from the other side, "You're sure it 's him?" he asked softly in an effort to alarm Olivia or Elliot, "No, I'll tell them…bye."

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Olivia wiped her tears and then her hands on a white T Shirt Cragen had given her to wear while he washed their blood stained clothes. "Come in." she said in a weak voice unwilling to let go of Elliot.

Cragen entered the room looking at both of them not knowing exactly what to say, "Fin just called me."

Olivia raised herself from Elliot's chest, "What did he say?"

"Cap, did they find him?" Elliot felt a glimmer of hope.

"There was a wreck…about a mile from your house." He swallowed hard.

"Isaac?" was all Olivia could say as she searched Cragen's face for answers.

"Olivia…the impact," he felt his own tears form as Elliot slipped his arms around Olivia knowing that what was coming next would be devastating. "The car caught on fire…they managed to salvage what appears to be Isaac's diaper bag…and medical information." He exhaled wiping his own tear knowing their next question would be the hardest to answer.

Elliot managed to ask what Olivia couldn't bring herself to, "Did they find Isaac?"

"There's no easy way to say it…" Cragen shook his head telling them their son was dead without saying a word. Elliot cried into his wife's hair as she clung fiercely to him then suddenly withdrew switching to detective Benson trying desperately to disassociate herself from the situation. "We have to go," he mumbled looking around for clothing unconcerned that she stood in front of Cragen in a shirt in panties. "They'll need someone to identify him." She said grabbing a pair of slacks that were Cragen's and attempting to put them on in her confusion until Cragen placed his arm on her shoulder, "The body…Isaac," he couldn't bring himself to break her heart. He embraced her, "I'm sorry Olivia…the fire was so bad…."

He felt her knees buckle as she feel out of his arms only to be caught by Elliot who sunk to the floor with her crying in the arms of one another. As Cragen turned to leave he had to catch his own emotion in his throat as he heard Elliot sing her into calmness, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…"

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Elliot stared blankly at the Pastor who was speaking, unable to identify a word he was saying but occasionally recognizing his son's name, a familiar story told by a friend how his son brought them laughter. He felt Olivia's hand cover his softly as he wrapped his arms around he shoulders and brought her as close to him as possible as she cried silent tears, too exhausted for anything else to come out.

She stared at the tiny silver casket that she knew held her son as the rain began to fall adding more gray to their already darkening world. She shuddered against Elliot's body as they cried against one another seeing the pastor motion to two other people to begin lowering the casket into the now muddy hole.

She had to restrain herself from lunging at the man who toppled the first mound of dirt onto her son. She cried harder knowing her would be cold, knowing she couldn't touch him, hold him or feed him ever again.

Elliot watched as friends and colleagues tossed yellow daisy's into the hole, he saw Cragen toss his and he traced it with his eyes as it fell into the dark nothing that would soon become him… that would haunt her… and had the propensity to destroy their marriage.

THE END

Look for the third piece to this series, "Divided We Fall."


End file.
